Questioning about the online forum

[GMuller]

All

I write on behalf of my publicly known and multi-significant client for whom I am personal aide.

As you might expect, my client has a very busy schedule but usually works in cycles. During our social events she often talks affectionately about her past love of online forums from before she found fame.

On our recent travels my client asked me to find a suitable online forum for her to join and so we are currently in the research stage.

I have several questions about Mumsnet:

1. My client enjoys high social status in daily life and still would need certain amount in any potential online forum. The ability to integrate quickly but take the spotlight is important to her.
2. Topics and Discussion Topics. There are a number of headings in this online forum. My client would be receptive to many of these. Films and TV seems to be popular. Are there any others?
3. Is anonymous messaging possible in this online forum? Remember that my client is a public figure and to be unidentified during internet use is a high priority.
4. Geographical Location. From time to time my client will be on travel in different continents. What is the off-peak activity?
5. Finally a key consideration is that my client wants to be entertained when she participates in an online forum. She talks lovingly of the time at an evening dinner speech where she quoted from an online forum, to great applause.

I must clarify that this online forum is not shortlisted yet, but with enough forthcoming information it may become a candidate.

With that in mind, I would be grateful for your assistance in this matter.

Sincerely

G.Müller

Dear OP

Please bear in mind this forum always interviews prospective members and your client may not be accepted.

Dear Mr Muller,

Or should that be "Your Eminence"?en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerhard_Ludwig_M%C3%BCller

I would respectfully suggest that your client, who is indeed well-known and internationally significant, might fit in better on a less-sweary forum.

She talks lovingly of the time at an evening dinner speech where she quoted from an online forum, to great applause

I'm so going to try this in the work canteen next week. Can't wait to receive my great applause 🤣

Good Afternoon Mr Muller

Unfortunately anonymous posting is not encouraged. We all give our full name, DOB and address during our introduction and first post in 'Creative Writing' topic.

If your high profile client is happy with that then we can get started!

I have no advice but just wanted to say how much I love your yoghurts.

Madam/Sir, I would advise your client that in order to retain their high social status, whilst simultaneously remaining anonymous, I should make an introduction with a suitably catchy username, and then to regularly remind other posters of their fame in real life. That should do the trick. Good luck!

P. S. I hope your client is not adverse to the odd peppering of fucks and cunts.

Tell Rebekah that we already get threads leaked to the tabloids. She might want to try elsewhere.

my client has a very busy schedule but usually works in cycles
Don't know any famous spin instructors.

Are there any celebrity washing machines?🤔

It can't be Dot Cotton RIP

What is this even about 🤣

'All'

😂

@GMuller Your client can use any name for this forum, may I be the first to suggest ''ChannellingDotCotton''.

Agreed but ditch the rice pudding desserts they're rank.

All I said was 'has anyone got a light' and suddenly I found myself here.

Hi OP - you'll be wanting Mumsnet V.I.P - it's a concierge service we offer ultra high net worth MNers. You get your own personal moderator and a golden mug, plus exclusive use of the Mumsnet van*.

*van use subject to availability

tee hee Becky

Wait a minute, I've never been offered Mumsnet V.I.P before?

As you can see, Mr Muller, I'm a fellow multi-significant client and I must say, Mumsnet are not the forum to trust. I cannot even start to comprehend how they overlooked the fact that I do not belong down here. I hadn't even seen this van being mentioned before.

Stay well clear of Mumsnet. I'll be de-registering shortly. Their loss.

Utterly confused but following avidly

S'not fair...I want a golden mug and a ride in the MN van! 😭

😁I would add to the above spooner corner.

You can't have the van, I've block-booked it for the summer. Also, the gold on the mug washes off under hot running water.

@GMuller
I'm sure that your client will receive a warm welcome here on Mumsnet, should she pass the initiation tests.

We set great store by User Names here, as they protect the individual's anonymity, but witty, humorous names are preferred, though your client might think it fun to include a small hint as to their status, such as HRH or Duchess for example.

Further to your query about The Spotlight there is the availability of membership of the exclusive Mumsnet Royalty group, whose members are guaranteed popular support for their posts on AIBU, lack of criticism for their posts on Style & Beauty threads, whole hearted endorsement of their opinions on Chat threads.

Before you make your decision to apply for the Initiation Programme, please note that there are some basic rules for Mumsnet membership, these include but are not limited to...
Never end a post with xxx.
Never call another member "hun".
Always check spelling and grammar before you post as you WILL be informed of any errors.

We look forward to further communication from you, meanwhile a couple of tips to help your client get into Mumsnet mood... Drink plenty of gin, always eat massive salads.

We thought we'd been clear when we said that after that last time, you are never allowed the van again. 🚐