DH had a dream and now he's worried it's true...

[RagzRebooted]

DH dreamed the other night that his ex from many (20 ish) years ago had a daughter that was his and he's never been told. He said it could actually be true, as they split quite suddenly (both had drink and drugs issues) with no further contact and she moved back to another country.
It made for an interesting conversation and we talked theoretically about how we would handle it. Obviously it would depend on what theoretical daughter wanted!

I told him to look his ex up on social media to put his mind at rest (DH tends towards paranoia!). Well, he found her profile and there's a photo of her and a girl who could be anywhere from 15-25 years old. Profile quite secure so can't see much else. I said if you're still worried then message her and tell her about your dream, she'll either laugh or tell you it's true...

Yeh he knows he's got a daughter

Does the girl look like him?

Yeah 'I had a dream' ... fcking Marin Luther King over there

I'm so with you on this. There's loads of posts on here about illicit dream-shags like Boris Johnson - personally I don't think it's any different?!

THIS /\ was my first thought too.

Or he has just manipulated you into suggesting he gets in contact with an old lover.

Is everyone on MN really insecure or am I just broken?

You’re not broken lol but we all have dreams about our partners friends or family even if we don’t find them attractive in real life - but we would never tell the person as that puts doubt in their head and may make them feel uncomfortable - no decent partner would want their partner feeling uncomfortable like that.

Add that with his ‘physic abilities’ of thinking he has a DD - he sounds like an absolute twat and I bet there is plenty more you’ve not said yet.

You know somethings not right which is why you started this thread.
I think your eyes are finally being opened and I think you should think about his other behaviours that aren’t normal.

Knowing mumsnet, I’m surprised the ‘is he paying enough maintenance for his dreamt daughter, poor mother having to pay for everything for the dreamt up daughter that may or may not exist, the girls mother didn’t have the chance to not dream up a daughter 🤣’ sorry but also cynical being on here.

🤣🤣 this actually made me laugh out loud 🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣this actually made me laugh out loud 🤣🤣🤣

He told you he dream he shagged your sister?
What on earth was he trying to achieve there? I'm all for sharing in a relationship but that's beyond my comfort levels.

Now he's dream he has a daughter? If it turns out to be true, are you not going to revisit dream number 1?

He ain’t psychic

Yeah, I reckon he already knew or at least had looked her up previously, saw the girl and it got him thinking.

DH has many, many faults but why would I be annoyed by his dreams?!

You're missing the point.

Nobody can control their dreams but if you dream about something that could upset your partner, you keep it to yourself!

What did he have to gain by telling you he slept with your sister in his dream? Nothing. But it could have made you upset and so it would have been kinder for him to say nothing.

I’ve had loads of dreams which have turned out to have a grain of truth about them.

Dreams about people I haven’t spoken to for a while and when I’ve got in touch with them have told me they’ve been going through an awful time.and then, in the cold light of day I’ve got in touch with them and they’ve been going through an awful time.

When I was due to go into hospital for open heart surgery I had a dream that I’d had the surgery, felt instantly better and that when I woke up all my family were there but when I reached out to them they couldn’t hear me. My interpretation of that was that I would die in surgery. I even told my DP that I wouldn’t be coming back. Then on the morning I went in for the surgery the surgeon came to see me to tell me he wouldn’t be doing the surgery as after looking at my scans he realised I wouldn’t survive it.

I had to go through different procedures then. i crashed and very nearly died anyway. Had a cardiac arrest and again, I died clinically but seems I came back. But the overriding realisation was that dream and the reality it could have meant.

Also, I imagine there are lots of men out there with children they never knew existed. It’s incredibly easy to walk away from a relationship in the early days of pregnancy, and if you never see the man again he would never know he had fathered a child.

Actually, I’m with OP. I would be fine with DH sharing either of these dreams with me, and would not suspect him of having a DD in real life. It’s just a dream. I’ve dreamt of far weirder. I get bored of dream-sharers, as dreams are usually only of interest to the dreamer in question, but maybe I’m naive - I’d never think someone would use a fake dream to tell me a dark secret. I don’t even think this is a dark secret anyway - it relates to something before OP and her DH met.

Dreams can freak you out.
When our DC were young I dreamed that DH had found some8else and was leaving me for her.
I woke in the early hours confused and upset and literally sobbed all over DH begging him not to go, he was bemused but lovely about it.
I also was once kept off school by my mum . Now my mum used to be a nurse and basically unless a limb was hanging off, or an internal organ was about to fall , you went to school.
Apparently I had a dream about my baby cousin passing away that was so upsetting to me that I cried for hours, shaking .
Dreams are weird shit 🤷‍♀️

Just to update, in case anyone wanted to know. The daughter is 14 so definitely not DH's! They had a catch up chat over messenger, talking about their kids. All is well!

I shall now give up on my hopes that DH will dream the lottery numbers.