What's the worst kids party you've been to

[T181]

Please give me some examples of the worst kids party you've been to?? Im hosting one on Sunday for 25 children and actually am so worried about it I need some real life stories to calm my nerves

You don’t have the responsibility for a load of children, you have barely any responsibility for your own child cos they’re being entertained by what’s going on at the party. Perfect time to drink.

I went to a 4th birthday party 2 years ago which was 3 local mums who had got together to split the cost amongst their boys who had birthdays the same week. Maybe 50 kids in total. They’d booked a sports hall for a ‘games’ party. Turns out the games were being organised by a couple of local teenagers, who had thought to put on things like rounders, which of course none of the tiny kids could do. They quickly gave up and just… left.

There were no toys or play equipment, so the kids were just roaming around an echoey hall. That particular hall does offer all bouncy castles and soft play etc for party packages, but they clearly hadn’t been booked for this party so were all packed away, but visible to the kids who kept trying to bust out the balls and games to play with and were told off for doing so.

There was one balloon with a dinosaur on. This had multiple small kids trying to play with it, but the kid’s grandma came and told them off saying ‘that’s thomas’s birthday balloon, we need to keep it nice for his real party later’. Then she took it away.

My son kept asking when the ‘real’ party was going to start.

No snacks or drinks for grownups, not even water.

All 3 mums I also know are minted, so the idea that they’d split the cost 3 ways and still hosted such a meagre affair was so mean. I’d bought the kid a really nice gift and reflected after the cost of the gift was probably close to what his mum had spent on the whole blessed party.

I love your post @WiddlinDiddlin, and your mum sounds freakin' awesome. I also remember parties from my youth, and I know DD remembers hers. I think allthegoodusernameshavegone is just a miserable sod. A few posters have called out this post, but you did it best

Not my worst party generally but I bought DS an Iron man Piñata for his 5th birthday. He's quite a gentle child though and befriended this giant "doll" and carried him round for most of the party, talking to him and showing him the sights.
He then burst into horrified tears when a fellow guest enlightened him about Iron man's true purpose in life and started trying to get the sweets from inside.
I had to perform discrete surgery on him in another room, extract the sweets then stick him back together.

You don’t have the responsibility for a load of children, you have barely any responsibility for your own child cos they’re being entertained by what’s going on at the party. Perfect time to drink.
It's a kids party, they'll be held early afternoon at best; usually over lunchtime. How is this the perfect time to get sozzled?
Bringing your kids home at 3/4pm after lorrying into the "lots of wine and beer" doesn't sound particularly enticing to me.

You don’t have the responsibility for a load of children, you have barely any responsibility for your own child cos they’re being entertained by what’s going on at the party. Perfect time to drink

Errmm @ShirleyPhallus who do you think is responsible for the guest children if their parents don't stay??

@FoggySpecs I've just booked a swimming party for my soon to be 9 year old and now I'm bricking it. I also have a 6 year old son who wants to invite some friends. All children under 8 have to have a parent in with them....
It's a giant inflatable assault course in the pool. They all have to wear life jackets.
I'm now terrified.
The worst party I've been to (so far) was my own child's. I booked the village hall, forgot about music, and the bouncy castle didn't turn up because I'd forgotten to pay the deposit. I was nearly at nervous breakdown level but the kids were quite happy running round, hitting each other with balloons and doing those knee skids across the floor.

I think your party sounds very nice.

The hardest thing about hosting a kid’s party is that the children who probably should have their parent stay (because they have some additional needs or are just not easy for whatever reason) will be dropped off and the parent will run away. The other parents will hover when there is no real need to. I remember one dad whose son was quite a bit older than most telling me he was going to go and said “But could you just keep an eye on him?”. Yes - along with several four year olds whose parents had left with me.

The worst party wasn’t actually bad, it was just much too long for preschoolers (4 hours).

Re booze. If the party is somewhere that you would expect people to drive, there’s not much point serving booze. If it is in the centre of a city then offering a beer or two might be a good idea. Booze is expected at the children’s parties near me - I hosted at one venue where it was banned and I was incredibly apologetic.

One where the hosts Mum had got drunk before everyone arrived and abused the parents for not eating enough of the food she'd prepared. Was really awkward as she wasn't even a 'funny' drunk.
Apart from that they're all pretty awful.

My neice went to a birthday party once which involved being taken, wi the Birthday gilr and one friend to Primark by the Birthday girls mum. She gave them each £5 and told them they could buy whatever they wanted and then they went to the post office and then mcDonalds.
My neice said it was the best party ever.

When my son was about 7 he was invited the a party of a girl who lives a round the corner. They're not really friends but all the neighbour kids were there. I also had my 3 year old with me. They had a bouncy castle in the front garden and a table of food set outside. There were a few adults, family members of the birthday girl, there and so I chatted to my neighbour for a few minutes and then she went inside with everyone else. A couple of minutes later I was ready to bring my 3 year old home and I realised that I was the only adult outside watching the kids. Everyone else was upstairs, drinking, I assume. I texted my neighbour to say I was leaving and took my kids home. I wasn't prepared to be a mug and watch everyone elses kids.

@gabsdot45 that mother is a literal genius.

My friend used to have parties for her kids when they were young that were 90% adults and loads of booze. Honestly they were just weird. Kids running about unsupervised and adults drinking (lots with no kids) and they weren’t relaxing or enjoyable because of the kids.

I’ve nominated this thread for classics!

Really, how hard is it to not drink alcohol for a few hours in the daytime when having responsibility for a load of young children? Indeed. Immediately afterwards, on the other hand...!

@FoggySpecs Oh my goodness. Definitely not what I was expecting to read on this thread 😢

Ooh I’ve remembered one from my childhood. It must have been my 9th or 10th birthday because my Mum wasn’t around any more. One of the kids tripped and cut her head on our concrete steps. My Dad being a typical stiff upper lip type said not to fuss and bandaged it up.

However another of my friends had taken it upon herself to phone an ambulance from my house phone; the ambulance arrived shortly after, along with the police as she had presumably given them a bit of a story about what was going on at the party 😆

We always put a freddo under each layer and then a bigger present for the child who got to the last layer and won. God I'm glad my kids are too old for parties now, what a fucking palaver they were.

My favourite so far 😂

It was my own when I was 9. I invited all my friends round, we sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for the party food at which point my mum said she'd forgotten to get the food in. We all thought she was joking, but no she wasn't. I don't remember what happened after that, I just remember it was absolutely mortifying. My mum was 'eccentric'.

Wow never thought it would get this many replies! just wanted to say my son had a great party everything went down really well. Even the whole food situ!
Dont know why I was so panicky they also left happy with sweet/toys party bags and cake. Thank you for entertaining me for the last few days with all your stories I've a large glass of wine infront of me now!

I got grief from a parent for doing pass the parcel. I’d made up 3/4 parcels, sweets in the layers, toy in the middle. Apparently I should have done 15 parcels for each child and each one should have won. Bollocks.

How weird. Even your 3/4 parcels are weird, tbh. Why?! What's wrong with one?

That’s absolutely horrific. I feel so sad just thinking about it

We haven't really been to any truly awful parties, however the worst I can remember was probably when I was 5 or 6. My parents thought having a lovely party at a local zoo in March would be a wonderful idea. They piled the car up with kids (in the 70s), thinking the zoo were charging per car, (as was common at another local zoo at the time) then had a shock when they had to pay per head. Being March the weather was near Arctic, the animals were hiding in their shelters and it was raining sideways by the time we sat at the picnic bench to eat. One kid had a wobbly tooth, which fell out in his drink. The whole event must have been quite a traumatic experience for my parents.
I have only been to that zoo once since, on DSs school trip, when it also poured with rain while we ate lunch and the water cascaded off the parasols onto us.
We stopped having parties not long after that.
My own DCs parties have involved a month of crazy planning and preparation in advance but have generally been well received. The only scary moment was DSs bestie at the time (aged 3) running straight into my parents' pond during a treasure hunt and being stood waist deep in water. Fortunately my parents had an extensive stash of spare clothes for the grandchildren and once changed, the little chap happily joined in again. Thankfully we can all laugh about it now.

I'd say check for allergies in advance and keep telephone numbers of parents if older kids are being left.
Have plenty of choice of nibbles or something simple like hot dogs or pizza, as kids never eat all the sandwiches. You can always have extra things in the background to top up with if it looks like there isn't enough (crisps, mini rolls, mini cheddars, boxes of raisins etc. - things still wrapped and could be used for picnics or packed lunches later). If the party is around lunchtime expect the adults to be hungry, any other time they'll probably be happy with teas and coffees and a few nibbles or biscuits. If you don't have much room or don't want your house to get trashed, book a local hall or soft play. Sometimes the simple ideas are the best. We had a Nerf gun party in a local scout hut one year (kids old enough to leave), they didn't want the food as they were enjoying themselves too much.

I like the sound of her! Mind you I once thought it was a good idea to put copies of Hakluyt in party bags for six year olds (I don’t do that any more).

I’m glad your party went well OP!