I'm an idiot and I forgot the INSET day

[GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut]

No harm done, DD delighted to go to her DGM instead of school, but I'm feeling really odd about it. Not sure why, could so with talking it through with someone if anyone has time?

I had it on the calendar, I'd even mentioned to DM a few weeks ago that if DP was working then could she have DD.

But then I forgot. Poor DD was all done up in her uniform, we walked to school, deathly quiet. I still didn't remember. There was a maintenance person who told me it was an INSET day. So we walked home and called DP who came back and picked her up, and dropped her to DM.

She wasn't upset at all, I was in a flap as needed to start work (wfh), but all OK really. But I've been feeling on the edge of tears all day.

I don't know if it's because I'm embarrassed and worried the school staff / other parents will think I'm an idiot (that awful embarrassed like when you fall over as a teen in front of the whole school, what if I'm always the mum who forgot school was closed?)

Or if it's just that I have to remember every bloody thing always, DP could just as easily have seen it on the calendar and noticed, but I don't suppose that will enter his head, it'll be 'my fault' if it's anyone's.

Or is it that I thought I was going OK, I really struggle with being organised. I have to have so many strategies, and then I fuck up massively, completely oblivious, and it's poor DD that is affected.

I just feel upset out of all proportion and if I talk to anyone in real life they'll laugh (kindly) but I can't see the funny side right now.

I did the opposite, I was convinced that today was an inset day when it wasn't. Lovely relaxing early morning and then all hell broke loose sorting breakfast and racing to school 😅Luckily dd(14) only missed part of the first lesson which was PE anyway so no serious harm done. I doubt I'll ever live it down though 🙄

The only time we've ever really overslept for school and had a mad rush to get ready in time we ran into the yard to find it was a training day.
If that wasn't bad enough I hadn't picked up my keys so we were locked out. Our house was a terrace and had a shared entry way at the back and I had to climb on a bin to get over three neighbours gates and get to our back door which was thankfully unlocked. I got covered in anti vandal paint and ripped my jeans and DD and DS1 were crying thinking I was going to be arrested for being a burglar!

A Mum once brought her child to school and left her toddler behind too by mistake. He had created havoc by the time she rushed back for him but we all laughed.

You won't be the first to come in on an INSET day and you won't be the last.

One of the SLT at our local secondary had to bring her child to work with her one day. She'd delivered him to his primary school in another area, only to find it was an inset day there. She'd completely forgotten.
He spent the morning in her office until she could get something organised for him.

It happens - I did it myself when DS was in Reception (although we only got as far as the front door before he piped up with 'But why did Miss say "See you on Tuesday" if there's school today?') and a primary teacher friend reassured me that at least a couple of confused parents with kids turn up every single Inset day at her school. I also very nearly did it the other way round at the end of a Christmas holiday in about Y3, when I wrongly informed DS and his friend on the Sunday evening that they had no school the next day, and then double-checked and had to deal with two lots of tears 😳

It sounds as if you're carrying the entire mental load yourself, though, and that's exhausting. We're the same - I have to remember everyone's appointments and homework and exam dates, and all the birthdays in DH's (huge) family, otherwise it just Does Not Get Done. I get 'Have we bought a Mother's day card for my mum?' (yes, 'we' have...) but then Mother's Day rolls around and I get a hastily hand-scribbled home-made card and no present because 'we' didn't step in and organise one, and it's blooming upsetting sometimes! It sounds as if you need to strike more of a balance, but also as if you're very much like me and will find it hard to let go of being in charge of it all.

I'm sure this happens every time! I doubt the person will even have mentioned it. There are always confused messages on the class WhatsApp and people have said they turned up to find school shut.

Aww, don't beat yourself up over this, it's so easily done especially when you have a million other things on your mind!

When I was at primary school, my mum got me up, washed, fed, uniform on, took me to school and was utterly baffled to find it was all locked up with no sign of even the caretaker. She was certain the clocks were showing the right time. Puzzled, she took me home and it was some time later she realised it was a Sunday.

You are by no means the first parent to do this and definitely won't be anything like the last!

I'm a primary teacher. It happens loads, don't worry about it.

The best thing I EVER did was set my calendar as the largest part of my home screen on my phone. It shows the whole month. I religiously put everything in and is just states me in the face, and I have alarms set. It has so totally, radically changed my organisation and my life is so much calmer as a result!

I have done so much stuff like these over the years, everybody has!

The one that made me laugh was one morning a text was Sent from school; 'did anyone bring a dog this morning because we seem to have one tied to the playground fence' I could just imagine someone getting home from the school run and thinking 'where's the dog?.......OMG!!'

I've done it before. And forgotten all sorts, swimming kits, money for bake sale etc. It happens.

I remember when I was having a really tough time when my ex left and my Dad had just died, I forgot a non uniform day and I just broke down in tears at the gate. School were so lovely and let me take him home and change him and bring him back a bit late. They know parents are busy too.

This happens to everyone at some point doesn't it? I certainly remember turning up at school to find out it was a "Baker Day" (as they were called back then) and I've definately turned up at school with the sprog to find out we could have had a lie in!

the time I properly forgot an inset day and pitched up at the school there were two other families looking puzzled, and I bet a handful more had driven by and realised before they got out of their cars.

this time round I knew DC2 had an inset day today, but only clocked tomorrow's one a few days ago, so H and I will be tag-teaming part WFH part in the office while DC2 enjoys a full day of telly.

Ah bless you, your not alone. Most parents have forgotten a inset/ mufti/ decking world book day. It's all part of the journey of parenting.

You possibly feel teary because of the insane pressure we put upon ourselves to try to be perfect mums. Its actually good for the kids to see people making mistakes as they are a completely normal aspect of life

I didn't know it was an inset day today until DD mentioned it a few days ago. Luckily she is 14 but it did mean I checked both schools' websites to be sure!

I have to have a big family calendar right by my desk and put everything on it immediately. Then at tea time I read off the list for the next day for everyone and do highlights for the week.

I still managed to miss a parents evening although in my defence I tried to book an appointment and couldn't and then completely forgot about it.

DD also had a surprise vaccination a few months ago. I'd filled in the consent form and somehow not noticed the follow up email with dates.

It happens to most of us at some point. This is the only time parent WhatsApp groups are useful as there's usually someone equally confused on there to make you feel better.

Your DD will have had a lovely bonus day off so don't beat yourself up about it!

My husband did this very thing today and walked home with another parent with a child in the same class who'd done it. Imagine how many other parents don't walk in this direction or drove up and realised before walking to the school gates. I did it twice when I was in charge of school runs and there were often other parents who'd done the same. It's really common and not such a big deal.

I forgot non uniform day when I was working at my DD's school (it wasn't a whole school one in my defence so didn't apply to me!) DH popped in with her clothes and she was fine but it took a while for me to live it down!

I managed to forget my newborn at older child’s nursery having put his car seat down while I helped DS1 to take his coat off. I got as far as the car before thinking… I’m sure I’m missing something!

The owner met me at the door chortling 🤭

Pretty sure the pilot episode of Motherland covers this! It's funny because the audience can relate!

It sounds like youve got a lot on, so things easily gets missed. And it also sounds like your dh doesnt consider himself an equal parent, so that does need to be addressed. it could be missed adhd. Many adult women are undiagnosed. id start with the conversation with your dh about taking some responsibility.

dh and I have an iphone synced calendar as well as the paper one on the kitchen wall. But still some things get missed. These things happen.

Me too. I had him all ready in uniform and off we went, only to find it deserted.
Feel like a first class idiot!

Only last week I forgot about half term. Teenage dd was not best pleased at me waking her up at 7.

I hope this makes you smile, but my DP, the teacher, turned up at his school this morning. Wasn't even an inset. Was just another day holiday. He felt like a right muppet! He wasted his last night going to bed early to get up for 5am today so he could be in school for 6am.
Worst thing is that these rare days off where my kids are at school, I am on a day off and he is also off happen maybe once a year at best. Sometimes not at all! I'd normally book the kids in to wraparound and plan a day for us! In the end we just settled for a day of board games whilst he yawned thanks to his early start!
Tit!!! Maybe next year, eh?! 🤷‍♀️🙈

Don't worry about it. I've made the mistake the other way - thought there was an inset day but there wasn't so DC missed a day at school.

I also remember making a huge song-and-dance to my (ginger) PFB DS's reception TA about how he must be reminded to put on his sunscreen at lunchtime, and it must be his special roll-on hypoallergenic SPF50 sunscreen that's in his bag with his name on it, because he was allergic to every other sunscreen, and then getting home and finding the effing sunscreen sitting on the table. I had to go all the way back with it very sheepishly, but nobody batted an eyelid.

I told the wrong child it was an inset day.
DD was surprised.
DS said it wasn’t. I insisted it was.

I checked their school websites about 11pm last night and had to tell them this morning.