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I’ve just been heckled on my run

92 replies

TeddyTed · 09/06/2022 19:02

I never get any comments when running outside normally, but for the first time (in my relatively sleepy town) I heard a very witty teenager shout to me about my weight as I was on my route. I ignored them of course, and actually it spurred me on to do a longer run than I planned (trying to see the positives), but now I feel a bit low. Can you help me feel a bit better about it at all?

OP posts:
Toohottt · 10/06/2022 08:32

Great line… 🤣
did she think we were peasants who happened to live within the grounds of her stately home?

Ive lost count of the times men have heckled me. (Especially when younger!) If you’re having a bad day it can feel pretty horrible. It all contributes to women feeling unsafe and men being powerful abd that’s the bit I absolutely HATE.

i liked someone’s response is ‘maybe you should run with me?’

Johnnysgirl · 10/06/2022 08:37

I've had it from cars, vans, buses, a police car, men in the street, passers by in shopping centres
A police car? Dear God.

Bollindger · 10/06/2022 08:38

Someone is jealous that you Can run and do exercise.
Hold your head high and know to be proud your doing something.
I have a friend who just looks people in the eyes and says "Did you mean to be so rude!" The other person always blushes or runs away.

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riesenrad · 10/06/2022 09:02

I think I am lucky about the area I live in, as this has rarely happened, except for comments from white van man which I fortunately can't understand usually!

However, I was once helping to coach a session with my running club and a couple of teenagers made sexually abusive comments to me. Completely pathetic, I was old enough to be their mother. I've never been without my phone since - had I had it with me, I would have called the police (mind you, given the Sarah Everard case, they might have joined in, though my local force isn't the Met).

To add a bit of balance, my DH has received comments too but of course men just get a bit irritated, they don't feel threatened like we do. I think some people just don't like seeing other people exercising as it makes them feel inadequate.

This was why it was so bad to ban people from exercising with other people during the first lockdown (in England, and at other times in other parts of the UK) as it had a disproportionate effect on women (as ever). It's also why I am such a big parkrun fan as it gives women a safe space to run.

Don't let it put you off though, there are safe routes you can find. Or find an outdoor fitness class where you will do some running and strength and conditioning work and have fun and safety in numbers.

UnfinishedUsernam · 10/06/2022 09:04

Johnnysgirl · 10/06/2022 08:37

I've had it from cars, vans, buses, a police car, men in the street, passers by in shopping centres
A police car? Dear God.

I was on a night out with my friend who is slim. We were making our way to the bus stop as we were going home and a police van with 2 male officers was parked up (a regular sight in Stockport Town centre). As we passed the officer in the drivers side got our attention and said to me "Excuse me luv, have you ever heard of Slim Fast?" We just walked on. I heard the other officer laugh and say "That was dead tight that..." I was devastated but waited until I was home before crying. I was only 17.

SickSadWorId · 10/06/2022 09:14

I wear headphones with my music LOUD. If someone heckles me I can't hear 👍🏻

letsnotdothat · 10/06/2022 09:23

Sorry you experienced this. I always have my music on loud when I’m running so I can’t hear anything or anyone at all, I only reduce the volume if I’m off a main road somewhere more secluded.

I was heckled last year by a group of young men in a car when I was just walking down the street with my baby and toddler. They shouted fat arse at me and I was extremely upset. I’m no longer overweight but have experienced a lot of rude people when I’m running, I honestly think they’re jealous that you’re actually moving and they can’t be bothered.

FetchezLaVache · 10/06/2022 09:31

Just to give an opposite perspective...

Years ago, when out running I realised I was heading towards a group of teenage lads at the end of a snicket, with no way of avoiding them other than stopping in my tracks and going back the way I came. I steeled myself for the inevitable comments - and was told I was making a really good pace and entreated to keep it up! It was like that ridiculous Snickers advert in which the men on a building site shouted affirmative feminist comments at passing women.

Zazdar · 10/06/2022 09:48

To add a bit of balance, my DH has received comments too but of course men just get a bit irritated, they don't feel threatened like we do.

An overweight colleague of mine went out for a run at lunchtime and got “Fat C*” shouted at him by a passenger in a white van. He was quite upset by it. He’s a big man too. Over six feet tall.

LindaEllen · 10/06/2022 09:49

I was running once and a lad yelled who ate all the pies fatty? at me. At the time, I was underweight with an eating disorder and an obsession with exercise.

People are cruel.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 10/06/2022 09:58

I'd just ignore them.

This was one reason I didn't want to run for ages as my local park has lots of cars using the roads around it.

xsquared · 10/06/2022 10:10

This is another reason why I run 6:30am in the morning or with my running buddy late in the evening.

I don't get any comments other than of encouragement from other runners or sometimes dog walkers attract time of the day.

If I go during the day, it's usually men in vans yelling "hup, two, three, four!" or more recently "I can run faster than you!" by a teen in a group.

I believe it is to do with putting others down because they feel inadequate at not exercising themselves.

PatchworkElmer · 10/06/2022 10:14

<touch wood> I’ve never been heckled. Yet. But I do run very early in the morning, so I wonder if that helps.

xsquared · 10/06/2022 10:16

It really does @PatchworkElmer .

Fireblanket · 10/06/2022 10:16

I'm really lucky to live where I do as I don't get any of these kinds of comments (I once had a couple of teenagers try to run alongside me, but they soon gave up - no stamina!).
I'm not sure I would continue running if I knew I would be subjected to this kind of harassment, so kudo to all of you who do so - you rock!

powershowerforanhour · 10/06/2022 13:05

"dont think this is specifically an issue of men abusing women. i run a lot and i also occasionally get stupid comments from teenagers, and adults come to think of it, or car drivers that feel the need to honk their horns at you and cheer. this is not a male / female thing, this is just degenerates being idiots to both males and females alike. The degenerates in question are almost all male though tobe fair."

Yes, the degenerates are idiots to both males and females, but not alike. There is a certain base level of comment/ abuse that both get- I've had "Run, Forrest, run!" shouted at me, as I'm sure you have. "You fat fuck" seems to be common to both, although I suspect more commonly directed at women.

But...have you ever had a young teenage boy run up behind you while you're on your cool down and grab your genitals Batdad? Have you had men drive past doing the wanking hand, licking tongue blowjob gesture? Has anyone roared "Wanna fuck?" or "Gis a blowjob?" across the street at you? Has a man ever sniggered "I'd rape that or " I wouldn't even rape that" to his friend as you ran past?

Zazdar · 10/06/2022 13:37

Have you had men drive past doing the wanking hand,

Not in the UK but I’ve had worse than that. Something in his hand.

It put me off running in that particular country for years. I restarted last year and have not had any incidents or comments since.

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