I’ve only been on them for just over a year and have no intention of ever trying to come off them. 35 fecking years I tried to positively think my way out. I thought I’d done it. Suicide ideation was down to a few times a day and I could brush it out of my head. I honest to god didn’t think I was depressed any more, because it was nowhere near as dark and draggingly painful as I remembered it in my teens. I just thought I was moody.
One fab new GP during the pandemic later. Christ on a bike I didn’t know humans could feel so light and free. I did have a bit of a wobble when I wondered if I had a brain tumour due to a strange feeling. It took a while cos I hadn’t felt it for so long, but a l8ng faded memory returned, not a tumour just what mild optimism feels like.
I’m not going back. Don’t give a crap what anybody thinks. Don’t even care what the doctor thinks. I’d buy on the black market if I had to. If this one stops working I’ll try everything on the market until I hit pay dirt again.
The really stupid thing, all the stuff that people tell you will lighten your mood, meditation, pos. thinking, healthy (ish) eating, coaching, walking, exercise, fresh air… actually works…,, when you aren’t so depressed you can’t face another step, another bite, another second of trying to think more +ly.
If I have an off day all the recommended stuff is a tool I can access now. Before antiDs, Nada. I tried, I really really tried to make myself well and unbroken, but a pill worked a miracle in a matter of months, whereas decades of slog didn’t make much of a dent. I’ll be on them til I die and I’m fine with that.