Last time they broke the bed

[Hopenothinggoesbumpinthenight]

In a dilemma, married family couple (not saying too much because don’t want to get caught out and have nc) want to come and stay. Haven’t seen them since before pandemic but have ‘seen’ them on video calls.

Both were very obese last time we saw them and after they left I realised that our spare bed was broken, fortunately DH repaired it but he doesn’t think it will take their combined weight and we are very sure they’re a lot bigger than last time.

Just had a message asking to come and stay, how on earth do I word it politely that the bed will not take their weight.

I’m not sure, probably 20-25 stone each. It is/was a sturdy divan and was ok before. It’s hardly been slept in too.

yes, as suggested, I think I’ll just say it’s broken, and we can’t afford a new one (which is true) and hope they don’t realise they were the last to stay.

You have turned the spare room into a sex dungeon.

Literally tell them it's broken, no need to say more than that. They can use mattress on floor perhaps...?

How could they have not noticed it was broken if they actually did it?
How likely are they to invite themselves again knowing they left a broken bed behind them last time? 🤔
I think your bed is not fit for purpose.

As an overweight person I once broke a chair in an interview (was at a school, so small chair but v embarrassing!). You need to be honest- they’ll get it if you do it in a nice way. My awful mother makes
me get out of the car when driving down her long driveway with her forcing me to walk the rest of the way, but I’m sure you wouldn’t be as blunt as her about it.

Or how about an infestation of bed bugs or mice etc? Additionally, if you said you’d recently got a snake🐍 I’d never darken your door again- maybe worth a try?

Tell them a mattress on the floor is all that's available. If they don't like it they can make alternative arrangements.

Tell them the truth. The bed is broken. Just leave it at that.

sort of twist the truth a little - the bed is getting replaced. You have thrown out the old one but the new one is still waiting to be delivered. No eta as yet - supply chain issues.

In a dilemma, married family couple (not saying too much because don’t want to get caught out and have nc)

You've NC so why does it matter

Yes, be honest and say the bed is broken, you shouldn't need to embellish with who broke it but nephews/friends kids jumping on it is a good get out, if you're pushed.
Also, don't lie too much ie. - decorating - because if they end up actually visiting your house, for coffee etc they will see that you are not decorating etc.

"Hi, it will be great to see you both again. FYI the old bed has finally given up and is broken, we haven't got around to changing it yet and only the kids friends have been able to sleep in it without it falling through again so for adults we have had to put the mattress on the floor. Hope that is ok. Looking forward to seeing you on the 10th! xx"

Just be honest and tell them they exceed the weight limit of the bed and you don't want to have to repair or replace it again. I had to be just as blunt with a family member after they broke a bed, multiple toilet seats, a sofa, reclining deckchair and on one occasion an armchair in Glasswells.

Get a new bed frame. There are loads on our local marketplace!

Just how big was this person? Did they also leave a trail of broken paving stones behind them as they walked along the street?

I’d just say the bed got broken when someone stayed, so you’ve only got a mattress on the floor..

"Sorry guys, but our spare bed didn't survive your weight last time and we don't have the funds right now to replace it. The only safe thing to do is put the mattress on the floor if you guys are OK with that? "

I'm overweight myself (though I've not knowingly broken any beds) and would far rather people were honest.

I feel sad reading this and I'm a healthy 60kg. I think it's the replies that are bothering me, the sniggering. They would probably be devastated that they broke the bed. Just say the bed is broken but they are welcome to have the mattress in the floor.
If you don't really like them, it does sound a bit like that, then just tell them where a hotel is.

@Johnnysgirl why are you so disbelieving about obese people breaking things? It happens! (I've seen someone obese sit on a solid wood pub bench and it completely splinter and collapse).

Op has already said she reckons they are 20-25 stone each - that's a LOT on a bed frame. My husband and I don't even weigh 25 stone combined together and our bed creaks sometimes if we both plunk down at the same time.

I suppose so... It just sounded so far fetched.

How horrific to go through life being afraid to sit down in case you go straight through the chair!

Isn’t it really cheeky to ask someone if they can stay there?

Surely you wait to be invited or ask them to yours.

I would just say you’ve got no spare bed as the other broke so you had to get rid of it.

another vote for this one

Just say it's broken. Best to be matter of fact.

Again, I say this as a nearly obese person myself (so I’m certainly not laughing) but I’m getting Shallow Hall vibes- are you sure they’re that big, OP? If they’re as big as the woman Gwyneth Paltrow portrayed, they surely wouldn’t fit on a standard double bed just from their dimensions/space taken up??

How do you break a divan

My BIL is obese and has broken bed frames on holiday.

In fact a few of our slats were broken on our spare bed when we checked it a couple of years ago ( he had the temerity to complain that it was uncomfortable). DH managed to replace the slats and put some extra ones in to reinforce it and that seems to have done the trick.

I'd say to them that you haven't got a spare bed anymore as the base on yours is broken and you're a bit surprised as you only bought it a couple of years ago. Hopefully they can join the dots without you spelling it out for them.