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Original poster

DD letting herself out car seat while I’m driving

63 replies

Pinkwellies81 · 28/06/2022 18:20

Can anyone recommend a lock or device to stop her undoing her car seat?
she’s just turned 4 and knows it’s naughty but keeps doing it as she thinks it’s funny (obviously it’s not)

OP posts:
pastabest · 28/06/2022 19:22

at 4 it is highly likely that she is somewhere close to the 18kg limit for the 5 point harness. If she is then the answer might be moving her up into 'the big girl seat' and try using the normal seatbelt.

That should give her a bit more freedom anyway which might be why she is wriggling out of the 5 point harness and you can make her feel grown up and do all the stuff suggested above about how important it is to sit still in the seat now she is in a 'grown up' belt

cataline · 28/06/2022 19:28

whiteroseredrose · 28/06/2022 18:38

Probably not recommended but both of mine did that. In the end I drove slowly into our cul-de-sac and then slammed on the brakes.

Both of course came out of their seats, not hurt but shocked. I explained that that was why they had to stay strapped in - next time they might fly through the windscreen. They never did it again, and were very insistent that FIL strap in every time he got in the car.

I did this too. DS was 3 and he shot out of his seat.

He got such a fright that he never ever did it again.

IfIhearmumagaintoday · 28/06/2022 19:31

SeemsSoUnfair · 28/06/2022 18:34

Unless there is SEN involved she is absolutely old enough at 4 to be told how dangerous it is, for you to be cross enough that she doesn't think it is funny and to up the consequences until she does get it.

I agree. You would expect this from a younger kid!

Interested in this thread?

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Families
user1471538283 · 28/06/2022 19:37

My DS did this once when he was 3. I looked over and he was rolling over on the seat. My DF pulled over and went absolutely mental. My DS adored his DGF and howled all the way home. But he never did it again.

I think this is the way to do it. Little ones are too young to understand an abstract danger. The fear of god works.

WonderingWanda · 28/06/2022 19:38

As everyone else said op you are clearly not demonstrating the proper 'This is really bloody serious and not a game' level of crossness when you are telling her off. Mine got properly shouted at when she did this at a similar age. I tend not to shout unless it's a safety issue e.g running towards a road, going to deep in the sea, about to touch something sharp or hot. So they know it means business.

ApricotSuite · 28/06/2022 19:40

What are you going to do is she decides playing with matches is also funny? Or running into traffic.

Don't take her in a car if she can't manage.

Crumpetloveliness · 28/06/2022 19:45

OP ignore the PPs berating you for your four year old escaping. Mine does similar at four as well, I’ve resorted to locking the seatbelt tightly so they can’t wiggle out.

Dinnaehinksae · 28/06/2022 19:45

You can buy a buckle guard which works on a 5 point harness. It's basically just a piece of plastic that means they cannot unbuckle themselves. It doesn't affect use of the seat or get in the way at all. You can get them on amazon.

Notlostjustexploring · 28/06/2022 19:54

Mine got the absolute bollocking of their life when they tried it and it made an impression. After the fact, to drive the message home, they received a detailed, full of age appropriate gore, description of what would happen if we crashed and they didn't have a seat belt on.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 28/06/2022 19:57

I stopped the car every time, I also told her the car wasn't allowed to move till the seatbelt was fastened and I told her that every time we got in the car. She's 8 now and still lets me know when her seatbelt is clicked and the engine doesn't turn on till she's confirmed she's clicked in.

GettingItOutThere · 28/06/2022 20:01

going to be honest - one of mine did this and they were old enough to understand and my god i let rip

NEVER did it again. I was driving and it was so so dangerous so i shouted (i dont shout normally)!, so the fear of me shouting was enough

it is required, it is so dangerous.

CherryPepsi22 · 28/06/2022 20:08

Get a buckle guard from Amazon they cost about £10. Make sure you have child lock on the doors too.

Hellocatshome · 28/06/2022 20:11

Mine used to do this when he was 2 and even at that age after a stern telling off he stopped doing it. Unless there are any additional needs I would explain why it is naughty and unsafe and what the consequences would be if she continues to do it. You need the quick release buckles to be quick release in case of an emergency.

DinosaursEatMan · 28/06/2022 20:31

One of mine did this on the motorway during a torrential downpour at night. I pulled off at the next exit, stopped and gave them the bollocking of their life, complete with a non-gory explanation about the possibility of flying through the windscreen, and I don’t usually shout at all. They never did it again, but the memory still gives me cold sweats today.

edel2 · 29/06/2022 13:42

You shouldn't need to buy an extra buckle - she's old enough to know not to do this, put them fear of god in her the next time she does it.

LifeIsARollerCoaster22 · 29/06/2022 13:57

At 4 id imagine she's close enough to weight limit of not using a 5pt harness.

At 4 id drive to local police station and speak to front desk to scare her. And im sure 2 min of the front desk telling her its dangerous will work and for them that 2 min is better than scraping her from a wreckage if you were in an accident.
And yes ive done this when my teen was younger prob around 5

Zigzagzogoo · 29/06/2022 14:23

My two year old pulled this once. I strapped him back in and drove him to the local Police HQ, put the fear of God into him. My older dc did it once and responded to a stern telling off.
Honestly you need to manage this. The extra straps and bits of velcro aren't recommended due to the extra faff to get them off if you're in a crash or suchlike.

TwoProngedFork · 29/06/2022 14:32

Go on Amazon (or similar store) and search for anti-escape harness

NoKnit · 30/06/2022 11:27

ApricotSuite · 28/06/2022 19:40

What are you going to do is she decides playing with matches is also funny? Or running into traffic.

Don't take her in a car if she can't manage.

This! If she doesn't keep her seat belt on then she has to walk or get the bus. Might inconvenience you for a few days but she will quickly realise

NoKnit · 30/06/2022 11:28

Oh and please the police are not there to discipline 4 year olds totally wastes their time

DoubleShotEspresso · 30/06/2022 11:31

OP you need a Houdini guard for seatbelt buckle like this you can get them on Amazon uk

www.amazon.com/Houdini-hcnl-Click-N-Lock/dp/B07G3D8Q2F

MolliciousIntent · 30/06/2022 11:37

I'm sure it will be very unpopular but the only time I did this as a child was also the only time my dad ever smacked my bum. Aged about 4 or 5, unclipped myself and tried to climb out of my seat, he was going 80 on the M5, pulled onto the hard shoulder, hauled me out, trousers down, smacked arse (not hard), do not ever do that again, back in the car, drove on in silence.

I asked him about it years later, as an adult, and he said it was the scariest moment of his life, and he needed it to be the scariest moment of my life, so he could be sure it never happened again. And it never did.

Lowcarbfest · 30/06/2022 11:48

MolliciousIntent · 30/06/2022 11:37

I'm sure it will be very unpopular but the only time I did this as a child was also the only time my dad ever smacked my bum. Aged about 4 or 5, unclipped myself and tried to climb out of my seat, he was going 80 on the M5, pulled onto the hard shoulder, hauled me out, trousers down, smacked arse (not hard), do not ever do that again, back in the car, drove on in silence.

I asked him about it years later, as an adult, and he said it was the scariest moment of his life, and he needed it to be the scariest moment of my life, so he could be sure it never happened again. And it never did.

You shouldn't need to buy anything extra to keep a 4 year old in a car seat.
It might be an unpopular view today, but there are times like this when a smacked bottom is appropriate.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 30/06/2022 17:47

MolliciousIntent · 30/06/2022 11:37

I'm sure it will be very unpopular but the only time I did this as a child was also the only time my dad ever smacked my bum. Aged about 4 or 5, unclipped myself and tried to climb out of my seat, he was going 80 on the M5, pulled onto the hard shoulder, hauled me out, trousers down, smacked arse (not hard), do not ever do that again, back in the car, drove on in silence.

I asked him about it years later, as an adult, and he said it was the scariest moment of his life, and he needed it to be the scariest moment of my life, so he could be sure it never happened again. And it never did.

Depends on the child, I smacked ds, also thought it warranted it as it was so serious - didn't work.

MolliciousIntent · 30/06/2022 17:53

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor did you smack him for other things as well? I think for me, having never been hit at all, that one occurrence was enough to shock me. If you smack your kids in general it probably wouldn't work.