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I just got shat on

32 replies

kimfox · 22/05/2022 18:15

Literally shat on ( although I'm now having trouble accepting that shat is the correct past tense inflection of shit). I'm having a crappy day (pun intended), I'm peri-menopausal, just got my period, (which can fuck off as well) kids are all worrying me etc Blah blah blah - came to sit outside to drink a can of Tart Rhubarb water in peace and a bastarding bird flew over and shit bombed me. Fucks sake!! Please someone come and tell me this means 50 years of good luck or something!!!

(In case anyone is wondering, I can confirm that fresh bird shit is warm)

OP posts:
Reluctantadult · 22/05/2022 18:16

Lol op
Add some rum to that rhubarb water?

CountessOfSponheim · 22/05/2022 18:17

It is supposed to signify good luck if that's any help...

Sympathies.

RJnomore1 · 22/05/2022 18:18

It is indeed supposed to be lucky. 50 years May be stretching it…

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YorkshireDude · 22/05/2022 18:21

It's supposed to indicate good luck is coming your way when a bird poos on you.

kimfox · 22/05/2022 18:23

Ha! Thanks all for replying! I think I'm pushing my luck to suggest that I've got 50 years in which to enjoy good luck, so I will settle for a little bit of it - maybe just no one having a trauma for the rest of the day! ( we are mid exam season)

OP posts:
kimfox · 22/05/2022 18:25

And yes to the rum, although Gin might go better with the rhubarb.

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mbosnz · 22/05/2022 18:29

Amid the exam season at that?! You have my sympathies! (Both A level and GCSE's in da house here). Defo to the rum. Or gin. Easy on any other ingredients.

MayorDusty · 22/05/2022 18:29

Treat yourself to a scratch card, it must be a sign 🐦

Possiblynotever · 22/05/2022 18:40

It happened to me once. For my very first interview. I was wearing a very smart orange suit closed up to the collar. I arrived early and was waiting outside. A pigeon centred me. The whole jacket was full of the stinking thing.
I went into a nearby shop, sobbing.
The lady at the counter allowed me to use the sink but it was all over the place.
I had to take off the jacket and underneath I was wearing a very flimsy white t shirt with Fruit of the Loom written on top of my boobs.
I was interviewing for a research bursary.
The intervier, a man, was horrid.
He basically told me that I had to do the whole research and that he would have paid me on the basis of what he thought of it.
I told him to fuck off ( not the exact words but nearby).
I was desperate for money at the time, but immediately after I was offered a well paid internship.
I have always been paid well in all the jobs I have taken on. 50 years of good luck.

kimfox · 22/05/2022 18:42

mbosnz · 22/05/2022 18:29

Amid the exam season at that?! You have my sympathies! (Both A level and GCSE's in da house here). Defo to the rum. Or gin. Easy on any other ingredients.

GrinGrin Bottoms up! I will have to drink my way through this - good luck to your DCs!

OP posts:
kimfox · 22/05/2022 18:43

Good call @MayorDusty Wink

OP posts:
kimfox · 22/05/2022 18:47

Love that story @Possiblynotever !! Hope it was the same bird that just targeted me. Glad you told that CF to fuck off! Fruit of the loom!😂

OP posts:
DelurkingAJ · 22/05/2022 18:48

Another one who was pooped on by a bird en route to a job interview. Unlike PP I arrived, got scrubbed up by HR, had a half decent top under my suit jacket so went ahead. Got the job. So yes, my experience is that it was lucky!

oakleaffy · 22/05/2022 18:50

A heavy, fishy dollop of pigeon poo landed on me while going under a Railway bridge-

Fortunately , a local Library let me use their loo to clean it off my hair- and hand.
I heard it was Lucky.

It’s surprising how warm it was.

Shithawks are not tagged with that moniker for nothing.

Justagigolo · 22/05/2022 18:53

Just put a hat on, wide brimmed Tilley should do it. An elephant keeper had his tilley eaten by a fant and got it back three days later, quick wash and good as new.
not sure it would provide much protection if the pachyderm pooed on you directly.

Soubriquet · 22/05/2022 18:57

That happened to me in secondary school.

It landed on the top of my head, dropped down and landed in my open can of coke.

Had to throw it away as people laughed at me

Seagullsshitonhigh · 22/05/2022 19:07

Nc as so very outing. We went to scatter my dad's ashes off a pier on the se coast, it was a cock up, we were told the fishermen at end of pier would be told so pier would be empty, they weren't, no problem. They all moved so we could proceed with dignity. Has anyone seen those plastic bags you get the ashes in? No one told us we would need a knife, cue BIL ripping the bag with his keys. Ashes blow everywhere including over the respectful fishermen. My mum was heard to say, just throw the bag in!

Walking back down the pier we were laughing,saying how dad would have been mortified! I felt a shove on my back,son shouting don't touch mum, too late! The most enormous seagull poo you have ever seen! To this day I think it was my dad saying how dare you show me up

Elderflower14 · 22/05/2022 19:20

It's supposed to be lucky... I was walking to my friends several years ago to watch a Chelsea match... They weren't expected to win so my friend had been into town and laid a bet for me that morning... A bird dumped on my sleeve just as I arrived at their house !!
Chelsea won and I won £30!! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

Imnotahippo · 22/05/2022 20:00

Many years ago my son was one of those teenagers who you’d mutter under your breath that you blame the parents

he was that bad he was brought home by the police almost every time he left the house,was banned from local shops unless I was with him and even our
local church banned him from stepping on their land-loads more but I was doing my best with him-but nothing seemed to work

anyway he grew up into a lovely,hard working,thoughtful lad who has his own place and a dog

he rang me one day and asked if we fancied giving him,his mate and the dog to a seaside town (he wanted us to travel 130 miles to give him a lift that was half hour on the train-cf!)

we agreed as he hadn’t seen him for a while-drove up,picked the 3 of them up and got to the seaside so the dog could have his run on the beach

while we where watching the dog,my son ran over the road to get a drink and came back to us to drink it

hed just opened it when a seagull flew over his head,and did the biggest shit I’ve ever seen over his head-it was everywhere-his hair,phone,clothes,drink,shoes,brand new phone (he’d had it a day!) his fag and his rucksack

he pissed ourselves laughing while he did the ‘a gull has shat on me’ dance while demanding baby wipes to clean himself up-we couldn’t help-we where too busy laughing

i swear if I could have done I would have bought the hull a massive slap up dinner-it was karma in one big shit

Sexnotgender · 22/05/2022 20:04

My toddler was sick on my husband’s head as a wake up call this morning if that makes you feel better 😂

QuietlyWonderful · 22/05/2022 20:13

I got a birthday card once - "May the Blue Bird of Happiness ... (look inside) ... shit on your birthday cake"

Helenahandkart · 22/05/2022 22:00

I got locked out of my second floor flat once. I stood in the street and looked up to see if I could get a ladder up to an open window to break in. As I looked up a seagull shat in my eye.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/05/2022 22:01

It IS lucky. I got shat on wearing something my BF had just posted me.

Readers: I MARRIED him.

frazzledasarock · 22/05/2022 22:11

Helenahandkart · 22/05/2022 22:00

I got locked out of my second floor flat once. I stood in the street and looked up to see if I could get a ladder up to an open window to break in. As I looked up a seagull shat in my eye.

I need to know did you get back into your flat using a ladder and an open window?

kimfox · 22/05/2022 22:41

These are all brilliant - and yes, they have made me feel better 😂tbh I now feel lucky it didn't shit in my drink or my face! The toddler sick is a shocker - I hope it wasn't SpAG Bol - dealt with a few of those in my time - but good on that poster for having trained the toddler to wake up Daddy not Mummy 😂

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