Private schooling

[prinnycessa]

Can I ask those of you who send your DC to private school a few questions please?

Do you think it is beneficial from primary school, and if so - why?
What is your household income? Do you afford this comfortably or is it a struggle?
Do just you and the other parent pay or do you have any familial contributions?
Why did you choose to send your DCs to private school?

Thanks!

Generally I drove the girls, or car shared with another mum. As they got older they used the train, we are rural though, so not always possible.

Academic trips £20 to £40 - generally just covering admission to wherever, and the coach. Packed lunches provided by school.

Big trips can be thousands depending on location and type. Music, language and subject tours to Europe a few hundred. Experience trips of a lifetime, like visits to Africa, South America etc, obviously much more. These big ones they try to fund raise for with quiz nights etc etc, which helps.

The Contrast between the online provision during Covid that my DC had at their Private school and other DC we know across 5 State schools was very marked. I know some State schools must have done a better job that others but some just couldnt provide a comparable education online

@BigWoollyJumpers thank you. Do the experiences of a lifetime tend to be in secondary school? I do believe that ski trips start in primary school though?

Sorry, yes, the big trips were in secondary. Primary tended to be UK residential camping type trips.

I am really interested to know the income question too. In London so fees are high. We are both on decent income but might not bring in that level always so I don't feel it's secure enough.

Between £200-300k and I would say it is closer to a struggle

I guess I found my answer! I'm in London. Better look for somewhere with a good state school to move to pronto.

I saw upthread 400k is tight. That does sound mad but I guess these are gross numbers and tax eats away a lot more at higher levels.

Those finance figures are meaningless, because there are so many variables. We're on just under 200k gross and have two children in an (expensive) private secondary. We live very, very comfortably, including holidays, school trips etc - we're lucky enough to not really need to think about money. But we have a tiny mortgage and don't have a flash lifestyle (through choice not necessity - luxury cars and skiing and parties are just not our thing). I know others on higher salaries who wouldn't even consider private school gecause their outgoings are so much larger.

@AceChilled it's crazy to me that it could be tight on £200-400k! Just shows how expensive private school is

@realfruit fair point - it depends on your money allocation and prioritisation. Having a small mortgage massively helps though I imagine

Of course, but that in itself is a choice (to an extent - obviously only once you're lucky enough to be earning over a certain amount). A lot of people we know followed the same pattern of London flat, then modest family house, then much bigger family house (often with lots of money spent on renovations). We could have chosen to take that third step, but we didn't - we stopped at the modest family house. Not because we're terribly responsible, or more committed to education etc - more because we couldn't be arsed to move, we quite like where we live, and we didn't want a bloody great house and garden to look after (again, not really our thing). So, the mortgage is nearly paid off, and we can spend the money on school and lifestyle and savings instead.

We live close ish to a grammar school area. If I had lived closer, and could have afforded it, I would have sent my children to private primary, as they hope a good proportion of their pupils will pass the 11 plus and get placed there.

However, we don't live there, so my children went through the state system. Pulled of a large number of C grade GCSEs followed by the very top grade BTECs on their college courses, and are now in their 20s doing very well.

Think it's difficult to make conclusions from what others say because surely outgoings esp mortgage will vary so much from family to family.

Ask the school about how many trips are compulsory/strongly recommended eg for languages. Many are not compulsory and you can just say no to eg a ski trip there will be others who don't go on trips for a variety of reasons

I agree, the extras vary a lot. Anecdotally (because we did state primary) I think there maybe tend to be more routine extras like clubs in prep than secondary? For us, lunch and all clubs are included in the fees (there are a couple of clubs that cost extra, but hardly any). Each term, the only big extra on our bill is individual musical instrument tuition, which is optional of course. Other than that, there might be the odd 15 quid for a day trip, a few quid for a couple of days the kids have stayed for supper because we're picking them up late, and occasionally a charge for a parent event that gets put on their bill. Don't think it's ever been more than 50 quid a term, apart from the music. Uniform is reasonably expensive (endless bloody sports kit), but weve got quite a bit secondhand - no stigma with this.

Residential trips range from the 500 quid to the 3 grand variety, depending on whether you're talking a couple of days in Europe or two weeks in the US or beyond. I don't think I'd want to be in a position to never send them on a trip - it's a nice experience to go away with friends. We're aiming to do one of the cheaper trips per child every year or two. I doubt we'll ever do the 2 or 3 grand trips, but I guess we'd consider it if one of them developed a serious passion and was prepared to sacrifice other trips. We don't do the ski trips (kids aren't interested). There's a big variety on who goes on which trips - as I say, I wouldn't want to send them on none, but beyond that it really doesn't matter.

The contextual offer everyone I'd worrying about is hardly a massive advantage for state educated kids, I have looked and it is the difference between an A* and an A in some cases. It is disgusting that people would want to fiddle this when their child has already had a massive advantage.

@realfruit Whereabouts are you happy with for a family home? I find housing a big pain for schooling especially in recent years. If one bought in 2012 it's quite a different story.

We are SE London bordering outer boroughs, trying both for Dulwich schools, and failing that will move - not clear where and always looking for ideas.

We're home counties, but kids aren't at a London school (though they probably could be, just about, as we're a fast train rise in).

I moved my Y2 from state to private last year and the Reception child will make the same move this year.

Whether it is worth it is very dependent on the schools and the child in question.

For us it is totally worth it. The kids really enjoy and value the broad curriculum and it is far more than I could achieve by supplementing a state curriculum.

It allows me to continue working and take more challenging roles as the wrap around care is excellent (unlike the state).

It sets them up better for the private secondary entrance processes.

The small school size and strong adult child relationships have boosted my child’s confidence.

But unfortunately, the LA has decided to take decisions that have damaged the local state schools significantly. Private wasn’t the plan, but it became clear the state schools were on a downward slide and we were lucky we could afford to remove ourselves from the problems.

Affordability is not an issue for us at all but there is a range at the school of incomes, it odd more of a stretch for some than others - only you know your income/other outgoings.

My kids now young adults so able to look back clearly and take a view. Both entirely educated privately in day schools from Nursery onwards to A levels and we funded their university studies too. Income in Mid-high 6 figures and in SE where annual costs at the end were upwards of £25k each annually. Both kids got good degrees. So there’s the context.

Honestly paying for the primary years was probably a waste in terms of academic progress/achievement because state provision here is good (leafy commuter belt). For Secondary I think there is a big benefit in terms of small classes and extra curricular opportunities. Lots of added value academically for both children..

Why did we do it? We were both privately educated, we could afford it and if we are being brutally honest with ourselves it meant our children (and by extension us) were mixing with people like us.

We make 350k gross combined. We have one in private (secondary) and one in state (primary). Once the child in primary hits year 3 we will move them to get access to specialist teachers and sports etc. Two sets of fees will feel tight. One set right now is fine.

@Panamii how much are the fees/will they be if you don't mind me asking?

When my boys were little we decided to look at schools locally. It was about the time we had to put in an application to the authorities to see which school we wanted him to go to. We went to see a few state schools and one had 3 classes of 30 pupils. My son is very bright and very inquizative. I'm not blowing my own trumpet. He could walk at 9m and he has a massive eagerness to learn. We looked at a private school around the corner next I wasn't convinced. It was nice but felt more pushy towards the 11 plus. That wasn't what we wanted. The next school was amazing and had all the school activities you could want but it was expensive. We did look at the local school in our catchment area but it was nearly 2 miles away even though we had a school about 20 mins walk away.

My husband wanted to see this school for ages before he was born. We loved it. It had a smaller class sizeand was super friendly. The state school he would of gotten lost where as there he began to flourish. They took the childcare allowance we were allowed and we sent him along. The teachers were so kind and we could talk about anything. We waited along time to send him as he was late toilet training but he could go in pull ups and in a week he didn't need them. For us he has thrived they both have. They are reading well above average. The oldest is 7 and has a reading of 10 years and 7 months. The younger one is 5 and already reading at a year 2 level.

My husband is the ceo of a business and we pay ourselves for both of them

We chose the send them as he is bright and in a class of 30 or 90 he would get lost. We thought if the in a class of rhag size he wouldn't have progressed as far as he has.

Secondary fees are currently at £23k a year but rising fast. With extras and uniform I'd say we are at 25k for this year.

The benefits depend on what your DC need.

One of mine would have done well anywhere but is that what I wanted for her?
She had a very troubled class around her. How did that benefit her?
So she would have had lots of value from a school where there was more discipline.
However my other DC really needed far more support so accadmically I think she would have started far better in private school.

I have two in private having moved them from state last September (they are in year 3&5), so might be able to offer a good recent comparison.

We didn’t move them because there was anything particularly ‘wrong’ with their state school but they were unhappy and board with the focus on ‘catching up’. Independent has offered much greater breadth with more subject specialists and crucially much more time for fun which has improved their attitude to work. It’s less of a constant slog to jump through meaningless government mandated hoops and more time to foster a love of learning.

No matter how good a state school is they are at the whim of government and nothing I have seen makes me think they give a fuck about any of our children. I also work in a state school.