Private schooling

[prinnycessa]

Can I ask those of you who send your DC to private school a few questions please?

Do you think it is beneficial from primary school, and if so - why?
What is your household income? Do you afford this comfortably or is it a struggle?
Do just you and the other parent pay or do you have any familial contributions?
Why did you choose to send your DCs to private school?

Thanks!

Yes from primary, our eldest has some challenges which would not have been supported in state school as well (though many state schools are excellent for other SEN needs). Can also see difference in NT DC who has also gone private compared to state peers.

We chose it because of eldest challenges, but have had a really positive experience with other two.

I think the primary/ senior debate depends on your child. For us primary is just as if not more important as it gives them a strong foundation and attitude to learning.

Household income in excess of 400k but it's still tight.

DD is in the preschool attached to a private school, having come through their nursery already. She's got another year to go in preschool before starting reception but we intend her to go all the way through there.

We chose it for her because my husband grew up round here and had a pretty bad experience of school, and it looks like there are still significant challenges - it's a reasonably deprived town. My experience of private school was worlds apart from his, and he wants our daughter to have the benefits I had.

Household income currently just under £50k, but that's including my husband's student loan as he's at university. We will be applying for a bursary for her reception year as that's my husband's last year at university - my parents have said they'll help if we are turned down. We can afford about two-thirds of the fees, as we live very carefully in order to prioritise this - small mortgage, one car etc. Once my husband is earning we just need his salary to cover her fees, we can live very comfortably on my salary once it's not also part-covering preschool/school fees.

@glassdarker thank you, this was really helpful and insightful.

I just worry it's too expensive - as you said it's right on £400k. I do think the benefits outweigh that though and I also like the idea of a religious private school.

@Flev are the nursery fees comparable to normal nurseries? E.g. the nursery closest to our house is over £1k a month full time and £680 for 3 days a week.

Also, how does the 30 three hours work at the private school nurseries/pre schools?

Once you are both earning, do you think it will be comfortable alongside family holidays, eating our regularly, cultural activities etc?

We opted for the local private school initially. It’s excellent, and people from quite a distance fight to get their children in there.

We then changed our mind, and have opted for the local state school instead, foregoing our very significant deposit.

We decided that for primary the differences were likely to be marginal, and as some of his friends were going to this one it’d be nicer.

The cost was going to be £20,000 per year, which isn’t a consideration, that’s not an amount that would make any difference to us.

@Flev is it a private school at the cheaper end of the spectrum most fees in the home counties are 20k+ pa?

With mortgage, car costs, cost of living increases that's not surely not leaving you much to live on/socialise/hobbies/hols?

Absolutely beneficial- class size of 20, specialist teachers/classrooms for art/music/drama/IT/sport from Reception.

household income £160k, no help from anyone else. We are one of the younger and poorer families at school but it’s not a problem, but we drive one 12yo Fiesta v the range rovers that everyone else has. Fees are £4k a term inc lunches, clubs and trips.

DC is summer born and shy. Absolutely thrived in the environment compared to preschool where they got lost in a class of 30.

@FemmeNatal do you think you will send them for secondary?

We have 2 in private school and 1 in the attached nursery. Plan for them all to stay through to 18.

We really liked the nurturing feel and how well supported the children are as individuals. They have many opportunities and access to faculties that our local state schools could never offer them.

we afford the fees comfortably and don’t get any contribution from anyone else for them.

Thanks for the comments. How do people feel about the increasing opinion that when applying for uni, DC can be disadvantaged if applying from private schools because of unis having quotas to fill?

I’m really not sure. If we think that they really need it, then I suppose so. It depends on where we are living. If we move back to France then no, but if we stay living in the stockbroker belt in London and they don’t make it to grammar school then probably.

We are the only people in our street to not choose one of the several “high-end” private schools local to us, and I think several of the other families moved here specifically for them.

I don’t see it as being disadvantaged, it’s more the case that a bias the other way is being removed.

My husband went from a state comprehensive to Oxford, and the data he’s shown me in the past about matched-grade performance (he was asked to fund some scholarships so researched what the current situation was) showed that there’s still a tendency to select a slightly less-able privately educated applicant over a state school one.

@prinnycessa are you writing a article? These are very precise, intrusive questions. Although I am interested in the answers😁

This thread makes me feel 🤢

@FemmeNatal ahh, interesting. I think that's a good move to assist with social mobility. It definitely should be done on ability rather than background

@Perfect28 no one is forcing you to read it

Why?

@AhAgain that's really helpful, thank you. It sounds like your DS is thriving

I’m getting the same vibe from @prinnycessa’s questions

Of course, it could well be implemented poorly, and politics can always turn a good idea into something punitive or harmful.

@Perfect28 why?

We sent our kids private from the start, though our intention was to send them to state primary as the three nearest schools were all rated Excellent, and then private as the local secondaries were not that good. But guess what - didn't get in to any of them due to distance. The schools were clustered together and we lived a few hundred metres too far from all of them. So option was across the borough to a fair school, or private.
My husband was a high earner he paid all the fees.
He was privately educated I was state educated.
Did it benefit them? Yes. My son is not academic but he was held to a high standard in terms of behaviour and I think he would have otherwise been tempted off the path into goodness knows where.
My daughter is high achieving and I think her personality suited a private school as she is happy with rules and regulations.
Plus, the provision provided during the two years of the pandemic highlighted the extreme differences between our private school and the surrounding state schools. Full day online learning from the start, compared to a few worksheets and intermittent online lessons. It was her GCSE years, and the few state school kids I knew did not get anywhere near their potential.

On a 'journalists' salary?