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Friend who always wants a place to stay in London

55 replies

JanisMoplin · 24/05/2022 19:40

Deliberately putting this in Chat because I am hoping for not excessively dramatic replies:) Long term friend, we went to uni together and have remained friends through thick and a lot of thin. I live in London in a very small flat with DH, DS and DD ( who is at uni most of the time). Friend lives in another country but has recently begun travelling through London often for work, like every few months. She obviously did not visit in the pandemic.

The last year has been quite tough for us with various family problems. DS is currently doing his A level exams. Dh and I both working from home with stressful jobs. I told my friend quite frankly when the pandemic eased that it would be very inconvenient for both her and me to stay with us. For instance, we are all early risers and she likes to sleep till noon. She is allergic or dislikes the smell of certain foods that we eat or cook. DH's loud Zoom calls are often audible through the walls. She agreed and all was well. She stayed in a hotel last few times. I took her out for several nice meals.

But lately she has begun hinting that London hotel rates are very high. She is visiting again this week. I feel pressured to offer her an ( uncomfortable bed) but DS has his exams going on. I don't even have a proper spare room. Am I being mean?. Generally, I never stay with friends any more because I think post pandemic, everyone wfh and I will get in their way. I fork out for an AirBnB.

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 25/05/2022 08:27

I recently stayed a night in a Z hotel. £240 (we paid an extra £20 to have a window 🥴) for a coffin sized room which was so claustrophobic and had the toilet and shower beside the bed in a glass cubicle! Dh and I were in stitches about the lack of privacy and space in general, there was only space for one of us to be off the bed at one time unless the other was in the bathroom, we had to take it in turns to get dressed 😂
anyway, absolutely fine for one person for a couple of nights, just saw them mentioned and reminded me of our hilarity. We did get a view though; or the air conditioning units of the building directly opposite us!
The one in Holborn if anyone fancies checking it out based on my review 🤣

Johnnysgirl · 25/05/2022 08:34

francesfrankenfurter · 25/05/2022 01:49

She may not get expenses. Not everyone does.
But still say no.

More fool her if she's happy to travel on her own dime.

HollowTalk · 25/05/2022 08:39

@francesfrankenfurter Companies can't expect you to go to a conference in a foreign country and not pay expenses!

Sockpile · 25/05/2022 08:44

When DH travels for work he expenses the hotel but if he stays with a friend his company pay
him an allowance per night- your friend may make money by staying with you.

It sounds really inconvenient for her to stay with the wfh arrangements and DS doing his A levels, keep saying no.

StageRage · 25/05/2022 09:13

She might be a self employed/ freelance consultant and travelling to conferences for the CPD / networking.

Someone I know works for a think tank type org but is self employed.

OP; it’s OK to say ‘sorry not possible for us to have anyone to stay during the exam season’. You don’t have to make it about her comfort.

Tell her nicely but directly. Say you love spending time with her but now you have moved into a much smaller place and are WFH you can only have guests while your eldest is away at Uni (and then only if they have a room each) and when you are not working.

And arrange to meet her for a meal.

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