What's life like after kids have left home?

[juIia]

My DC are only little but I've found myself mulling this over. So right now we're in the throws of parenting, including SEN children and so have little time for hobbies, going out in evenings, social life. Friends with children are in the same position. I often read on here about single people saying their friends who have families are often busy at the weekends as they're busy with family life (as we are). So what actually happens once the DC have moved out? How do you resume your social life once you're less tied up with your kids? Does everyone in the same boat (say if you were mum friends with people with children of similar ages) suddenly socialise at the weekends? Or do you find that you've lost many old friends and your old social life by being tied up with your own family for so long and then it's hard to get a social life back?

Quiet

Less expensive

You get to opt out of cooking.

Less washing and ironing

Holidays in term time whenever you want.

Did I mention how quiet it is?

Try and keep friendships going even when your DCs are small. I think it's important, even if you feel knackered, to meet up for a meal or a glass of wine, or cinema. Kids grow up very quickly so its important to nurture those friendships.

We're in a horrible limbo at the moment.
DD2 still at home in year 12.
DD1 just graduated but doesn't seem to have any plans to come home anytime soon. I'm sure she will , out of necessity if nothing else.
I miss her like crazy, we haven't seen her since Easter and she phones less and less.
I should feel proud that she's so independent and ready to enter the real grown up world but I don't.
This by far is the hardest it's ever been.
She needs us when things go wrong but when she's 'living her best life ' we are no more than a foot note.
But home is still here for her. Her room remains the same waiting for her to come home.
TBH I think we'll be living this limbo for many years.
As much as I miss her I am looking forward to the day when she properly moves out, taking all her c**p with her 😂
Going to go through the same thing with DD2 next year.

It is not as bad as I imagined, DS is happy following his dreams which is quite reassuring, and I am enjoying having less responsibilities, more freedom and more… spare money.

sandgrown yes my parents paid for driving lessons, first car, house deposit and £5k towards my wedding. I want to do the same for my DC. Like I said, I still see my friends, we keep in close contact via WhatsApp and we meet for coffee, go for walks but I've no interest in expensive meals out or weekends away. They're DC are very young so they're not up for that either. It's also never too late to make new friends, my parents have a huge social circle now that they've retired. I'm looking forward to doing the same but for now my priorities are giving my DC a good start to adult life. That means far more to me that having lots of friends and spending the money socialising .

*their

Same for me.
My children are now 9 and 12 and I've always kept my relationship/ social life with my closest friends. I was the first to have children but they've been great in either making sure we do plenty of child friendly socialising or working round childcare etc. Yes I've missed some social events but I don't feel like it's affected our friendship in anyway.
My best friend has just had her first baby and I'm trying to make sure I make the time to see her either with or without children in tow.
Friendships are like any other relationship and require a bit of effort on both parts I think

We never had any family support at all. We ALWAYS had hobbies, (separate and together); nights out together, and adult friends round after the kids were in bed. ( I ran a babysitting circle, free babysitting (paid in tokens) by trusted friends the children knew). The more babysitting you did, the more tokens you earned, the more babysitting you could "buy".

Parents need to make time for themselves, each other, and their relationship; it makes you better parents. It sets the children an example of diverse friends, interests and activities. When they fly the nest, you're left with much more than a bunch of dead twigs and a few broken egg shells.

At the other end of an active interesting life, when retirement looms, you won't be sitting in armchairs with pipe and slippers watching daytime TV. You'll be wondering how you ever had time to go to work.

You'll be wondering how you ever had time to go to work.

This is a beautifully put thought and vision Thank you for commenting this.

I've found everyone's perspectives very very helpful - thank you!