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Original poster

If you have one or two children- how did you know you were done?

57 replies

imsoscared2022 · 03/06/2022 13:20

I always thought I'd want more than 2. When my first was born I only wanted her but then realised she may need a sibling because she has no cousins etc. My second pregnancy made me really Broody and want more kids as it resulted in miscarriage. Third pregnancy got a DD but I'm exhausted and feel like I'm done. I don't want to go through it all again. How did you decide you were done with one or two?

OP posts:

AppleandRhubarbTart · 03/06/2022 17:07

Potplant · 03/06/2022 13:31

Maybe a bit different as I had twins, but, before I’d left the hospital. My pg wasn’t even that bad but I knew I wasn’t going to do it again. 6 months of no sleep later and exH concurred and had the snip.

I always said if could have given birth to a potty trained, sleeps through the night 3 year old I might have considered it.

I don't have twins, but same.

Pickingmyselfup · 03/06/2022 18:03

I knew I was done at 2, especially when he turned a year and I was emotional because I knew I wasn't going to do it again.

I find parenting incredibly difficult, it's like having 2 tornadoes around me constantly leaving a path of destruction. It's getting a bit better now they are approaching 5 and 7 but it's still exhausting. The thought of adding in an extra responsibility fills me with dread and I couldn't be doing with pregnancy again.

Even if I was a multi millionaire with a surrogate and a live in nanny I would still say no. I am completely 100% done and would love to get sterilised but the NHS won't do it and I'm not paying privately when I'm not against being on contraception.

skyeisthelimit · 03/06/2022 18:23

I was 36 when I had DD and it was a difficult pregnancy, I was sick all the way through, and had severe SPD so could barely walk, and was under a consultant. The labour was back to back, the epidural stopped working, the midwife was not nice to me.

The Consultant advised me not to have any more and I happily agreed with him as I never wanted to go through pregnancy or childbirth ever again!

DD has no cousins on one side, and much older cousins on the other, but I just made sure that she had lots of playdates with neighbours kids etc and she did clubs after school so that I could work, so she was not often lonely.

(She now has a half sibling through her father but only sees her a couple of times a year due to his very sporadic contact).

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BakewellGin1 · 03/06/2022 19:00

I was told by the consultant if I was to have a third it would have to be a carefully managed pregnancy and c section rather then delivering naturally (I say naturally the fact mine were so un natural is the reason I can't face a third).

Finances also play a huge part. I was rich, could go privately for healthcare and had a bigger house I may have thought more about it.

Realistically I'm 38, had my second and will be approx 53 before he is 18.

Holly60 · 03/06/2022 20:03

Imsittinginthekitchensink · 03/06/2022 14:53

For many reasons I knew one was enough. I had ante and post natal depression; I'm not as maternal as I thought I was; sleep deprivation nearly killed me; my then husband did not take easily to fatherhood; i hate my sibling and didn't want to put DD through the misery of having one; i was bored shitless on maternity leave and wanted to go back to work; I can afford to give one a wonderful life but not a second too; I didn't want a boy.

Awww, why didn't you want a boy??? They are so scrummy....

Thinkbiglittleone · 03/06/2022 20:21

I always said if I had any I would have 2.

It took us a little longer to get our DS, I did think afterwards I think we will go again, seen lots of 2 sibling families in the park and started to get broody but then another family member fell pregnant and I actually thought "I'm bloody glad it's not me" which I didn't expect to feel, so I knew.

We are all so happy with one. He was/is such a good boy, i love my life just as is, we just know its the best decision. I feel utterly blessed to have a DC and that DC, to be him.

PrincessSpanky · 03/06/2022 20:34

If my youngest was a calm natured as my oldest. I would most likely have had a 3rd. But there is no way I want another, it's been hard. He's loud, annoying and had enough tantrums when younger to last me a lifetime. I am completely done at 2.

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