What time is reasonable for a 12 year old to stay out

[Navigatingnewwaters]

Im pretty sure I’m not being the old fuddy duddy my almost 13 year old thinks I am but she wanted to stay out until 9pm on the common, about 20 minutes walk from home tonight and I thought that was too late. Her friends were allowed so that makes it worse for her I think.

I would have said 9 was reasonable for a 12/13 yo.

I think 9pm is too late!

Do you have parental confirmation that her friends can stay out till 9pm or is this what your DD is telling you?

Im struggling to remember, I know I stayed out till 9/10 when I was 14 but I was definitely up to no good so that may be colouring my decisions unfairly.

I think 9 in the summer when it's still pretty light is ok for an almost 13 year old

One of the girls dads was going to pick them up at 9

I personally feel like in summer 9 is okay because it's still light and she's not far away from home but I suppose by that logic she'd have to come in at 4 in winter

Do what you think is best

9pm in Summer is fine for a 13 year-old.

Thanks 😊 It’s hard transitioning from little kid to teen and having to decide what’s best.

Mine was allowed out til 9.30 if somewhere specific (bowling, cinema) 8 if in town (home before too many people drinking) or 9 if in the park etc.

I think it’s fine. My almost ten year old is out till 9. Prob only about 2 mins from the house but I’d be fine with him being 20 mins away at 13

I'd expect them home by twilight. This time of year, inside by 9pm, getting earlier as the nights draw in.

At 13 ds was out around 9-9:30ish in summer.

Depends what your "the common" is like. If it is where older teens hang out and drink I would be a bit more wary, with ds he was usually out with friends on bikes and went to the local astro turf.

Wow, I’m not that brave 😊 My DS is 9 and he doesn’t go out alone but we live on a main road rather than a cul de sac sadly.

I think it depends on the personality type. It would be a definite no for my nearly 13 yo DD but she is not very street wise and pretty gullible. And the common around here would be all about teens getting up to no good!

Yes there are often older kids there.

Yes 9 is definitely fine in my book.

Id say as long as it’s light outside and your picking her up it’s fine.

Thanks all for your opinions and advice, I will go back to the drawing board and give her a little more leeway next time

Is she nearly 13 in Y8 or Year 9?

To be honest at 13 ours didn't go out in the evenings; they were back by 6ish, as were all their friends unless it was a specific occasion when parents would have been involved with drop-off and pick offa.

Absolutely no aimless mucking about at the park/on the common.

She’s Year 8

I'd have no problem at all. I live in a fairly small village, and there are assorted groups of kids drifting around until a lot later than that on a Friday and Saturday evening.

DS is 13 now.
Last Summer he stayed close ish to home but was allowed out until 9.30./10 providing he kept in contact (a text per hour)
This Summer he will be the same I imagine but his friends live in the next town so he tends to come home earlier due to wanting a lift and me having his toddler age brother.

That sounds lovely ☺️

We were in a cutesy seaside town over half term. By 7pm the town centre was dominated by a group of what looked like 12-13 yr old boys, kicking footballs at shop windows and cars, while young girls in hotpants egged them on.

It's not so much the curfew as what they're up to. As a parent you have a responsibility to be aware of whether theres underage drinking, drug taking, anti social behaviour etc.

If it's wholesome fun in the park and a parent is making sure they're home safely then 9pm doesn't seem unreasonable.