What did you lie to your DC’s about today

[WetWilly]

I’ve told my DD I put the Mr Kipling Viennese whirls away for her birthday - I have in fact just eaten the last one

I told DD that the pieces of chocolate in my breakfast cereal were raisins, which she doesn't like, so I didn't have to share.

That mummy and daddy are fine and not splitting up....

That it’s bed time…

I told him Sainsbury's didn't have any strawberries. I ate the strawberries. I haven't lied to him yet about the last Solero but I might.

That the dead cat (not ours thankfully) was just very tired and having a sleepy sleepy.

not a funny one.

I lied to mine about his daddy not being able to come to see him tonight. The truth is his daddy is being a spectacular dick and messaged at 6.10 to tell me that he wasn’t going to bother coming to see the toddler this evening. It’s somehow my fault. Obviously. So I had to lie and say that daddy isn’t feeling well.

I told my 5yo that we will absolutely keep the weed that she made into a beautiful crown at school today. We will not.

That you can get arrested for throwing sand in people’s eyes.
Actually, I wonder now if that’s true! Anyway, it stopped him digging furiously and pelting the sand behind him without a care in the world 😂

That a policeman was coming to get her. After stealing a sweet from the shop

I told mine that we had run out of bacon.

I also told him that my “stitches” next week are nothing to worry about.

combat

That we didn't have any salt.

I told mine that Daddy and I had a lovely day together today we were at each other’s throats again

Told them the park was closed today, really can’t be doing with other peoples kids when it’s hot

Pesto pasta is made by baby unicorns and if she doesn't want to eat then that's ok but she will have to phone the baby unicorns to explain she doesn't like what they made for her.

She ate it all.

Happily.

That my chocolate spread toast was marmite.

The swimming pool is closed today.

There are no ice creams left in the freezer.

The sweet I was eating was a cough sweet

Oh shit.
I am sorry for you and I hope you are okay and have some good support around you in RL or here

Stealing that one 😃

That I was nearly finished getting that humongous knot out of her hair and that it wouldn't hurt.

I did similar 😆 DS very reluctant to eat his risotto, so I told him it's special spider-rice and it's what spidermummy and spiderdaddy cook for spiderman, which is why he's so good at leaping around everywhere. Not sure where I plucked that from but it was vaguely the same colour as Spider-Man (contained tomatoes) so it was highly believable. He ate the rice 🙌🏻

That Alexa who lives in the Echo Dot and sings annoying children's songs all day was drinking her milk before brushing her teeth and going to bed.

Actually, at bedtime we say "Alexa, say goodnight!" and she replied "Nighty night, sleep tight. Don't let the beg bugs bite.... and if they do, squish them with your shoe".

The numberblocks are sleeping now

Not today but DS2 who is 7 owns 2 houses we pass on the way to school. One is still being built and he always updates me on what he's been working on. The other has a beautiful garden and he offers to pick some roses for me every day. Points out his worker (the house owner) who works tirelessly every day maintaining the garden whilst single-handedly building house number 1.

Did I also mention that he works in Sainsburys at the weekend?

He thinks he's having me on but it always leads to discussions about work and money. As far as I'm concerned I'm instilling a great work ethic!

He can't afford to pay me rent though which was this mornings disagreement.

That there wasn’t different shaped pasta available…I knew there probably was At the back of a cupboard but I’m not opening a different packet because shells are difficult to eat 😳