Not claiming benefits under my roof

[Whatdoyouthink23]

I'm just wondering people's thoughts on this .

So the person is 21 years old . He lives at home. He has complex autism He gets pip. Which his mum is appointee off.

I don't know her income. But I know she has a job and half the rent is paid by housing benefit she pays the other half of it.

As I said he gets pip. But its very hard for him to access the money. As she controls it all. my daughter ends up paying for him when they are out.

When it was mentioned that he wanted ti make a claim for UC . His mum went mad saying he's not claiming UC under her roof and if he did she would kick him out. He just wants to claim so he has some of his own money.

Yes I think he just turns up with his stuff. So dd ends up paying.

That really shows that he's got a poor understanding of money and social situations though, which makes it more likely that his explanations of his financial situation might not be quite right. If she's not happy to pay then she should tell him in advance. "I'm happy to go swimming with you on Tuesday, but I don't have the spare funds to sub you. If you arrive without money to get in, we won't be able to go in."

Same with the staying over situation (Are you his relatives? The staying over situation sounds a bit unusual.) "You can absolutely stay over from Friday to Sunday. Please bring x amount as your grocery contribution, or you won't be able to stay." If she follows through then these situations will happen less and less.

That's obviously a separate matter to any suspected financial abuse, which should be sorted out through social services.

so it’s down to PIP really

please don’t rely on them to alert the appropriate people to safeguarding concerns. I don’t know if anyone else has experience of them doing this but IME they’ll do nothing that doesn’t involve the actual benefit.

But then he has no money tk be able to buy a bag of food shopping because hus mum won't give him Any.

Dd ends up paying for him. Because she feels guilty. There's like 3/4 of them going swimming and he's standing there waiting to swim .

The criteria for being an appointee is actually very basic. I am my daughters appointee because she can’t deal with the paperwork and phone calls, that’s it. So this young man doesn’t actually have to have something drastically wrong for him to need an appointee - especially given that the appointee happens when transferring from DLA to PIP at age 16 - an age when a lot of young people need parents to help with things like this.

The PIP is for him to live on - not to give to his mum to fund her housing and lifestyle.

Little update. His mum has said she will put 60.00 onto his bank account each week to start with and see how he gos with it.

I have told dd now he has some of his own money. She should stop paying for him. As if she does he won't understand, when money has gone that he can't have things or do things he wants to.

Definitely a positive thing i think

That is a start …. But all the money is his! He should be given all of it, then sorting out board etc … and learning to manage himself or with actual help, not his mum thieving.

I know 😔. It's a very difficult situation. As others have pointed out . We don't want to unintentionally make things worse for him.

With the 60 pounds I did wounder if it would help if he had actual cash in his hand . So he can physically see what he's spending and what he has left . Its so easy to keep using contact less and not realise what your spending.

The minimum PIP payment is £61, so I'd be asking what his actual award is, each week.

I am appointee for my DD PIP payment. I get it paid into a seperate account which I manage, but if DD asks for money, I tx it.
I also transfer half of it to her account every week

OP your DD can and should support him to contact adult services with this as a safeguarding enquiry for potential financial misappropriation.

He lacks capacity to manage his money but his DWP appointee has been withholding any access to his money preventing him from a) buying food when out b) accessing hobbies (swimming) which he goes to with his friends.
You would have expected her to make allowances available to him for these already without others having to chase it.

The learning disability team are very experienced at this and will understand his needs and formalise a protection plan.

It's not just about withholding even a little access to a little bit of money, but mums attitude to her son, which is controlling- for eg calling him a thief for taking a packet of crisps?? His not feeling he can take any food from the cupboard in his own home as it's 'his mums '? Despite mum collecting all his benefits. Yeah all of that needs looking into and support that he's living his best life.

The maximum award for PIP and UC combined (without hb etc) is just over £1200 per month …. IF he was entitled to these amounts, that’s a huge amount his mum could be stealing from him. None of this is her money, absolutely none of it. It doesn’t matter how much you think he should be ‘allowed’ to keep, or how badly you think he’ll manage it - the whole award is his.

It's interesting and PIP is non means tested extra benefits to help with disability needs. So mum can justify using some of it for additional activities or support that he needs but not for living costs. It is likely it's a large weekly amount far in excess of the £60/ week she suddenly can 'find' for him.

It's outrageous that he cannot access or use any of that precisely for his disability needs- let alone be given none of his other income to buy food when he's out or staying at a friends house. No way should your DD have to buy his food as his mum is withholding access to his living costs income.

I suspect she is already claiming living costs means teated benefits for him (that UC would replace ) as she gets HB for him , so I suspect he gets ESA etc . That's why she doesn't want him to make a UC claim - as both of them can't claim for him. He essentially already has a claim and is in receipt of it but she is managing it on his behalf.

She should have a separate account she puts his money into and be able to evidence what it is spent on. That's his food in the cupboard too, it's just that mum uses his money as well as hers to buy it.

This is why it's a safeguarding of adult at risk, she's withholding his benefits such that he has no money to buy food, nor pay for activities, when he is not with her.

Please support him and look up local authority safeguarding referral process. It doesn't mean ultimately social workers will seek to remove DWP appointeeship from him - they get the subtleties of an over protective parent who can't loosen the reigns even a little bit- but likely discuss with her and him about mum adjusting how she has previously managed his money now he is more independent and goes out without her as his carer.

If she fails to develop and evolve or comply and continues to withhold or spend his money on herself, then they would report her to DWP and seek alternative person to become his appointee or deputy.

Reporting to DWP would not achieve this, they are a blunt instrument and would likely in first instance ask him if he is happy for mum to be his appointee. Without a SW that's a lot of pressure on him to make a difficult decision.

I'm a bit aghast at this thread tbh - more the reactions regarding this disabled young adult's DM and the assumptions that this woman lives some sort of Life of Riley, whilst 'financially abusing' her DS.

I'm sure you mean well OP, as does your DD, but truly, without speaking to this young man's DM yourself you can not possibly have the slightest idea really.

From his DM screaming at him over a packet of crisps (apparently) to suddenly giving him £60 pw (apparently) it just seems a bit over-dramatized; as many 'teens' tend to do.

It's very difficult for many people with disabilities to make friends and it's possible that this young man has found that he gets your DD's interest and yours, by saying things that increase this well-meant attention.

It's really lovely of your DD to be kind and include this young man in her activities - and I'd be delighted if she befriended my DS - but just be a little aware that not all is what it seems.

I get what your saying. But it could be said the other way as well. There are text messages etc as well saying similar to what I have explained. She also admited to lying about there not being a claim for pip.

I don't think its always a case that people with autism say things things that are not true . Or not as it seems. Although I 100% agree that can happen as well.

Anyway he is at least going to be getting some money. For him. Which was the main thing

Thanks for the update OP, I get what you're saying too; my comments were more directed at the many posters here who don't seem to get it at all.

My DS will be 21 in Oct, he has Autism, he gets PIP, he seems to meet 2 friends from his 'secondary ed' every few months, other than that, unless I'm sorting it, he doesn't give a fig about social relationships.

Hopefully, after a 'gap year' he goes back to College to complete his Btec.

Meanwhile, who is the 'cornerstone' that supports ds and has done so single-handedly for all of his life, who has willingly sacrificed everything to ensure that DS can even complete a Btec, go to College or even meet 2 friends sometimes?

It's great you're supporting this young man, but he didn't even get to the stage he's at if his DM didn't bother at all. I always supected that some people thought I was a bit of 'derelict', creaming it, because somehow I've managed when they probably couldn't.