Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Best tips for beating depression/anxiety with out medication

29 replies

changinglanes1 · 27/05/2022 10:02

Hello!

I was hoping you lovely MNetters would have some tips and suggestions that have actually worked for you in beating mild depression/anxiety. I don't want medication of the GP as I hate the feeling of them. I am going to quit alcohol as that leaves me feeling shocking for around a week after - not that I drink that often anyway ( about once very three weeks)

At the moment I feel completely disconnected from my body and my anxiety is pretty bad so any grounding, tips or any advice on how to push past this and start enjoying life again would be lovely.

Thank you

OP posts:
bare · 27/05/2022 10:23

This thread had lots of good ideas:

If you can't take antidepressants what do you do? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4511391-If-you-cant-take-antidepressants-what-do-you-do

KylieCharlene · 27/05/2022 10:27

Seriously take a look at Paul David- 'At last a life'.
He promises nothing and it's an honest account of how he beat his own anxiety.

I can honestly say it really helped me

Rayray18 · 27/05/2022 10:27

Delete social media!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

AnotherCrazyBirdLady · 27/05/2022 11:28

Yes, ditch the booze, that's a great start, also, caffeine. I have two cups of tea in the morning, and chamomile all day after that - about 4 cups of that really, really helps. Spending time in nature helps alleviate the gloominess for a while, so make sure you do it as often as you can. Also, Yoga really helps me, even the very simple poses - while you're breathing deeply and concentrating on your body, it's easier to feel lighter in yourself, plus it helps sleep, which is also a great help. I hope the fog lifts for you soon.

shebuildsquickmachines · 27/05/2022 11:28

Rayray18 · 27/05/2022 10:27

Delete social media!

Yep !

And exercise if this is possible

Lottapianos · 27/05/2022 11:31

Psychotherapy. There is a reason, maybe many reasons, why you are feeling this way. Cutting out booze, exercise, routine etc are all brilliant but professional support to explore the root of your feelings will be invaluable. Everything else is just managing the symptoms

You can find NHS support by Googling IAPT in your local area. If private is an option for you, search for BACP in your area and search for a therapist

changinglanes1 · 27/05/2022 11:33

bare · 27/05/2022 10:23

This thread had lots of good ideas:

If you can't take antidepressants what do you do? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4511391-If-you-cant-take-antidepressants-what-do-you-do

Thank you I will have a look

OP posts:
CrotchetyQuaver · 27/05/2022 11:33

As much time outside as you can. Connect with nature by growing plants of some kind. Think about those men who came back from 2 world wars and grew veg on their allotments. I think it was a way of coping in very different times when mental health issues were seen as a weakness.

changinglanes1 · 27/05/2022 11:34

KylieCharlene · 27/05/2022 10:27

Seriously take a look at Paul David- 'At last a life'.
He promises nothing and it's an honest account of how he beat his own anxiety.

I can honestly say it really helped me

Thank you I will order it x

OP posts:
changinglanes1 · 27/05/2022 11:35

Rayray18 · 27/05/2022 10:27

Delete social media!

Yes I ive noticed I am avoiding 'life' by plugged in too much

OP posts:
Winterhail · 27/05/2022 11:35

I would start by looking at your diet.

This might give you some ideas.

www.verywellmind.com/foods-for-depression-4156403

changinglanes1 · 27/05/2022 11:36

AnotherCrazyBirdLady · 27/05/2022 11:28

Yes, ditch the booze, that's a great start, also, caffeine. I have two cups of tea in the morning, and chamomile all day after that - about 4 cups of that really, really helps. Spending time in nature helps alleviate the gloominess for a while, so make sure you do it as often as you can. Also, Yoga really helps me, even the very simple poses - while you're breathing deeply and concentrating on your body, it's easier to feel lighter in yourself, plus it helps sleep, which is also a great help. I hope the fog lifts for you soon.

Yes, I am just so tired all the time, like drained and just want to get on the coach when I finish work or have a day off which isn't great for the kids

OP posts:
changinglanes1 · 27/05/2022 11:37

Winterhail · 27/05/2022 11:35

I would start by looking at your diet.

This might give you some ideas.

www.verywellmind.com/foods-for-depression-4156403

Diet is not great, ive been on a milk shake diet. But it is something ive been thinking about as in 'can I cure myself with real food' and not the shite ive been eating

OP posts:
MrOllivander · 27/05/2022 11:38

Exercise, of any sort really helps me

Sova · 27/05/2022 11:39

cbt- self refer to Iapt
also if a specific problem, look up some charities that might help
exercise
behavoural activation, doing pleasurable things, connecting with people, speaking to friends
increasing support network, finding support groups eg ‘peer talk’, ‘Andy’s man club’ for men
relaxation exercises, check ‘ progressive muscle relaxation’ on YouTube or stress control website
mindfulness, eg headspace app, meditation classes
dancing eg Zumba, listening to music
hobbies, using Meetup website to join some groups
gradual exposure to feared situations eg if you’re anxious in social situations start with texting, then audio chats, then video then meeting 1 person in a quiet cafe, then build up to next steps
u could check gg self help website and cci worry website for useful resources www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Worry-and-Rumination
hope that helps!

ehb102 · 27/05/2022 11:40

Cut out difficult people even if they are your parent/sibling/in-law/whatever.

changinglanes1 · 27/05/2022 11:40

Lottapianos · 27/05/2022 11:31

Psychotherapy. There is a reason, maybe many reasons, why you are feeling this way. Cutting out booze, exercise, routine etc are all brilliant but professional support to explore the root of your feelings will be invaluable. Everything else is just managing the symptoms

You can find NHS support by Googling IAPT in your local area. If private is an option for you, search for BACP in your area and search for a therapist

Ive tried it but they always want to go back to my childhood - which wasn't great. I feel like I need to move on now as opening a can of worms just makes me worse.

I split with my dh at the start of lockdown, work stresses and having the kids full time has really took it out of me. I know I can be happy its just out of my reach!

OP posts:
changinglanes1 · 27/05/2022 11:40

Thank you all for replying

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 27/05/2022 13:03

'Ive tried it but they always want to go back to my childhood - which wasn't great'

Like I say, there are reasons why you are feeling depressed and anxious. Psychotherapy can often make you feel 'worse' because it involves confronting the pain that you try so hard to keep hidden in order to get through the day. It's a hard process no doubt, but the peace and freedom it brings is really something

rnsaslkih · 27/05/2022 15:39

Quit alcohol
quit caffeine
sleep enough
exercise, but also ensure you go somewhere green - fields, forests,
do not allow people to take advantage of you

Winterhail · 27/05/2022 15:43

changinglanes1 · 27/05/2022 11:37

Diet is not great, ive been on a milk shake diet. But it is something ive been thinking about as in 'can I cure myself with real food' and not the shite ive been eating

I'm sure you can make a real difference to your state of mind by eating well. Let me know if you need any ideas. Good luck.

FrownedUpon · 27/05/2022 16:00

The Guardian has had quite a few articles about anxiety this week which are worth a read. I found the one about breathing exercises useful. Also agree with exercise outdoors & being in nature.

Bakedpotatoesfortea · 27/05/2022 16:02

Without therapy or counselling (which are well worth it if you can afford it and have time to) the big things are routine, exercise, diet, and finding tasks which you find therapeutic. Some people find cleaning relaxes them, others it's cooking, others see both as stressful chores but get a lot out of journaling, or skin care, or art or playing a musical instrument. It really is so personal, for me trying out some new hobbies really helped me. It kind of became my therapeutic activity in itself, spending a little bit of time just playing around with what I did or didn't enjoy, in the way that we often don't let ourselves as adults feeling the need for everything to be about earning money, personal development, home improvements etc. Actually spending some time just doing things for the sake of it has been really helpful to me. I think that's why things like adult colouring books have taken off in recent years because it is a throwback to Childhood, can be really relaxing and isn't a goal driven activity, it's an end in itself. The same with diamond painting, jigsaws, crosswords, crochet, nano block models etc.

I also think that social support is so, so important. A lot of the time what we think is anxiety and depression is actually feeling disconnected from the people around us. A problem that has become even more prevalent due to Covid, home working, etc. And before that the rise of the nuclear family over multigenerational living (and also more communal work environment being replaced due to technological advances). So spending more time with people really in any way can improve your anxiety and depression (yes some people are more introverted but very few people are true introverts, if you are on the introverted side then just increasing your social world a tiny bit can help without threatening your comfort zone too much). If you are more extroverted then this is especially true of course. Do you have any hobbies or interests you could expand? Could you volunteer for a few hours? Are you working and engaging others through that? Could you expand that, or get a second job? Could you do something with your children's school or any other places in the community eg. Church, community centre etc. Could you meet up with friends or family a little more, or even just arrange a call or video call? Do you have anyone you can reach out to IRL or over social media?

When we connect with others, when we are in a dark place, sometimes they have a light to share and we are no longer in darkness, sometimes they have the same darkness so we are not alone in the darkness, sometimes by helping them out of the darkness we realise that there was a Light within us all along and it helps us overcome the darkness within us. Sitting alone in the dark place is the worst place to be. We are communal animals we are not meant to Be alone with our problems.

ivykaty44 · 27/05/2022 16:34

exercise of any type

it alters your brain, releasing chemicals that help

carefullycourageous · 27/05/2022 16:45

Talking therapy + not drinking + exercise + meaning in life + good diet + sleep + craft + not having anything out of your control fuck up too badly.