What happens with debts run up by a teen living at home ?

[DebtWorry]

Teen dd (19) has run up debts.

she has SEN and won’t deal with it but I can’t call anyone on her behalf and nobody will talk to me. If bailiffs come round how would they know what was hers and what isn’t?? I’m really worried.

She has a part time job but spends her money within days of getting it each month.
I am her appointee for pip so I can be in control of the money needed for medical/therapy etc. But I can’t get her to call about these and I’m not allowed- what do I do ? Who can help me with this issue is there some kind of place that can help so we can sort this out ?

Honestly, I’d just pretend to be her on the phone. How will they know any different?

I could try unless she has passwords set up I guess ?

If they want a payment set up though I don’t know her account number

CAB would help.

We have a lot of local support charities for adults with SEN - are they any near you?

I will look. I’m just so surprised she even managed to get so much credit on a part time job. From looking at these letters (found a load hidden ) she owes about £3000

Who is she in debt to? Is there an argument to be made that she didn't have the capacity to enter into a contract and therefore they'd be more likely to get a resolution if they speak to you?

I tried to post the link but mumsnet need the approve the post but speak to step change they are very helpful and I’d consider having power of attorney if your daughter would agree?

A couple are shopping credit where you split the cost into 3 I think.
another is PayPal

She would never agree to power of attorney . She wasn’t happy about the pip but I told her I need to make sure her medical needs are met so she agrees only because of that.
Ive tried to reach her budgeting each month going through the Pip and what we’ve spent and on what etc I thought she was understanding but obviously not.

*teach

I’ll call CAB in the morning

Martin Lewis was interviewed on BBC News today. Part of his interview talked about the template letter that he put out for bank charges. And that 5% of people printed it and just sent it off without personalising it at all. That 5% of people is hugely vulnerable and should be helped by organisations not punished.

I remember discussing with someone back in the early 90s about child benefit being paid into the bank. They told me they would go and take their money out when it arrived and put it in a jar at home as they knew they could manage their money if they could see it and split it up physically.

It concerns me that tap to pay is so easy that it takes away the actual thought from spending.

The 3 payment ones are possibly Klarna or Clearpay - do you recognise them?

Will she allow for you to be added as an authorised person on the accounts? Even if it is just for one call rather than on a permanent basis if so you just need to call them when she is there
I appreciate this can be difficult if she doesn’t agree & it would be much harder to get responsibility without her co-operation, it is difficult to recommend without knowing her SEND needs & capabilities. Who her GP help with a capability assessment

Clearpay & Klarna do not require full credit searches due to the nature of the type of credit that they are - only a ‘soft’ search is done

She won’t allow it we had to argue with her and insist in the past that she authorised us speaking to student finance on her behalf it was horrendous. I had begged them and explained and they said she was their client and had to consent and she refused I feel this will be the same.

If she would allow it I could help her with setting up repayments but she will not talk about it

discuss a budget to make sure she has enough say youll help her find things within budget so she doesn't have to worry or go without. Try to get to the root of the over spending maybe she feels more comfortable being able to splash out without worrying about expenses maybe this is too much responsibility for her. Agree a repayment plan with her get her to set up a direct debit to pay off her debts

Does she have capacity to contract?

Please don't do this. It's fraud. Op the good thing is that you're not responsible for her debts and they don't impact your address. It's illegal for items that belong to you to be taken by bailiffs and bailiffs are unlikely to be used for things like credit cards/mobile phones etc.

I actually don’t know for certain- I don’t think so personally but she is extremely intelligent, but completely lacks common sense.

What does she say about how she will repay the debts or does she not acknowledge at all?

Speak to Social Care in your area for vulnerable adults, and also Stepchange, who can offer general advice although not specific to her case.

Lenders have specific obligations to vulnerable clients and Stepchange can talk you through that. Social Care are useless if you ever need them to spend any money, but may be helpful on what to do to safeguard her, given you're not seeking provision from them. It's a hidden vulnerability which makes it all the worse to counter, doesn't it.

Sadly I know exactly what you mean. My dd has scores of 99.95 in the ed psych testing and had a reading age of 22 at 6. She's terrifyingly clever in academic terms. She also gets very angry when told unicorns aren't real and no, her friend in school insisting that they are isn't evidence. I am dreading her teenage years, because she presents as very bright and capable, but she's a toddler emotionally and as naive as one, too. ASD and ADHD can be a bugger that way.

Yes it is ASD and ADHD that my daughter has and it’s so hard to deal with someone so highly intelligent yet also so so vulnerable and lacking in some very basic common sense and I can’t get through to her at all . She won’t talk to me about it at all

One of the most helpful things anyone has said to me was a friend (herself autistic, with autistic daughters too) introducing me to the Rule Of Three.

She said that with autism, you knock a third off the chronological age, to arrive at where they are probably going to be emotionally. So your daughter isn't really 19 in maturity - she's 12 or so. The 'packaging' may be clever and present well, but inside she's still a child. She won't always be - she will grow up, too - but a lot more slowly.

Trauma does the same thing, and sadly my daughter's been through quite a lot (I had breast cancer, she was bullied by a deeply unpleasant teacher, though thankfully our LA were bloody brilliant and supportive, as they were already involved with my eldest) so she's even younger for her age - probably half or so. And I do find that helps me in being patient and hopeful that she will get there - just a lot more slowly.

ADHD is linked to being atrocious with money, too, because of the impulsivity and the struggle with considering long-term. It's frustrating that it isn't recognised as a thing with our kids, and they don't have additional protections in place for a while longer than a NT kid would need.

I really do feel for you. It's the old thing, isn't it - small children, small problems; big children, big problems. And when you have ND kids, that's on steroids.

Banks won the case on charges.

It’s not punishing people with special educational needs to hold them responsible for money which they have spent; it’d be punishing those who they have taken it from if they were allowed to just walk away from debts.