Do you get lots of attention from the opposite sex?

[bigmamaweekitty]

I'm an ugly bug 😂 but I'm Just curious to know... do you get lots of attention from admirers? If so do you enjoy it? Do you play on it to get what you want? Does it 'annoy' you when you for some reason dont get the attention you're used too?

I often think it must be nice to have people rally round because they fancy you so if you're one of them please tell us all what it's like 😊

Spot the man who thinks creeping women out is a compliment.

newsflash: most of us don’t like it. HTH

I don’t often, but my bloody MUM does! She’s in her 60s now and still has men (granted older/her age) telling her she’s beautiful and asking her out on dates etc. Although people tell me I look like her so maybe it’s just a waiting game for me and I’ll peak in my 60s 😂

Yes I used to a lot and hated it.

The ‘meerkats’ on building sites and road works were the worst. One would notice you, and then suddenly the rest would all down tools and pop up and just stare. Not intimidating at all….

I’m knocking 50 and am more than happy to let the younger gen step up and take the heat, poor things.

Yes, for the first time in a long time. I've lost a lot of weight so I think the confidence attracts attention, also the fact that I'm in a loving relationship means I don't look for it ..... does that make sense.... I've had a lot of brandy... 🫣🫣🫣

I did from late teens to mid 30's. The feeling of attractiveness and power is nice but you have to be careful it doesn't replace your own esteem and self worth. Also a lot of the time it was about sex, I would prefer people found me attractive for my humour, brains etc than just something they want to stick their penis in. And getting groped on nights out wasn't fun at all. Now I have middle age spread no one finds me attractive except dh but it does mean I get to dance without being pestered. Although I wish I didn't look so frumpy!!

Used to a bit but I'm getting on a bit now! Whilst it's fun getting dressed up and liking what you see in the mirror, I wouldn't say the attention is a great thing.

There was some awful debate going around the media last year about so-called "pretty privilege". It's not a privilege to be seen for your looks. All women are devalued and dehumanised when this becomes the benchmark of our worth for free coffees or a leg up the career ladder.

Being looked at because others have judged you to be "pretty" is creepy and invasive. Can amount to harassment if extreme.
All women have to put up with this shit whether pretty or not. And we all end up internalising it, hence this thread! It's not cool.

But thanks for posting an interesting question!

Over the years several men at least a decade over and married have taken to buying me gifts and giving me much attention their wives wouldn't be happy about. I don't know why because I have never been interested in an affair and find the whole thing awkward.

I have taken advantage of it once, my driving instructor was offering me tons of free lessons and I needed to pass.

In general on nights out and stuff I usually get hit on. I don't think I am especially attractive, I am just very smiley and must have an approachable face.

No, because I'm old, grey and fat. Used to when younger and hated it. One of the good things about being old, grey and fat is being able to walk down the street without being harassed.

Not now I'm older but I used to when I was young. I didn't notice how much until it stopped.

Same, I used to have a cracking figure and never got any interest. I remember at uni the girls moaning about being cat called and literally being jealous, that's how little male attention I got. I have always dressed nice (dare I say, sexy at times) and made an effort with my hair and make up. I can only blame my horrible bone structure.

I used to! Until my late 30s. It was frankly more hassle and less of a
good thing. I felt very preyed upon in my teens and 20s.

Having children and aging past 37 has stripped me of my attractiveness. I feel invisible!

😆😆😆 meerkat men and men are in heat in the summer are hilariously true. The image of them popping up and leering!

OP the secret is to be confident. To think: I don’t give a fuck and I own this and appear to be in a good mood.
Looks are irrelevant in my experience.

I've had plenty of male attention I think I'm pretty and seem to have had it confirmed most of my life.

You asked how it was? The drawbacks are your self esteem can become dependent on it, and people crack onto you in inappropriate situations like at work a lot. Not only can that in and of itself be frustrating but it can also have knock on effects like how colleagues treat you if they think you're getting a role or special treatment due to factors other than your skill level.

Also - when you're valued for your looks your whole life it sort of shapes what you value in yourself. If I see questions on MN or anywhere like "what's the best compliment you've received, what's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to you", all the things that come to mind are related to your looks. I don't think that's very good at all really.

And as I said your self esteem can become reliant on feeling like the prettiest person in any given situation. I mean jesus, I still remember aged 14 someone stopping and telling me I was the prettiest person they had ever seen. Now that I'm a mum and trying to further my career, I realise I don't have a lot of confidence in myself outside of that area.

I actually think this is very true too. Attractiveness is three dimensional. So much of it has to do with how someone acts and presents themselves.

Oh sorry one more thing - something that has remained really jarring to me, is how young I was when starting to receive male attention. I remember buildings not only catcalling but trying to get me to stop and speak to them - I was 11 years old and in school uniform

Looking back, yes I was, still am for my age but overweight now so way less attention. I also had a smiley, friendly face, but as the youngest in a large family with a lot of cousins my age to fight with I was a bit of a scrapper and didn't take shit. Guys told me I was quite intimidating actually, called ice queen once when I gave a guy a death glare - not by the rude guy but by the other guys in my group.

I do get attention from men but recently had IVF and gained about two stone over the two years of treatment (sadly unsuccessful) which I’ve just about lost now. When I lost the weight I suddenly noticed I was getting this sort of attention again and realised I hadn’t been for a while, I hadn’t really thought about it much but if I had maybe would have assumed it was age related as now mid 30s.
It can be annoying or even a bit scary sometimes when men are too persistent or strangers ask questions and won’t take no for an answer. On the other hand like a PP I have accepted free coffees from staff in cafes and similar so sometimes it is nice. I have long dark hair and also noticed less attention when I cut it short a few years ago after my divorce. I do also think it has given me opportunities at work to do large people-facing events or be in promotional materials like videos or brochures etc.
on balance I would say it mostly makes me feel uncomfortable especially if I go to sit somewhere alone and read or whatever and a man pesters me and won’t leave me alone, I’ve ended up leaving a few places because of that.

I could have written this.

I’m glad I’m invisible these days, although I still get male attention occasionally (mostly men in their 60s 🙄 which my DD thinks is hilarious “oh look, mum’s pulled, LOL”). I still don’t like it, and you can very much tell the difference between friendliness and creeping.

Not so much now that I'm 38 but in my younger days, all the time. It's not all it's cracked up to be!

No, never. The joys of being ugly.

Not any more absolute blessed relief. I do not miss being leered at, grim sexual remarks and an under tone of weirdness when dealing with men. Sadly one of my Dds is already getting significant hassle from men - she’s only 13. It’s shit.

I didn't think I received sexual attention from men really but I notice that men are usually nice to me. I said this to a male friend recently and he said that men are not nice to women unless the are attracted and I am being naive to think they are just being friendly. I am divorced and single and was discussing the fact that I'm not beating men off with a stick! I'm mid 40s and if I notice a man looking at me from a car they are usually in their 60s

Only this week I have had someone say Hello Beautiful Woman as I served him lunch. He's started early though, he's only 5. Made me laugh lots though.

A few men, usually 50+ used to say I was gorgeous when me and DH ran a repairs garage (I'm in my 30s).
They probably wanted a discount! I always answered with Yes, DH is bloody lucky!

I was in a shoe shop the other day and one of the staff (twenty something man) came charging over to Dd and was gushing about her coat and where she got it 🙄 bog standard North Face. I was standing right next to her. We left fast - she was confused as “there’s nothing that special about my coat mum”. A long road ahead..

Not so much as a teenager because I was a punk (other punks fancied me), but when I became more conventional in my 20s I got a lot more attention.

Then I got a bit fat and was invisible for a few years, then I lost weight and started getting chatted up in the street again, "smile gorgeous" and all that old shite.

Then I got heavy again and have remained largely invisible for the last 10 years or so, with the occasional admiring glance if I make an effort with clothes and make up. A very nice chap made unexpected conversation with me in Tescos the other day, I'd put a dress on for the first time in years. Gave me a little lift.

Professionally, you can't win - if you're attractive, women are suspicious of you and men can't see past your looks so you may not be taken seriously at work as you're perceived as vain or bitchy. If you're unattractive, especially that social faux pas of being fat, you may not be taken seriously either as you're perceived as weak. *Speaking very generally and based on experience of being in both camps.

Out there in the world, getting sexual attention on a day to day, superficial basis (I don't mean dating) is just that, superficial - it's "nice" and good for the ego I guess, but ultimately vapid and pointless. I don't recall any love story starting with, "We met when he winked and said 'Ello darlin'!' in Starbucks."