Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

MIL and FIL snooping

58 replies

Lalarooroo · 01/06/2022 07:59

Need some advice. My MIL and FIL have looked after our daughter for 2 days this weekend whilst myself and my husband went on a weekend away.
When I came home I discovered my 2 year olds toenails painted in a polish that isn’t her childrens one that I bought her. I didn’t even know I owned any polish, so had a check through my old makeup bags that are put away in my en-suite…. I found 1 bottle of the same polish that my daughter had on her toes! In the same bags I have personal medication, other private things I would only want my husband to see etc!!

My daughter also went to a cupboard in our front room (I have told the PIL that she isn’t to go in here - as we have not child friendly furniture) and opened a cupboard door and said chocolate. Basically I keep chocolates and Easter eggs etc that I want to hide, so she doesn’t eat too much chocolate. Anyway, she has never opened these cupboards or had any interest in doing so and I asked her who showed her them and she said ‘grandpa’.

am I being unreasonable? I totally understand that they would be using the family bathroom and kitchen, but going through personal things in my en-suite and through cupboards that even my husband doesn’t look in in the front room is just odd!
I asked my husband to ask if they’d painted my daughters nails - they said yes, but with a child friendly polish (Rimmel is not child friendly) and his dad said that he had painted them, but my MIL had given it to him!!!

I feel like texting them and telling them they they aren’t welcome if they continue to do this, but my husband doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with their behaviour and thinks I’m just picking on them because I don’t like them. I don’t like them because of their behaviour!!!

help!!!

OP posts:
saraclara · 01/06/2022 12:34

How were they to know that the cupboard was out of bounds to DD?

And seriously, there is no way to look after a child (in the child's home) for a whole weekend without needing to occasionally look for stuff. Expecting the GPs never to open a cupboard or drawer is ridiculous.

The toiletry bag I'd be a bit miffed about, but there's no way of knowing that it was your nail polish and not GM's that was used. And yes, just put personal stuff away if you have someone (anyone) staying in your house.

LakeTiticaca · 01/06/2022 12:55

Maybe they shouldn't have rooted through your personal stuff ( if that's what actually happened) but your being a bit precious over the chocolate cupboard!!

Wouldyabeguilty · 01/06/2022 12:56

Ohhh cop on! The child has her own nail polish so obviously asked for her toes to be done, MIL went looking for some and found it. Your daughter WENT to a cupboard that her grandad had opened (probably helping his wife look for nail polish) and she saw easter eggs, not ate them, made a mess with them...she just SAW them.

You are entitled and ungrateful. Looking after a 2 year old for a full weekend is bloody hard and they were probably looking for ways to entertain her. Sounds like they did a great job. The NECK of you getting annoyed.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
zlister · 01/06/2022 13:08

You are entitled and ungrateful. Looking after a 2 year old for a full weekend is bloody hard and they were probably looking for ways to entertain her. Sounds like they did a great job. The NECK of you getting annoyed.

I can only assume there's a lot of grandparents here who feel targeted, but come onnnn. She hasn't even said anything to them. Plus, if she never let the grandparents look after her child (so as not to appear entitled and ungrateful) it's also a problem.

I personally wouldn't be bothered about the chocolate, but people act like a grandparent looking after their child is martyrdom or something. I'm guessing they want to do it too. (How wonderful they're doing it for free - spending time with their grandchild - it's not even a case where it's a weekly thing😂)

Wouldyabeguilty · 01/06/2022 13:15

zlister · 01/06/2022 13:08

You are entitled and ungrateful. Looking after a 2 year old for a full weekend is bloody hard and they were probably looking for ways to entertain her. Sounds like they did a great job. The NECK of you getting annoyed.

I can only assume there's a lot of grandparents here who feel targeted, but come onnnn. She hasn't even said anything to them. Plus, if she never let the grandparents look after her child (so as not to appear entitled and ungrateful) it's also a problem.

I personally wouldn't be bothered about the chocolate, but people act like a grandparent looking after their child is martyrdom or something. I'm guessing they want to do it too. (How wonderful they're doing it for free - spending time with their grandchild - it's not even a case where it's a weekly thing😂)

She wants to say something though...so she is being massively unreasonable and ungrateful, wanting to tell them they are not welcome??? After they do her the courtesy of minding her toddler while she goes away for a weekend?

I feel like texting them and telling them they they aren’t welcome if they continue to do this, but my husband doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with their behaviour and thinks I’m just picking on them because I don’t like them. I don’t like them because of their behaviour

KosherDill · 01/06/2022 13:25

saraclara · 01/06/2022 12:34

How were they to know that the cupboard was out of bounds to DD?

And seriously, there is no way to look after a child (in the child's home) for a whole weekend without needing to occasionally look for stuff. Expecting the GPs never to open a cupboard or drawer is ridiculous.

The toiletry bag I'd be a bit miffed about, but there's no way of knowing that it was your nail polish and not GM's that was used. And yes, just put personal stuff away if you have someone (anyone) staying in your house.

I'm sure the OP wasn't in Antarctica. If granny needed nail varnish she could have texted an inquiry. Or distracted the child with a different activity.

There's zero excuse for rifling another's bedroom & bathroom storage.

Babysitting is not a blank check to any and all behaviour.

watcherintherye · 01/06/2022 13:46

Desperatelyworried23 · 01/06/2022 08:35

I'm surprised no one thinks Grampa painting two years old nails is odd?

I can't imagine any two year old asking for painted toe mails? What. Strange occupation when you think of all the ways to entraine anywo year old

Why can’t you imagine any two year old asking for painted toenails? If you’d read the op, it clearly states:

When I came home I discovered my 2 year olds toenails painted in a polish that isn’t her childrens one that I bought her.

The op’s dd has had her toenails painted before, obviously. Children like to copy grown-ups or older children, and I can quite see how she might ask grandparents to do that as a fun thing. They probably had no idea where any varnish was kept, so had to look in likely places like the en-suite.

saraclara · 01/06/2022 14:15

She hasn't even said anything to them.

@Wouldyabeguilty this is from the OP.

I asked my husband to ask if they’d painted my daughters nails - they said yes, but with a child friendly polish (Rimmel is not child friendly) and his dad said that he had painted them, but my MIL had given it to him!!!

A call to ask if they'd painted her nails (who else would have done it FFS?). They clearly felt they had to justify it, and were put on the defensive. It couldn't be clearer that they know that they're being criticised for it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread