Is this why mumsnetters don't like to open the door when they are not expecting anyone

[Luidaeg]

Is this why mumsnetters don't like to open the door when they are not expecting anyone

The Crazy Step-Father
Parents can come up with all sorts of make-believe rules and reasons. All you can do is agree with them. This guy shares that they weren't allowed to use the front door. Their stepdad kept the key, and even visitors had to go to the back through the side gate

His stepdad told them only cops use the front door. Anyone who came to the front was automatically suspicious of him. So, they were to never answer the door to strangers.

There are places where the back door is for friends and family and the front door is for officialdom, but I'm not sure that's the deal with MNers, I think they'd be even more outraged by people popping in the kitchen door.

In Granny Weatherwax's community it's only appropriate to use the front door three times, and each time you're carried.

(when you think about it that doesn't make sense, because you'd be carrying your own babies in, but let's not ruin a great quote)

If I don’t want to open the door, it’s usually because I’m not yet dressed at e.g. nearly 11 am but I will generally swallow my shame and open it anyway.

What's the third time you are carried through a front door? Birth, and Death, and...

I don’t answer the door if I’m not expecting someone because I don’t want to talk to anyone. That’s it really!

Marriage

Marriage (for a woman)

The step-dad in your example sounds like a loon.

No, I think the majority of MNers don't answer the door because either:

a - they are in the middle of dealing with something like a poonami.

b - they have an threateningly unpleasant ex.

c - they have anxiety.

d - they are far too important to be bothered by some random.

e - they are as deaf as a post (like me).

hth

They've seen the door to door chuggers heading up the other side of the street and know it's them on a return pass.

No-one I know would just drop by without a quick text in advance (to check you are in and it's a good time) so an unexpected knock usually means someone trying to sell me religion, politics or utilities, so I'm not going to waste my time opening the door to that

Quite traditional where I'm from for the front door not to be used.
In my house growing up- mum would just shout "round the back", both my grandparents and my mum's sister.
Nobody refused to answer the back door though.

That's rather extreme!
But yes, where I grew up the front door was used by 'officials' or for special occasions, the back door was every day use.

When I was growing up, the front door was only used by the postman (that was where the letter box was), Carol singers and twice by the police when they called after my dad had been involved in a car accident. At one point you couldn't even open it as it became stuck - that was for about 4 years!

I lived in Sheffield for 2 years, and literally no-one uses the front door. I always found it so strange and really complicated going round the back, up the ginnel and counting the houses to get the right one. I got it wrong often.

My Nan was a bit like this (minus the fear of the police aspect). No one who knew her ever used the front door. I think it’s fairly normal for working class families.

Why I don’t like answering the door if I don’t know who it is - when I was a teenager home alone one of those ex-cons selling tea towels came to the door and stuck his foot in it so I had to really slam it to close it. Looking back I don’t think he meant harm beyond giving me a fright/it was his weird idea of a joke but I was absolutely terrified and that’s always stayed with me (I hated being home alone anyway as lived in a very big dark creaky house).

However I’m in the MN oddity in that I love unexpected visitors so I do answer the door anyway.

Polis and bailiffs

If someone is at the door unannounced it's either some trying to covert you to their religion, a salesman or someone asking to do odd jobs who you don't want about. All strangers. Someone could easily push their way into your home. I tell my kids not to open the door to anyone even if they look like a police officer 🤷‍♀️

I'm potentially just not a very trusting person

I must be an oddity as I’ve always got people knocking on the door. Partly my Online shopping habit but my sister and my mum will often pop over if they’re passing, a neighbour will often knock for various reasons and there’s always a friend with a dog seeing if we fancy a walk. I always open it

Our front door growing up was so unused it didn't physically open!! So when we heard a knock we'd yell 'FRONT DOOR' and someone would have to leg it out of the back, through the garden, round the edge of the house and into the street shouting 'hello that's my door'!!

I'd completely forgotten about that until now!

If I'm not expecting a parcel or a visitor I general ignore the front door. It's almost always a charity person wanting my bank details.

Odd. Round here telling people to use the side/back door is an insult to their class because the side/back door is for staff, tradesmen and deliveries. So the polite thing to do is to answer front door and also to let them in via the front door. Only exception is a garden party where you go direct to the garden/terrace.

All these MNetters who won't answer the front door. I bet a lot of them would have no trouble knocking on someone else's if they were in trouble.

In one house, we didn’t use the front door as the sofa was in front of it. Nowhere else to out it. So we used the front window and leant out to send anyone round to the back door. Tiny box of a house, two rooms downstairs and two rooms upstairs.

People can't get to my back door because my side gate is locked. I would not be happy that people could access my back door. Not a secure idea.

We answer the front door for parcels but people we like come round the back. So far no Police visits!

I don't always answer the door if I CBA because last time I checked there are no laws covering this and I can do as I please in my own home.