"Doctors warn against over-medicalising menopause"

[flashbac]

"Writing in the British Medical Journal they said there was an urgent need for a more realistic and balanced narrative which actively challenges the idea that menopause is synonymous with an inevitable decline in women’s health and wellbeing..."

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/jun/15/doctors-warn-against-over-medicalising-menopause-after-uk-criticism

I must admit, the raising awareness of how shit the menopause can be has created some worry about my impending menopause, so much so that I've decided against a career change in my 40s.

Are we making too much of a big deal and being overly negative? Or are these doctors just being patronising? Anyone had an easy menopause?

Aren’t four enough for you? How many do you want?

It’s perfectly ok to say you didn’t have much in the way of menopause symptoms, as long as you don’t tell other people that means they won’t or they are exaggerating it. My mum says she just had the odd nice warm glow, so I’m praying for that to be my experience!!

People need to get the full information, some people will have awful problems, some will have various degrees of mild and some won't have any. Neither extreme should claim there is only one "menopause" when they are individual.

Well for me I didn't but of course they won't be problems everyone has. My biggest advantage was ending the hell of migraines, gone from two a month which laid me flat for two or three days and now I've probably had a couple in the last 10 years or more. I've always suffered from cold sores but they became much worse when I hit puberty and virtually stopped with the menopause. Digestive problems, bloating.

Hope that helps, I thought it might be a bit boring to list everything but as you asked. Just for clarification the blinding migraines were the worst thing, this thread has made me think back to how truly awful they were, not just the pain and I know people write migraines off as a headache but the vomiting, not being able to bear light or noise. Great fun with 4 kids.

Yes migraines can be terrible. My ex H used to suffer from them. I posted that sometimes they actually develop during menopause but for you it has been a great relief. I was hospitalised twice with suspected strokes when in fact it was hemiplegic migraines at the start of peri menopause.I still get a few tingles and numbness but at least now I know what causes it.

Feel free to add to the list.

Renewed energy
Mental calm and tranquility
Ceasing to give a fuck what anyone else thinks of you

I’m sure other post menopausal women will be along to add to it, although I suspect an infinite list won’t convince you.

That's lovely for you but sadly for many women it is quite the opposite. As has been said it's not a one size fits all. Sorry but I must have missed what I need "convincing" of ? I have made my decision based on my situation and am 100% happy and confident with that. I see on here women though who are very uncertain about their decision and it makes them- anxious? angry? uncertain? I'm not any of those. I certainly don't care what anyone else decides for themself . It doesn't preclude me though from discussing it and at no point have I said that women need to take it or should be forced to take it.

I see on here women though who are very uncertain about their decision and it makes them- anxious? angry?

I have questioned some statements as they were misleading and often repeated on these threads

but tbh the anger and derision seems to be from you

not sure why

Absolutely. Ironic, isn’t it that all the anger seems to be coming from women on HRT?

That's lovely for you but sadly for many women it is quite the opposite

Not post menopause. Most women experience those advantages when it’s all over and done with, whether or not they use HRT.

Really you two 😂😂

Funny isn’t it how we agree 😂

must be you

Absolutely. Ironic, isn’t it that all the anger seems to be coming from women on HRT?

HRT doesn't turn you into a zombie. It isn't ironic.

It gives you your energy back in order to battle the absolute nonsense spoken by fuckwits who want women to shut up and stop moaning about the lack of research and resources available to all women.

Who are these fuckwits? More irony.

'want women to shut up and stop moaning about the lack of research and resources available to all women.'

You want women to 'shut up and stop moaning'. Charming.

Nope, sorry I won't 'stop moaning' about the lack of research and i won't stop correcting people who say it protects against dementia, as has been said repeatedly that has not even nearly been proved.

Take it to help with the effects of low oestrogen, that is fine but folk like Davina should stop overegging the effects whilst minimising the risks.

The anger seems however to be directed towards people who have experienced different menopause- like somehow their experience devalues the experience of those who struggle

We need all stories not just the stories of those who need HRT - women need to know that their lifestyle matters , women need to know that many people will have no trouble at all as well as knowing how to get help if they need it

Why ? Because women who expect menopause to be bad will likely have worse symptoms. Because women need to know how their actions affect how they will feel, because industry needs to know that women don't automatically become a liability once they reach their 40 s. We should not be normalising women needing incontenance pants ffs , give women the tools to reduce their lifelong dependence on people making money out of them

No one is telling people to stop talking about symptoms

I think these threads are good for that

Some information has been questioned and corrected

Many agree we need more research

There is no anger re the above in any of this - just from responses from a few on here

Most def Agree we need more research and that should feed into best practse which needs to be understood by medical professionals and women , and the research needs to be not for profit funded

Disagree that all responses have been anger free - although it's hard to find a thread with no one getting angry and judgemental

Well I meant from me tbh ; I’m not anxious, scared or angry or whatever else has been suggested. I do prefer correct statements though as they can be misleading otherwise.

I only clocked anger from Eggroll as it was directed at my posts

I didn’t really focus on other people 😀

I think you always get those kind of reactions if you talk about having a 'good' experience of something others found hard - fairly or unfairly a lot of people read it as implying not that you had an objectively less difficult time but that you coped better with the same experience. Threads on positive experiences of childbirth or (even more so) breastfeeding, for instance, can get really vitriolic for the same reason.

I found these responses towards my attempts to set some basic facts straight rather abrupt and indeed angry (and also bonkers!):

Fine. Don’t take it. Your choice.

and

If you choose to believe outdated studies that have been shown to be flawed then fine. Nobody is forcing HRT on you.

As a very happy post-menopausal woman, no longer in almost constant vicious pain from endo, and no longer needing to pee every 35 seconds c/- pressure from fibroids , you would probably be surprised at what my treatment choice actually was, when going through the long years (for me) of perimenopause.

I wonder if women who had difficult periods feel more positive about menopause? I mean if you fall into no menopause symptoms or mild ones and you've had 30 odd years of period pain, PMT, migraines etc you might just feel it's well worth it.

My periods have never been an issue but one unexpected benefit I’m getting from peri menopause is being completely done with having dc. I thought I might feel sad but it’s made me ready for next stage in life which I’m glad about.

I’m not against HRT and would take it if I had more severe symptoms but atm the big things like sleep are v good, if that went and left me anxious etc I’d get it asap

I had terribly heavy periods. Like - stand up to get out of bed and before I stepped away from the bed my slippers were soaked in blood heavy.

In reality I should have loved the menopause. I never wanted kids. Never had kids. However the menopause crippled me. It came at 42. Over the next 7 years I got more and more hunched over, less and less sleep, and got greyer hair and my bones ached so bad I thought it must be some sort of bone disease. And it was. It was osteoporosis. I was a head gardener in a busy city farm, teaching and toiling away shifting soil in wheelbarrows, moving plants, doing 10,000 steps before coffee break every day. I had an allotment which I did at weekends. I ate organic food. And was super busy. But never slept. And just got weaker and weaker day by day.

This whole 'oh gosh I was so busy I never even noticed the menopause' fuckwittery is unbelievably distasteful for those of us who literally could not walk up the god damn stairs at the end of the day.

HRT saved me. Fine if you don't want it. I don't care but please for the love of women who do, stop with the wittering on with
'i do wonder if women ate more yams /were more busy/had heavier periods/had more to do/shut up a bit/ whatever whatever whatever they wouldn't have even felt the menopause'. Because we get it. You didn't have any symptoms. Good for you. I'm glad for you. But many of us have horrific symptoms. And don't want to be crippled for the next 40 years if we even live that long.

And we are fucking angry that we lost nearly a decade waiting for a fucking doctor to take us seriously.