'I'm associated with health care'

[PestoPasghetti]

If you were at a party and, in making small talk with a randomer, asked them what they did for a living, and they came out with this before instantly changing the subject, what would you think that'd mean?

Is it boring to ask someone what they do? I thought it a good way to find out if you're got a connection that you could base a conversation on, if not a possible friendship! I love talking about what I do (nannying) because I love my job. It must be horrible to have a career you dislike to the point of cringing if you have to talk about it.

I enjoy my job. It's boring to talk about and none of my friends do anything remotely similar and I don't have much in common with the people I do work with.

I don't cringe at all, but am more likely to say healthcare as that is where the common ground is likely to be than to say exactly what I do as that's when the eyes glaze over. It is vanishingly unlikely that I will bump into someone from my own industry at a party but I do sometimes find a link through previous jobs, customers, suppliers etc. And people who are healthcare professionals (I'm not) are often interested.

I don't think I have ever been asked what my father does but as he worked for a big multinational I might mention it if I meet someone else that works for them.

I work for the NHS. People have either never heard of my role OR they, their relative /best friend has been seen in our service or is in our far too long waiting list.

Sells Aloe Vera supplements, I shouldn't wonder.

People who inflate their job titles tend not to be shy about holding forth, so the subject-change is odd.

She is a healthcare professional.That’s what carers are, healthcare professionals.

As for finding out where you are in the financial/societal pecking order, I get asked an absurd amount what my FATHER does for a living!! I don't see what that has to do with anything, but it's clearly a thing a person is judged on!
Presumably they are people that already know you are a nanny and are trying to figure out if you're good enough to look after little Benjamima. Try telling them you're dad's in prison, or holds some lowly position and see what happens then.

@HappilyHadesBound no, but I developed my evasion techniques with advice from a social worker friend.

IANAL but i work for a Team of legal consultants that advise on stuff connected with parking tickets and speed limits. I will never admit this in a social situation, but yes, I do know what many of the loopholes are that can get you off being done for speeding, and how to challenge a parking ticket.

the ONLY advice I ever give is: ‘see that round sign with the big number on it… don’t drive faster than that.. and those yellow stripey things on the road … ermm yeah. Don’t park there.

Possibly being vague to stop having people sneer at them (care/support workers are valuable jobs many don’t appreciate how relied of they are) or don’t want to be asked what do you think this could be

or work in sales

i manage a mh unit but word it differently as people have very strong opinions on nhs management (which I mostly agree with) they can’t seem to separate the levels of management

They could do anything and just don't want to be asked about it? I'm a pregnant midwife and always get 'how lovely!' 'such an amazing job!' 'oh you must love delivering all those babies' 'such a magical thing to do!' or 'ohhh you must know exactly what you' re getting yourself into!' currently because I'm pregnant.

The sad thing is that I'm a risk manager, investigate baby deaths and generally when things go wrong, and no longer work clinically so just have to sort of nod with a strained grin.

Might use this' associated with healthcare' as a good tip, 😂

Carers perform an important role but they’re not healthcare professionals.

@USaYwHatNow your job sounds very interesting. I can understand why you might not want to get into it at parties but I think people would be fascinated to hear more, I know I would be, although if you said you were a midwife I would assume that meant delivering babies.

i used to HATE the what do you do for a living question. I am a retired Occupational Therapist. I found most people didn't know what that was and those who thought they did either said "oh massage" or "oh basketry and stuffed toys" I am quite capable of giving the full half hour lecture in what it actually is, but people's eyes glaze over and TBH I don't want to. In those circs I would have done the same thing. Its not being closed off its "oh god another idiot can they find nothing better to witter about"

I'm a police officer and when strangers ask what my job is I say Customer service. Because if I say police officer the conversation then becomes soooo boring. Have you ever arrested anyone is always the first question. I'm more than my job. I have lots of other interests. The last thing I want to do is make small talk about my job. My specialist subject field I work in is complex and upsetting for many and not suitable for small talk.

'I work in health care' sounds like someone politely saying that they don't want to talk about work so please change the subject.

Are you sure your her FRIEND @TeeBee ? You sound very patronising.
She most definitely is a healthcare professional.

I’d agree big pharma. As ex pharma person you get cagey talking about it to randoms. People have some very negative view on pharma Industry despite their bathroom cabinet contents and visit to GPs insisting on antibiotics or whatever medication they think they need.
hey ho 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yeah I have a friend who described herself as a ' healthcare professional'. She visits elderly people and gives them washes and changes their beds.

But that is a health care professional isn't it? (Assuming she's doing it as a job, and not just visiting random elderly people who don't need a wash or their bed changed?)

I don't think it's boring to ask but I disagree with you that the people being vague dislike theirs jobs so much or cringe at the thought of telling people.

I have a vet friend who loves her job but is vague because she doesn't want to spend her socialising time giving pet advise or listening to peoples pet anecdotes all evening.

Some people are in jobs they don't like though, or in jobs that they know some people in society look down on, like the pp who mocked a care worker calling herself a health care professional because it's just visiting the elderly and washing them. My mother and sister did that job and they treat their clients with a lot more respect and with a more professional attitude than their doctors sometimes. My sister now works in a mental health facility caring for residents and she's vague about it because people ask questions about the patients.

But yes, sometimes some people find themselves stuck in jobs they dislike or are embarrassed about because of other things going on in their life like health problems or caring for disabled/chronically sick children or parents and can feel inferior or looked down on when someone with a higher status job asks then what they do.

So I don't think someone is cagey or a dick if they are vague sometimes. If they don't give you much info I'd just take it as a sign they don't want to spend their social time talking about work and ask another ice breaker question if you're trying to find common ground to form a friendship.

For what is worth I now use the question “what keeps you busy?” Now instead of the do you work, what do you do for a living….it is so much broader and opens up questions to stuff other than work ..avoids issues if people don’t have an external “living” etc.
I also heard that in some countries (but can’t find the link) that the question on what do you do is more like saying “what are your passions” which seems a good one as well - but maybe a bit too emotive for us brits as opening gambit.

Yes it is boring I think, and if you ever look up how to have better conversations you’ll find the advice is to avoid it.

I work in the media and really like my job, but when I am out socialising with, I want to talk about other things. And if I am ever in the mode of rattling on about work - I am aware it’s boring for other people so I stop myself.

There are a million topics to talk about and it’s a good idea to have different interests in life, so you can be an interesting person for yourself and others.

“God knows but I would think they were a dick”

^This

“Me too. I can't stand cagey people. I'm quite open and I don't have time for people who are closed off. They make me uneasy.”

^And this

It's the 'associated' bit that's odd. I'd say they worked in pharma.

Or a medical researcher?

Gp receptionist and didn't want abuse? Could be in pharmaceutical or equipment sales perhaps. Bit pompous of an answer though

care/support workers - not wanting to be looked down on.

GP/consulant or even a nurse who works in a sexual health service (wife of DH friend was one and kept that quiet)- not wanting to be asking inapporiate questions at a party.

Or research scientist or big pharma - DH did a stint in medical modeling while at a university research post funded by a big well known charity but was told to be quiet about it as despite fact ideally and possibly eventually his type of modeling could lead to a reduction or even possibly an end to animal research - a lot of the needed data came from such research and even their science conference based on biological modeling were targetd by animal rights activists and there were cases of them targeting reserachers and their families.

@SoggyPoppadom Try actually being the disabled person and having lost an entire career you were passionate about and now unable to work! Now that's embarrassing