Why did I feel like this? Feel stupid

[MintyGreenDream]

Work in a primary at lunchtime and very used to jokey children and have a tough skin generally.

Today a boy told me that I was "fit as owt and could he take me to the prom?"
On the way home I felt shaky,tearful almost as if I was in shock
Noone else seemed concerned about what was said but I suppose when you work with young children you don't expect it.
Do I need to get an absolute grip?
Not brave enough for AIBU.

It’s sweet.

Has something happened in the past that made you think you could get in trouble?

I often wonder what the point of these forums is. If you can’t post on an anonymous forum about possibly silly/odd/embarrassing stuff without getting shouted off then where can you. Op it sounds strange, I don’t want to pick at anything but it does sound a bit like fight or flight if you were shaking and I’m guessing it’s about a bit more than what you’re saying.

@MintyGreenDream I think people have been a bit cruel here. I work in secondary and have had 4 situations where students have been inappropriate with me, all year 10/11 boys and on one of those occasions I was crying after, not just from the students behaviour but from the lack of support from the staff I reported it to (and it was serious, I wasn’t being dramatic, it was sexual harassment). Just wondering whether that is why? As you said other staff weren’t bothered but I would expect that by year 6 a student knows that’s inappropriate to say to a member of staff (saying you’re pretty is completely different, but fit is definitely not appropriate to use towards a member of staff, it has more sexual connotations really). I would expect that someone would have a conversation with him about this, about boundaries with staff. Otherwise he could end up like the students i’ve dealt with who think it’s fine to talk to female members of staff in a really derogatory manner.

Sometimes something catches you off guard. You have a completely professional view of this child and he’s just spoken to you in a way you weren’t expecting.

I’ve been in situations at school where I have been caught off guard, and it can shake you up a bit.

Go easy on yourself and try to remember that he was just being cheeky and pushing boundaries!

It has definitely done that and probably worth unpicking so you can understand it and let it go. Even the most thick skinned are taken by surprise sometimes. You don't expect this sort of stuff from kids. You can give men a mouthful but a kid is alien territory.

Ignore the dickish posts. I firmly believe we've been invaded by MRAs.

God you've been given such a hard time OP. Do your best to ignore the people being so ignorant towards you in your request for help in unpicking this.

I work in primary. Some of the y6 boys look much older, taller than me, facial hair etc.

A pupil in y6 speaking to a member of staff in this way is totally in appropriate and he knows it.

I would have felt uncomfortable with it and if I'd been hormonal or over tired or dealing with an episode of mh issues I would have been shaky and teary too.

It doesn't sound like it was delivered in a malicious way (was it? What do you think) but that's not the point. You've been made to feel uncomfortable and you have a right to explore your feelings about it.

I agree with a PP who said breathe some air into it by informing someone an recording for safeguarding purpose. Never the mind the fact that if he's making adults feel this way, imagine how he might be making some of the girls feel.

I work with kids (albeit older than the one you're talking about) and sometimes the way they say something can just unnerve you. I'm thick skinned, I laugh and joke with kids all the time and I don't have a precious bone in my body but sometimes a comment, or the way it's delivered can just feel off.

Your rational mind knows there's nothing in it but on some level it has affected you and you know what? That's fucking ok. It's not like you wailed all over the kid or in front of him and demanded his parents attend school immediately to remove him! He did nothing wrong, but there's nothing wrong with recognising you've had a reaction to what happened - if a child had the same reaction to the same comment I'm sure you'd support them in working through it, or refer them to someone who would.

I'm not sure why you got the wanky responses either...

Me too. I’d be shaking too if someone said that to me, but probably with mirth.

Op posted for support and to maybe help unpick why she had such an extreme reaction (a reaction she didn't actively choose by the way) Nothing like women supporting women 🙄

The comment is irrelevant really, the thing you must focus on is what was triggered and why. Is this something you need to talk about or maybe get some help with? Unresolved issues? Or something like a safeguarding concern (even if unfounded) that comes more from gut feeling rather than anything concrete?