Just that really.
A wedding has never been my dream. Not has it ever been my partners dream. We are looking forward to being married and having that “official” commitment to each other but until this point it’s never been my top priority. He’s suggested quite a few times over the years that we arrange a date etc but there’s always been something that comes up (a house relocation, very ill family on both sides, covid, our beautiful DC!). We have been together 12 years, have 1 young DC and will be getting married later this year (I know the Mumsnet opinion on us having a child and not being married yet - I’m fine with it so let’s not debate that 🤣)
Our plan was us, DC and witnesses (1 of my choice from my family and 1 of DPs choice from his) - registry office - then a nice first family holiday for 3 to celebrate.
My family don’t get along. My mum and dad cohabit (not very peacefully) and have a toxic on/off relationship. They are horrendously anti-social and hate being around drinkers. He hates her family, she hates his family. My relationship with them both is good but I prefer just to keep myself at a distance when things aren’t going well between them. They’ve never been married and don’t really agree with marriage.
DPs family on the other hand are very social, there’s lots of them, they love a lovely drink and party. They LOVE a wedding and are absolutely devastated at the idea of him not having a big wedding. Traditionally in their family it’s a big wedding with every extended family member there (DPs sister has around 160 guests to the full wedding).
A wedding with all of both our families there is just not the relaxing and enjoyable day that we had in our heads!
Our wedding has now turned into a registry office wedding with all immediate family there - our parents, siblings and grandparents. That’s my absolute limit, it’s as far as I’m willing to go. It’s already bigger than I’d like but I can tolerate it for the sake of somewhat keeping the peace. MIL is still very upset. There’s more family that she wants to be there and she wants the “big wedding” experience with her son. She tells me I’ll absolutely regret this decision (she seems to think it’s me pushing this despite DP being extremely vocal on the fact that he can’t think of anything worse than a big wedding and it’s just not for us!) not to get “properly married” as she calls it. She keeps bringing up the fact that my family don’t have much money (traditionally in their family the brides family pay for the lot just as they did with their DD) and saying that they can help with costs if that’s my issue 🙄 I just don’t want a day where I’m the centre of attention - it’s my worst nightmare 😂 I’m in my 30s and have never even had a birthday celebration other than a meal or a trip with DP or with a couple of friends.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for from posting 🙈 I know we’re not being unreasonable having the wedding that we want. I think I just needed to vent 😂 Have you had a smaller wedding and ever regretted not doing it the other way?