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Original poster

Started my new job today and I hate it 😭

70 replies

Meltinthemiddle · 29/06/2022 17:45

Like really, really hate it. Its a care role with young adults with complex needs. I can't explain how I feel but I feel physically sick about going back there tomorrow 🤮. I've worked with sen children which I did love it but I was constantly getting hurt due to lack of support from senior leaders and so I only left because I didn't feel safe at times but actually loved the job and working with the children. This role has young adults with more physical and health needs or learning disabilities. There was so much to take in, so much admin alot of of sitting around, but also lone working and expectation to cook and drive company van which I wasn't expecting. I just felt like walking out. I don't want to go back tomorrow and I can't go back to my other job. But the thought is making my physically ill😭

OP posts:

Kitten2 · 29/06/2022 17:48

Don't go back. I have known after one day before that a job just isn't for me and called up and explained.

They where ok with it. Disappointed but these things happen and it is a reflection of what they are offering you.

Can you get a temporary job via an agency while you search? They may be able to place you extremely quickly.

Ohtoberoavingagain · 29/06/2022 18:05

That’s a lot of different things for Day One. I’d have been expecting a structured induction period of at least two days. Reading policies ( how do you know what is expected if you don’t read these?) Safety briefing ( fire drill, COSHH, medicine storage, recording events are just a few that come to mind) Did they do any of these?
Driving the vehicle —- was this an assessment of your ability to drive it or did they just let you loose with it ?
The more of these things they failed to do, the poorer the management is and I wouldn’t be happy working for them.

Badger1970 · 29/06/2022 18:18

I came out from my 1st shift in a nursing home in floods of tears. I didn't get a proper induction, just half an hour shadowing someone who was crap at their job and cut every corner imaginable.

I did go back, and asked to shadow someone else. I was luckily then given someone who knew the job inside out and was very dedicated to the residents. If you're feeling that you're being rushed, then say so.

Original poster

Meltinthemiddle · 29/06/2022 19:12

Thank you, I was shadowing but most seemed busy so I didn't really get alot from it despite asking questions. It was alot and overwhelming but I just don't think it's for me. I have 2 shifts this week do I do them and decide from there? I feel like emailing and saying I am not coming back most of my correspondence has been email. They have paid for my DBS too. I feel awful but the thought of is making miserable. I'm looking at agency work as financially I'm worried but I've never been unrealable or in situation like this.

OP posts:

Veryverycalmnow · 29/06/2022 19:17

I stuck with mine when I hated my first day. I felt I would never fit in as didn't like anyone and also had a few surprises about the role like you.
I am glad I stuck with it, as I like it a lot now and can see lots of positives that my initial stress wouldn't let me see!

Original poster

Meltinthemiddle · 29/06/2022 19:30

Thank you. I really don't know what to do I just feel really miserable and dreading going back. I'm just not sure it's for me.

OP posts:

Dancingwithhyenas · 29/06/2022 19:32

I would give it two weeks personally.

SailingNotSurfing · 29/06/2022 19:34

Go in tomorrow, and the next day - in fact give it a week before you jack it in. It might be a fantastic job and you have to give it a chance. If after a week, you still feel miserable, then tell your line manager it's not right for you, and tell him/her why.

FixitJesus · 29/06/2022 19:36

I felt the same at my job (still early days now) but did stick it out, and it really does get better. The first shift is always incredibly overwhelming and stressful!

Give it two weeks, and if you're still unhappy then leave! And don't feel guilty about it either.

Hellhaven · 29/06/2022 19:41

I stuck a job I hated over two years. The toll to my mental health was huge. Sunday evenings were horrendous knowing I had to go there for the next 5 days

Topsy44 · 29/06/2022 19:51

Life is too short to stay in a job you know isn’t right for you. I left a job 5 years ago and I’d only been there 2 days but I just knew deep down things weren’t right. It was 100 percent the right decision for me to leave. Good luck.

Oceanus · 29/06/2022 20:02

How could you possibly go into a job and not know you're expected to drive the company van?! I can't believe nobody told you that... didn't they ask if you had a permit or something? Surely they had to have asked what if you couldn't drive?! If it's not for you, it's not for you. I would give a month so see if it gets better but maybe you should just start applying to other places now and move on asap.

Oceanus · 29/06/2022 20:03

give it*

Bluetrews25 · 29/06/2022 20:05

Hoping this is just the 'stress of the new', and it gets better for you.

Lindy2 · 29/06/2022 20:09

I think you need to give it longer to be able to make a proper judgement as to whether it suits you or not.

The first day is always difficult because everything is brand new. I don't know many people who haven't found the first day of a new job a challenge.

Say no to driving the van if you don't feel able to. Say that was never stated as part of your role.

Hopefully if you start to learn what to do and get to know people, then you might feel more positive.

I don't think I'd quit a job until I'd given it at least a month.

PilatesPeach · 29/06/2022 20:15

Yes, you could try it for longer but if it contains elements you do not like such as lone working, cooking or driving then these are not going to change. I once tried a job for one day and never went back - I really do think my gut knows and the older I get, the more I trust it - I want to enjoy my job and have little flexibility to be unhappy in a job now.

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 29/06/2022 20:19

The first day in a new job is always overwhelming.

I would give it at least one more day. There is no need to make a hasty decision.

Loveisnotloving · 29/06/2022 20:28

Give it a week OP and then walk if you still feel the same. First days can be very daunting.

Original poster

Meltinthemiddle · 29/06/2022 20:39

Thank you I will try and brave tomorrow. They did ask me if I could drive but assumed it would be my own car if needed and if I worked in the community and even then not alot of information or mention about business insurance. Interview was via teams so I didn't get to see them or the clients. The job description mainly focused on the qualities needed but no mention of cooking, cleaning, driving, giving meds and all the things you are expected to do etc so today was really overwhelming a lot more then I thought I'd be doing and very different to what I'm used to. I just had that sinking feeling. They also eat on the go so no really lunch break even though obviously the do have down time. I guess this is the reality of care work!

OP posts:

Cyberworrier · 29/06/2022 20:45

I agree with PP, give it a week or two before you decide. Is there any help you think realistically you could get or support- or is it more that the reality was a big shock and you just don't know if you want to do it?
I'm saddened to hear how poorly your start into the role was handled but not completely surprised. A relative with learning disabilities lives in supported living accommodation and care workers are so hard to get . They make such a difference to such vulnerable people but the system just doesn't seem to be working- which is so upsetting as it means people leave all the time and it's hard for both the care workers and the people they care for. Not at all meaning to guilt you into staying- of course you must do what you need to do. But please give it a few more days.

Ionianprincess · 29/06/2022 20:48

Give it a couple of weeks op - it will be the shock of all the newness and unfamiliarity 💐

Oceanus · 29/06/2022 20:51

OP, you sound very young and naive...! You should have asked more questions! Sounds like you didn't, so they were a bit sneaky and only told you what suited them, which I think is a ridiculous way to work at the end of the day because they'll keep hiring and people will keep leaving!
I assume they didn't ask if you can cook either, because then surely you'd ask why? as it's too random a question. I understand a manager wanting to know whether an employee can get to work easily, hence the do you drive? But you can't assume people know how to cook, so chances are they asked but it sort of passed you by. If they didn't ask that at all and just assumed it, hand in your notice now, a relationship based on half-truths is unlikely to ever build to much.

whydoesitalwayshappentome · 29/06/2022 20:52

I worked for only two nightshifts in a care home a few years ago. It really wasn't my kind of job for several reasons and I hated it.

If you don't want to drive the van then you don't have to. I tried to drive some complicated van thing for one agency job I had and got out because I couldn't even move the thing.

Maybe see how you feel after this week and go from there. It is tough the first few days till you get to know the staff and service users.

bg21 · 29/06/2022 20:52

Well sorry but what did you think the job would be 🤣 please don't go back these people need proper decent carers

Mossstitch · 29/06/2022 20:52

I've been in situation where I absolutely hated it on first day and didn't get any better so gave notice after a month. But when I first qualified after 4 years studying and started on a ward I thought I couldn't take it and silently panicked as kids to support but by third day was alright and 18 years later still love it. So I'd say give it a bit longer but if really not for you change to a different job, there's plenty out there💐

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