Minor dd friend issue - how would you handle?

[FloatingthroughSpace]

Dd coming to the end of year 7.

She has a new friend this year who is a lovely person. She comes round after school at least once a week and stays for tea and this is fine. Dd has never been to her house except to drop friend's bag off on the way to ours. She (friend) is youngest of 4 girls and DD says their house is small and untidy and there's stuff everywhere so it's easier to come to ours to play. I have met Dad but never Mum and Dad does most of the communicating (well, all) so I am inferring that Mum may be fragile in some way.

The minor issue is around boundaries. When she comes to ours, she opens the fridge and helps herself to things. She asks for money so she and DD can go to the shop for sweets. I fund them both every time. And she picks up Dd's diary and reads it, which DD says she doesn't know how to make her stop.

In every other way she's delightful. Kind, funny, thoughtful etc. I wonder if it's a youngest child in a bunch of girls thing.

I have said that I would prefer if she asked before taking stuff from the fridge, to no effect - she is just less obvious about it! Thing is I am really happy for her and DD to hang out at ours and don't want to make her feel unwelcome. And Dd's diary...how to handle? At the minute she is hiding it while asking Friend (we can call her Rosie) to wait outside her room so she can get changed. But long term, Rosie needs to learn that reading other's diaries is not on.

Our house is an ordinary semi detached house btw, we don't live in a mansion and are not rich. It is a bit bigger than Rosie's though.

Any ideas?

I fund them both every time

You are rewarding her behaviour of asking for money for sweets. Is that what you want to do?

I'd stop the offering of money as it's going to become expected and expensive over summer.

Lurk by the fridge and catch them both in the act. (I'd prewarn dd that you'll be telling them both how to behave)

And buy a little cash box for the diary, key in your room etc.

If it's a friendship you want to cultivate, then friend needs to learn what your house boundaries are.

'Df, you're very welcome here but I have said before that children ask before getting snack and drinks, I need you to do the same' being firm isn't shouting

I had a friend like this as a teen regarding food. Food was heavily restricted at her house due to financial constraints, so coming to our house that that had a fridge full to feed a family of 6 and no limit on fruit was heaven to her

leave her in garden
why? how do they spend time
together if she's out in garden? what an odd attitude.
Your DD is 12?13? why is she incapable of saying no leave my diary? Teach her not to be a doormat, lead by example.

Why haven't you taught your daughter that no one but her reads her diary?
Also have you considered that Rosie's mum may find you difficult to communicate with so doesn't do it? Your use of the word fragile is patronising.
Just be more direct and tell her to get out of the fridge and stop invading people's privacy. And keep your nose out of her families business.

I have taught my daughter that diaries are private. Hence why she is struggling to manage her friend who isn't respecting that.

Re Rosie's mum. I don't see how she would find me in particular hard to communicate with. I have never laid eyes on her, nor spoken to her, nor communicated via text or Whatsapp.

I have used the word fragile as I said, as an inference because I assume there is a reason for her stark absence - and I know she isn't working - but don't know if it's physical or mental health or what, and I don't want to pry.

You sound very prickly. How do I have my nose in her family's business? Feels like you are just trying to pick a fight tbh.

@FloatingthroughSpace I might be prickly, funnily enough I was thinking the same about your posts! I was just annoyed that you referred to someone you have never met and know nothing about as fragile and you seemed to make some assumptions about their family situation. Also I think it's really important that children know that things like dairies are for their own eyes only, and that this privacy is maintained at all times. I'm not looking for a fight though, sorry if I came across like that.