Stayed up past my bedtime to read all this to see if ds’s party featured. It could fit a couple of descriptions.
for context DH and I met when we worked for a catering company, 3 weddings a week for 100’s type deal. Obviously there were lots of staff but by the time a 5 year olds birthday came along we weren’t daunted. Found a hall, figured we’d do cold food and an entertainer.
a lovely and loved relative somehow got the wrong end of rhe stick and called me to explain there’s no way I could entertain 5 year olds. I had no experience doing that, you needed training and special skills (she was frantic, as if I said I was going to do a heart transplant on thr kitchen table between DH and the dog). I said a million times I was only doing food, I would hire an entertainer. 25 calls later she begs to let her do it instead of me, she’s an nursery nurse but will age it up. Ok, fine, please stop fucking calling.
so day of the party rolls round my mum has Ds while we set up. People start arriving, ds some 30mins late (no idea why). Relative won’t start till ds arrives despite me begging, also she’s wearing a dress and high heels and has nothing with her.
parents have stayed, which is fine, so they start playing in the hall with their kids cause there’s bugger all else happening. While I’m on the phone to dm finding out what’s happening relative gives a row to a mother for playing with her own kid too loudly or some shit. Dh can barely cope with the tension ds turns up and some sort game is started. I’m called into the street by dm who has a boot full of m and s food as relative has called to say I haven’t catered.
at the point I am actually contemplating just getting in my car and leaving, started a new life somewhere else.
anyway party games are basically a gym class from 1993, port starboard etc. I call them for food, once the kids are at the tables I strategically plonk plates in front of them, veggies, halal, allergies all catered for without anyone noticing (cause I know how to do that). relative and dm are now in cahoots, Jenna doesn’t have a cheese sandwich! Jenna is allergic to dairy she has jam! Sam hasn’t got a pinwheel. Pinwheels are pork, Sams family don’t eat pork. I’ve spoken to Irises dad and he says it’s just the mother that veggie so I’m going to give her a pizza slice, fuck off that’s not irises dad and iris isn’t the veggie and we’re on to pudding now anyway.
they cut the cake while I was out the room with dh, put tiny tiny bit in party bags abs flung the rest in the bin. When I was handing out party bags relative kept saying for goodness sake phlewf theses people have places to be or not everyone wants to stand and talk to you! At this point I went to the toilet and cried. If you were at the party with the crazy entertainer in formal wear and a mother who was twitching with rage, I’m sorry, hope you didn’t travel far.
this is a long post because it’s never been mentioned again, never. Every part since has been completely uneventful. I can still Chuck sandwiches and 30 kids without a huge issue. And relative has calmed down a lot. Think they were going through somethIng.