What to leave on a memorial bench

[Horological]

It is the anniversary of a friend's death tomorrow. We organised to install a bench in her favourite spot. I'm going to visit the bench tomorrow and would like to leave something. She wasn't a very flowery type of person though and I don't like the sight of decaying flowers, or wrinkled balloons. Any ideas?

Decorate a rock and leave it. The next person to come takes your rock and leaves their own in its place and so on

Just take a photo. These shrine benches are a bit tacky.

As somebody that manages public open space including a number of memorial benches, I spend a lot of time cleaning up plastic flower wrappings blowing about, cutting ribbons off benches, cleaning up wet and soggy cards.

The best thing somebody leaves is a willow cross or heart that they weave foliage into. Everything else is just damaging to the environment and puts others off using the bench.

Maybe arrange some beach pebbles in a heart shape on the beach.

Honestly, isn't the memorial bench enough? I genuinely don't understand the need to "leave something" on it.

We chalk the concrete below, just a heart and today's date. Rain washes it away. for you and your friend.

Painted stones with messages on seem to be popular at some benches by me, a photo to send to her mum would be my preferred option though

Please please don't leave anything. I live somewhere where there are loads of memorial benches and they are just tacky shrines with rubbish around them. The whole point of a bench is that it's somewhere to sit, not that it's covered in so many bits of plastic that people feel like they're intruding on someone else's tragedy if they rest their bum.

Take a photo, hook a daisy chain over the arm.

Is the ground suitable to plant some bulbs or scatter wild flower seeds?

Some stencils, paint spray cans and do a Banksy sketch. Bench will be with $40m and friend will be immortalised.

Thanks so much for all the ideas!

Depending on where the bench is how about scattering poppy seeds around it /wildflowers

I like the idea of chalk message and heart if it is set in concrete

A photo of you all around it /sitting on it raising a glass of fizz or whatever your dear friend liked

If you thought her Mum would like it how about a brief memory video montage eg each person sits on it , raises glass (or not) and says something eg the thing I loved most about X was her smile/ was her laugh or a funny story or anything they want to share and then you could put them all together and email to mum ?

I quite like the idea of bird seed, depending on location. Or is it somewhere you can plant wildflowers underneath? I hate seeing decaying cellophane-wrapped flowers as memorials as they just seem wasteful and sad

I was going to suggest bird seed or maybe a bird feeder, one of the coconut ones hanging on a tree if there are any nearby.

There is no earth around the bench. It's set in concrete in a London park. I think bird seed would attract pigeons, which wouldn't be a good idea.

I think a photo/video of us sitting on the bench with a glass of fizz is a great idea, then we can share it with her mum, and others. A chalk heart/message on the ground in front is also a very good idea but I am worried about there being park byelaws against it.

Sorry for the loss of your friend

But I am not sure I understand why you need to leave something? Your friend has passed and wont know if you’ve left it. A picture on the bench will be fine for her mother. Nothing else needed but some moments thinking about friend surely?

We have a memory bench for my parents , and usually buy ourselves a sandwich from M & S and go and have lunch with Mum and Dad
An icecream or a coffee works well too
Luckily , we’ve not yet had to give a hard stare to someone sitting on our bench

Don't leave flowers or a balloon , they just look sad a couple of days later , personally I dislike the decorated stones too

Just sit there , take a photo of the bench for her Mum and remember her

Take nothing.

Sorry for your loss @Horological. You sound like a lovely group of friends. If people are visiting at different times, t sounds like a great idea to have everyone take their own photo of themselves on the beach and then for one of you to put them all together as a collage or short video. This might be something you can treasure as well as your friend's mum. I can't imagine anyone would have a problem with chalk on the ground either.

I have always wanted to put my parents story up by putting a Q R code or something on their bench so passers by could find out more. No idea how to do it though!

That actually sounds lovely. No idea either, though.

There's a company based in Dorset that does this:
QR Memories

Thanks