How young is two young

[Summerofcontent]

When people say "they died too young" at what age would you consider it to be?
Where is the cut off between dying too young and having a good life?
Then conversely, where is the cut off between having a good life and living to a ripe old age?

My Granny died at 80 and it felt 'too soon,' which I suppose objectively isn't true. But she died of a completely avoidable cancer, linked to her excessive use of alcohol throughout her life, so it felt like she could have had a much longer innings.

I also think so much has to do with health.

My grandmother is 87 and if she were to die today it would feel too soon. It wouldn’t be tragic, perhaps, but she’s healthy, active, drives, hosts parties, spends time with her great-grandchildren so her life is very much worth living. My other grandparents who also passed in their 80s (I was very lucky to have them all so long) were all very ill when they passed and it felt like they’d lived good long lives.

"When people say "they died too young" at what age would you consider it to be?
Where is the cut off between dying too young and having a good life?"

My mum is always saying this, but the age at which is too young seems to correlate with her age. When she was in her 40s, it was 40s or 50s, in her 50s, it was people in their 50s and so on. Now she's in her 60s, she considers people their 60s and early 70s to be too young!

It's all relative.

I think when you love someone there's never enough time. My mam died when she was 60 but I think I'd still think she was too young if she had been 70 or 80.

She felt very elderly, was often ill, had limited mobility, couldn't live at home

id be careful about saying it was ok someone died because their life was like this.
Im chronically ill. That description could fit me quite well tbh. (DH has taken over everything).

This doesn’t mean my life isn’t worth living. Nor the life of countless people with chronic illnesses.

Under 60 is definitely a ‘died too young’ for me. A relative died in his early 70s and it felt a bit premature but he was poorly so it felt like a relief.

the big variable really is quality of life. I’d rather go at 75 in good health than die at 88 following a decade of poor health.

It wouldn’t be tragic, perhaps, but she’s healthy, active, drives, hosts parties, spends time with her great-grandchildren so her life is very much worth living.

There is much more to life that hosting parties.
Equating a life worth living with being able to constantly ‘do things’, being up and about etc… is a very restrictive way of looking at life.

Actually I’d say equating a life worth living to doing things and ‘being healthy’ is ableist.

My grandmother had a stroke and died a few days later in her mid seventies.

Her latest sport results were published after her death, in the same edition of the local newspaper as her obituary.

Thats what she would have wanted, enjoying life until the end. She had been a widow for over 20 years at that point... her husband definitely died too young (a few days after the first grandchild was born).

Definitely under 70. In your 70s is still fairly young these days too.

Under 65

I would say under 50 /55 ish would be young to die.
Although I wouldn't say too young.

Before you're retired for a good while. So about 75. It's less traumatic for your offspring. Under 60 is very cruel, you're going to miss out on so much. Too many people we know dying young. It's mainly why I've just retired early and DH is asap (both almost mid 50's) we've got big plans for the next 10+ years🤞

Under 75 is getting significantly below the average of 82, and cause of death is increasingly likely to be illness rather than generalised old age as you go younger from that point.

By 75 most people will have had the chance to retire, enjoy grandchildren and experience each stage of life. The younger from that, the more "too young" and I've lost relatives in their 50s and 40s. The relative in his 50s was more "too young" than the one in his 40s with lifelong poor health and was an old, exhausted man within the limits of his body and mind.

Quality of life matters and health is a large part of that. I've got a relative in her 90s who's ready to slip away now with her independence gone, and critically, no interest left in the world and her sense of self slipping away. She's had a good life and there's little pleasure left for the coming months.

When people wittered that Prince Philip was "too young" at 99 and a couple of years of failing health, I'm amazed I didn't roll my eyes hard enough to damage my optic nerves 😂 Some people do live well into their 80s and 90s, but resilience fades and peoppe can deteriorate quite rapidly past that point. A few years can make the difference between mourning lost potential and suffering too long.

I would say under 50 /55 ish would be young to die.
Although I wouldn't say too young

let me guess, you’re in your 20’s?

Child - tragic
Under 40 - heartbreaking
40 - 60 still too young
60 - 80 could be worse
80+ ripe old age

Late 70s is way too early, my FIL is 75 it’s heartbreaking to think he would be gone in the next 5 years. He had a rich full life - volunteers - involved in Church and charities.

Before your parents. Noone should bury their child.

This is such an interesting thread. There is no ‘right’ answer, though most would certainly seem to agree that dying before the age of 50 is ‘too young’.

I started thinking about a girl I went to school with who had very complex medical conditions and disabilities. She was expected to live into her teens and not much beyond that, but I believe she was actually well into her 30s when she died. That is obviously far too young for anyone to die, and absolutely devastating for her family and everyone who loved her, but in terms of her life expectancy, it might be fair to say she had a ‘good innings’.

I don’t know if I’ve phrased that very sensitively and I hope it doesn’t come across badly. Obviously, no one would have wanted her to die in her 30s but then no one would have wanted her to have such complicated health conditions in the first place because life was often very painful and difficult for her.

I'm 67, still fairly fit and healthy, my kids (both in their 40s) would definitely (I believe) say far too young but I would rather die now than live beyond independence. I live alone and that may well colour my view.

My parents both lived into their 90s and each expressed, many times, from mid 80s that they were 'ready'. Both still had cognitive abilities and had no serious chronic illness. although were beginning to get more frail.

I suspect I may be around until my 90s but really have no desire to live that long

DH was 57 and it was far too bloody young.

My DDad was 60 and DFIL was 70. I would say anything under 70 is too young.

DFIL was actually much fitter and healthier than Dad but had a sudden heart attack. Whilst it was a major shock it didn't feel "too young" possibly because DMIL died at 57. DDad definitely felt too young. I think 3 score years and 10 is about right and anything over in good health is a bonus.

My brother died 4 months ago at 45. That was too young.

My dad died suddenly at 62 in April this year, he had undiagnosed dialated cardiomyopathy which caused a cardiac arrest and then brain damage which left him semi vegetative. I'm 35 and feel totally robbed of time with him. My children won't remember him (6,5,2). 62 is very young to me. I think anything under 70-75 is relatively young.

My dad was 61 when he died. He’d been getting progressively iller for over a decade and his quality of life was poor. It wasn’t too soon, he wasn’t too young.