Do you get lots of attention from the opposite sex?

[bigmamaweekitty]

I'm an ugly bug 😂 but I'm Just curious to know... do you get lots of attention from admirers? If so do you enjoy it? Do you play on it to get what you want? Does it 'annoy' you when you for some reason dont get the attention you're used too?

I often think it must be nice to have people rally round because they fancy you so if you're one of them please tell us all what it's like 😊

No, I’m very unattractive. I don’t care from most points of view but seeing how much more just polite, kind and accommodating men are to my attractive friends makes me a bit sad. I get pushed out the way on trains and overlooked at work. As I get more senior I can see that the board rooms are full of men at my level of attractiveness but the women tend to be much better looking.

I used too and When I was younger I wasn't a hot pants girl or bosom girl for sure!
Usually quite loose Pretty dresses.

It's unusual and strange.
We are an extremely shallowe society... people were much kindest and warmer...I'm quite shy so that helped when people spoke to me.

You don't have to change as you age!
You sound like you look like me, except I'm 51!
I do get a lot of male attention but am always shocked that it's 'old' men eyeing me up.
It's not, they're generally my age but my brain hasn't caught up with me being in my 50s and in my head I'm still 30 😂

@Notbeingbigheaded but how could a man in a bar know if you’re kind or intelligent? They’re only saying what they see.

I get this and yes, I have used it to my advantage both past and present. I have never minded it and never felt uncomfortable but I’m polite yet firm when I don’t want attention / to talk / a drink so luckily it’s never crossed a boundary for me.

Men are shallow as far as I'm concerned. When my children were very little I wore my glasses all the time, and usually had my long hair tied back. Still smart and groomed though. Now I have more time I have my hair down and wear contacts. The men that didn't give me a second glance for years in the school yard now gawp at me. I'm the same person.
Very happily married so not interested anyway.

Not a lot, no. Which is good because I don’t welcome it from random men.
I would say I’m attractive - tallish, slim, blonde, OK face 😄 but I’m not ‘sexy’ - I don’t wear fitted clothes and am pretty flat-chested.
I also think it’s a lot to do with the way you interact with people - at work some colleagues get lots of attention and others (all similarly attractive) get very little.
I don’t like being told I’m ‘sexy’ or ‘beautiful’ by people I’m dating as I know quite matter-of-factly that it’s not true. I have plenty of confidence and don’t like the assumption from men that all women want to be told stuff like this.

I’ve never got a lot of attention as day to day I am very ordinary. However when I divorced aged 50 I grew my hair long, went blonde, whitened my teeth and did my eyelashes and the difference in reaction was amazing. I couldn’t sustain the effort so I’m back to normal now.

Yea all the time from teens to about 35

I'm now 42 and a bit overweight but if I do my hair , dress nice and do my make up and go out I still get attention when in bars etc

I definitely used it to my advantage through my working career as worked in a very male environment and it definitely helped me , men were always willing to help me.

I do remember getting ‘looked at’ walking down the street or out for the night etc.
I cannot think of one occasion when I thought this was nice. The men were creeps.
I had a friend who was a single Mum and she was a magnet to all sorts of men offering to mend this and that at her house. She took full advantage. It was pretty gross to watch them falling over themselves to ‘help out’ (out of the goodness of their hearts…)

I’m 46. As a former lifelong fatty, no. I never got approached, chatted up or received any attention from men unless it was platonic.
I lost a significant amount of weight over the past 5 years and am now slim, fit and toned (with my clothes on) and have had a new lease of life. I am approached, helped, treated with kindness and flirted with far more. It’s notable.
It’s an odd thing because while I do enjoy being noticed for the first time in my life, I feel intimidated and even slightly revulsed by being directly approached.

Not so much as a teenager - I was tall and skinny and took time to grow into my looks. I always had a lot of male attention through my 20s, 30s and 40s. I enjoyed it, it wasn’t a big deal just part of who I was really. I’m in my 50s now and unbelievably still have the odd admirer but generally they are people who’ve known me for many years so maybe it’s more a personality thing. I’ve a couple of very attractive 50 year old friends who’ve aged well and men still find them attractive but they are also very intelligent and fun. I think a lot of it is about the looks, personality and confidence combo.

Yes when I go out . I didn't hit 40 and become invisible, actually it was the opposite as I lost over 4 stone

Being overweight for a few years was the only time I didn't get attention.

Yes before I got fat. I hated it, and I hate "pretty privilege". Most of my family really use it to their advance, with a life time of free things and being allowed to do things less pretty people aren't. They aren't even nice people. It makes me furious

Not loads, but I got the usual amount of attention when I was younger, and still get the odd effort if I'm in a nice dress (rare). I never enjoyed it, especially because they would ogle me based on my excellent figure and then slow down when they really looked at my very average face!

I feel much more comfortable now I'm in my 40s and can walk around without feeling like a target.

When I was younger I used to. The building sites were a bit intimidating, but I liked getting to skip queues in clubs/ getting in free/ free drinks/ free taxi rides home and once a stranger giving me flowers in the street. Oh, and being serenaded with the song from top gun a couple of times!
Now I’m mid 40s and don’t go out so it’s just the building sites that remain: not so good!
I’ve never been treated differently in work though, when people know me they’ve always treated me as me.
Disclaimer: I’m not stunning, I’m pretty average really so it may be different for the truly beautiful. I suspect the bar for free stuff is pretty low round here 😂

I used to get asked out a lot by men when I was younger. Usually the confident types. Lots of short term relationships. I think it meant that I didn’t really consider what I wanted in a boyfriend until I reached my late 20’s. I realised then that I was going for the wrong types and I can remember making a conscious decision to seek out a different type of man. When I met my now exH, I knew he was a good man (and he is) who valued the same things as me.

I never dressed sexy or anything like that and I don’t believe that attractiveness is about looks only. In social situations, I think I’m fun and chatty and I’m friendly. I smile a lot at people. I’m not sure why, I think it must be in my upbringing. It’s an act though as I’m actually very introverted, private and really enjoy my quiet hobbies.

My current boyfriend it turns out frequented many of the same places that I did when we were in our 20’s but he is very reserved and has said that he would never have approached me back then. I don’t really believe in ‘if you could give your 16 year old self advise, what would it be?’ type questions (pointless) but it took me a very long time to think about I wanted and not just accept offers from men who approached me.

It all worked out okay, I had a lot of fun in my teens and 20’s, a very happy marriage with lovely children and now I’m in a wonderful new relationship with exactly the kind of man my parents tried to tell me I should be with! Lesson for me - listen to your mother!

Yes when I was younger, all of the time. It was a constant part of leaving the house - just knowing my privacy was going to be invaded by men, that men would expect something of me. It made me feel like prey. Like I couldn't just walk down the street and think my own thoughts or whatever, I would have to be prepared to deflect unwanted attention. I think it is rude to say the least, and on a deeper level it's some sort of tactic that men seem to use to dominate and undermine. It isn't complimentary, to my mind.

I live in a small village in the countryside now and know EVERYONE, I work from home, my hair is greying, I'm constantly in the company of small children... The dynamic has changed and I don't have that same feeling of being preyed upon when I leave the house. It's better

No, but I am ugly. And have a disability. My dp says I’m not but he’s nearly as blind as I am otherwise I don’t imagine he’d have looked at me twice.

As a teenager I overheard two girls talking one day about how I would likely never find a husband because “not only is she not very pretty but she’s blind as well.”

Yes I'm in my mid 50's - men haven't really evolved much, very predictably I'm slim with big boobs, long blonde hair, pretty face. It's mostly from men my age but I do get stared at by youngsters occasionally. We have a large mixed group of friends and a couple of men are flirty which I hate. Especially when DH isn't around.

I do but it's never from randomers, it's always people who know me in person who usually seem to want a potential relationship as opposed to just a hook up.

It can be a bit awkward because I'm not interested and I have to see them frequently and don't want to give off the wrong vibe.

No idea what it is I do, I don't have a dazzling personality, I'm sarcastic and scatty and definitely not intentionally flirty, I behave the same around men as I do around women and have no idea how to purposely flirt.

Looks wise I'm reasonably attractive and approachable which probably has something to do with their attraction to me.

I do think looks and personality have a lot to do with attracting the attention of the opposite sex. I'm horrendously picky when it comes to men, dating websites are useless for me because I go on initial attractiveness but all of my past relationships have been built on personality.

Yes and I always hated it. It did it the past make me very unhappy and played a large part in the anxiety order I developed.

It started when I was a teenager. I was 15 and was doing my GCSEs at a local collage rather than school (I won’t go into the reasons I wasn’t at school) and used to get the bus. I had a middle age man stalking me and he would wait for me when I got off the bus. He gave me presents, wrote me poems, and kept pestering me to go back to his house. I didn’t but some other poor girl did. He assaulted her, and I had to give a statement to police for the court and he was imprisoned.

I went to university in Sheffield for 7 years and had all sorts of unwanted attention although I never went on nights out. It was the usual stuff from builders and workmen mentioned by others. One of the worse encounters was when I was walking back to my flat alone early in the evening in winter and it was dark. A man stopped me to ask for directions, the grabbed me and kissed me. I was so scared because he knew where I lived. I reported it to the police but they weren’t interested. Thankfully I never saw him again.

The worse encounter was on a train on my way back from Sheffield. The train was packed with American students and no one came around to check the tickets. A man sat next to and kept brushing up against me and eventually his hands were everywhere. This went on for nearly two hours. It was horrific.

In my workplace I had a man pinch my backside when photos were being taken and he proceeded to place his hands between my legs. I should have reported him but he was very senior.

I had a builder working at neighbours house harassing me all day and he left me his mobile number through my letterbox.

It’s depressing thinking back, and it was more than attention. I don’t know why this happened to me. I’m extremely shy and never went out on nights out, and have only been with my DH. All the attention happened when I was going about my normal daily life. I used to get very nervous walking past men in the street, especially builders.

Now I’m nearly mid 40s and since having DS have put on some weight. A man in a van beeped his horn at me the other day. Men in vans are awful too. I wouldn’t want to go back to what it was like when I was younger and feel for women who have put up with the unwanted attention.

Sorry about the long post!

I think the main takeaway from this thread is men are awful.

Yeah, if I wear my hair down. It's something very obvious and very weird. I have long-ish dark wavy hair, and if I wear it up I don't get much attention really, some stares, smiles, second glances etc, but not often at all. Hair down and bam, I get comments, beeping cars etc. It's REALLY weird. I mean, I look exactly the same, same face, same clothes (jeans and hoodies, nothing revealing).. It really shows that most men love long hair. Even though I think I look way nicer with it up. It's very odd. And of course I got more attention when I was 15 than I do at 35, which makes me feel a bit sick when I think about it.
I should add, the type of guy who stares, winks, double takes etc.. They're exactly the guys I wouldn't touch with a barge pole. So no, I don't feel good about it or flattered, or care. No woman wants a guy that cat calls random women (and children!!!) in the street.