Neighbour let herself in, would you say something?

[Zippidy123]

I have a lovely elderly neighbour. I've been giving her lots of lifts over the last month to various medical appointments.

I'm full of cold today and have stayed in bed watching TV. I just heard a knock at the door, decided to ignore it as I'm not expecting visitors and none of my friends would turn up unannounced. 2 minutes later I hear 'hello!" Being called up the bloody stairs! When I didn't answer she tried the door and let herself in!

Now the moral of the story is to always lock the door after you've let the cat out but would you say something or let it go? She's lovely but I do find her a bit much sometimes. She clocks when I'm in work, will comment on my comings and goings, she also likes to tell me when I look tired or pale or like I've lost weight (I don't ever loose weight!). I'm not sure how to put the boundaries back without upsetting her which I'd hate to do.

Yeah just lock your door in future OP. I hope you feel better soon!

My husband tells me off about this. You can't leave your door unlocked, people literally stake houses of single women out. Don't leave your door unlocked, ever, even for a second.

I can go inside my neighbour's house like that, and she can mine, because that's been established, but if it's not been established then no, it's not acceptable.

She's already overstepping the mark with you, and it would make me uneasy to be under surveillance in my own home, which is how she would make me feel.

Easy solution though really is to lock your door.

I would hate this so much but she was trying to do a nice thing so I wouldn't say anything. I'd just make sure the door was locked in future.

You can't imagine that there are doors that aren't the same as yours? Really?

You can't possibly not have seen an extrnal door that needs a key to lock it, that can't be true

Some people are OK with others coming in their house by themselves, some aren't but luckily an easy thing to control by means of the door lock. I wouldn't say anything OP, just be more careful in future

No I wouldn’t say anything.

she’s of a generation when people did that much more, and I think she’d be terribly upset for no gain.

just lock the door in future

Everyone I know has a door that locks automatically. I thought all doors are like this. All my neighbours, my parents, friends, my siblings. It seems completely weird that any other sort of external door that doesn’t automatically lock is even allowed.

There are doors that don't lock as soon as you shut them....I have one.

Let's just say, the few who tried it recieved such a frigid and short reception they never repeated their embarrassing mistake.

She could have taken the flowers home & tried again later.

Or was she planning to root around & find & vase??

Well if it can all be solved by locking the door I guess that's an easy answer.

My mother does this, and I find it invasive. To be fair to her, she would have no problems if I did it to her. I don’t mind if I’m expecting her, but not when she just pops by on the offchance. I keep my doors locked!

I would keep your doors locked (and get a cat flap). I wouldn’t say anything. If it’s been the done thing for them, they think you’re rude or weird, and that wouldn’t help anyone.

They’re for eejits like me who don’t live with another adult and lock themselves out at the drop of a hat. Yale locks drive me insane, I either lock myself out or leave the key in the flipping lock.

This.

Me and my neighbour know each other well and let ourselves into each other’s house with a cheer y ‘ hello’ if the door is unlocked.

This was perhaps quite common in her life with neighbours you know well. She wasn’t being rude and you can easily stop it by keeping your door locked.

It seems completely weird that any other sort of external door that doesn’t automatically lock is even allowed

You're having a laugh @SundayTeatime 😁yyy

Millions of people have normal front doors with handles that you need a key to lock, why the hell would that not be allowed, that's crazy 😂

That's quite a leap!

Just because someone doesn't answer their door if their at home doesn't equal that they've fallen down the stairs or had any sort of accident. It does mean that they don't want to answer their door to visitors though. She could have left the flowers by the door and sent you a message or left a note with the flowers.

I would have a word with her and maybe deliver the message that @YellowLemonshade suggested but maybe with a slight (and I mean a slight) edge to the tone so that she is aware that she overstepped here.

a door that automatically locks is a normal front door. It’s the only sort I’ve ever known. But I’ll take it as said that there are other sorts that don’t automatically lock. It’s not something I’ve ever made a study of - it just seems a bit lax security-wise to me. That’s why I thought insurance companies and the like wouldn’t allow them.

a door that automatically locks is a normal front door

to you. Not to me and many others. Even my new composite door needs a key to lock it.
Saves me locking myself out.

Noone I know has an automatically locking door. Id say having a door you need to physically lock is far more common

Why would you ever leave your door unlocked? 😱Does the cat let itself back in?

No, the Yale lock (automatically locking) is the most common type in the UK. They are very common and normal. That’s what I have, and everyone else I know has.

The weird thing to me is that she actually tried the door when nobody answered. I’d never do that. But I can understand that the neighbour might be from a generation and neighbourhood that did leave their doors unlocked and go in and out of each other’s houses.

This has got nothing to do with age! My mum is sitting next to me and she's in her late 80s. I've just asked her and she said she wouldn't dream of ever doing this and your neighbour is rude.

I think @YellowLemonshade's response is perfect though if you think she'd be upset.

Boundaries are for everyone. Even the elderly.

The neighbour might be from that generation but that doesn't mean that the OP is.
The OP could have been having sex, a shower, a mid afternoon siesta, dusting the house in the nude, whatever. It doesn't mean that the OP wanted to open the door to anyone and it wasn't up to the neighbour to walk into the house.

Oh we live in the countryside literally everyone does this knock try door say gello i wouldnt think anything of it

I think I would just leave it and lock the door. It would probably really upset her.

It's unlikely to happen again. Don't say anything but make sure you lock your doors