Things your child needs to know as an adult

[herecomesyour19thnervousbreakdown]

Off the back of the cultural capital thread and reading and learning more myself about extra and super curricular
What do we all expect our 18 year olds to be able to do as they go out into the wider world?

I will pay for mine to learn to swim and drive for example:

Good work ethic and
Boundaries
Respect for Self and others
EmotionAl regulation

Self care

Oh, good money management

BASICS

Self care - from personal hygiene to maintaining Mh. Teach that knowing how to relax is as important (and as impactful on physical health) as keeping fit, prob getting a name on mn for this one but - that you don't have to be in a relationship! That it's perfectly ok to be single and to have good relationship standards - and be a good partner themselves without being a doormat, have a wide range of interests from academic to crafts to sport/fitness

Cooking & associated skills - kinda leads on from the above but +

Meal planning, budgeting/shopping around/understanding "special offers" can be misleading, food safety and storage, prep, safe knife use etc, cooking from scratch, batch cooking, baking etc

Cleaning/home maintenance - from dusting and hoovering to laundry to maintaining fixtures and fittings, to looking after and respecting the care of your own and others belongings

Make do and mend - skills that are rapidly vanishing! From seeing on a button to changing a fuse to upcycling/adapting clothes and household items, toys etc basic diy - absolutely though I'm hopeless despite several people trying to teach me!

Social skills - good manners, from how to behaved in various social situations (how to introduce yourself and others, how to order a meal in a restaurant, public speaking, assertiveness - personally I think this should be on the curriculum as soon as they start school! This and conflict resolution would prevent a lot of problems in society), punctuality, telephone etiquette (the way some so called professionals conduct themselves on the phone is shocking!) how to conduct yourself in job interviews, be able to converse with people of all different backgrounds

Financial literacy - from basic household budget to haggling to getting the best deal to bank accounts, pensions and mortgages etc "want" vs "need", delayed gratification

@Enko when my dd hit 18 there were kids she went school with (and were older than her) who couldn't boil a kettle! Ridiculous!

Planning and contingency planning - this covers SO much but certainly when they are kids still things like always be able to get home from wherever you're going! (Cash in case Apple Pay/card doesn't work! Phone charged up plus power bank, know where you are and where home is in relation to that, how to read a transport timetable (for if phone dead/playing up), how to cope when things go wrong and not be too thrown by this from a burnt dinner to a sudden downpour while out to minor accidents and injuries

My dd struggles with swimming, cycling and driving due to disability. She's been trying to find a specialist driving instructor for ages to no avail

What I've taught my kids since day one is to never believe all you read/see in the media or from Governments. Find the original source and analyse it yourself.

I did same with dd - Also with advertising

Our wee gellerism is:

Me - what is advertising and adverts for?

Her - to make you spend money on things you don't need

First aid skills would be great too.

Inc basic (often much cheaper and more accessible than meds too!)

Cooking

Money

Not to be coerced/cajoled into any sexual acts that they're not fully comfortable with.

All the critical building blocks for adulthood already mentioned, like financial literacy, household & DIY skills, driving and confidence.

But for me also - teaching Resilience. To accept life will at times be sad, stressful, lonely, challenging physically or mentally, mean dealing with difficult toxic people. That resilience is about learning skills and techniques for coping with adversity, like having strong connections ith good people, finding purpose or meaning, valuing themselves and their bodies, and so able to grow as a person from those experiences.

Too many people live their lives in ways designed to avoid these life events or they bury the pain through unhealthy coping strategies such as alcohol or drugs, bad relationships or suppressing feelings with 'stiff upper lip' attitudes. Resilience allows people to be stronger when the inevitable sh*t happens.

Gosh. I feel like there is so much I have t told them Yet
Where do I even start

OP I think a fair number of things people have listed you will be doing in your life and DC learn from being around that, being with you. They don't have to be actively taught everything.

For example, healthy eating is just what we do, as is having chocolate in small amounts unless it's your birthday/similar rare occasion when you can go crazy. Working and work ethic is obvious from how we work. Having a wide range of interests, same.

I find the popularity of learning to drive an interesting one as DD is adamant she will not and has recently said she will never fly again. So I won't be raising it again or paying for driving lessons, she can change her mind anytime and learn when she's adult. What I have done is spend on better bike storage and plan to upgrade her bike so she can use that more when she's old enough to cycle to friends/work.

Learning your boundaries: relationships, friendship, work/ life balance, being kind vs being a mug/ martyr.

Managing money, value, credit, saving, understanding the value of things.

Have a physical activity they enjoy. Swimming comes into this as it opens a lot of opportunities. I've kept up the lessons for years so they are confident and cover basic water survival. I didn't pick it up at school and went to adult lessons at 16.

Read between the lines: advertising/ scams/ relationships/ news. Critical thinking.

Getting themselves places. Hopefully driving, but drivers need to be able to use public transport too. Being fit for functional walking.

Recognising tough times and knowing when to get support, not being too proud, but also when to plough on and work through to the bigger picture.

Being comfortable in your own company. Too many people are afraid to be alone and make poor friendship/ relationship choices. Too many people never try things they think they'll love because they need someone to hold their hand.

Practical skills: cooking, housework, DIY, basic car maintainence, gardening.

Not being afraid to try, to fail, to look daft or different.

I like a OP's "know your worth". I think a lot of these are part of that.

Maybe not all of these by 18, but on the radar and developing them through early adulthood.

My DD goes off to uni in September and will be living away for the first time. I’m going to Nick some of these and put them in a book I’m collating for her, a sort of tongue in cheek ‘manual for basic adulting’.

Other things I have in there are ‘you’re unlikely to miss the best night of your life by staying in for the evening’ meaning don’t party too hard due to FOMO and ‘not all friends are created equal’.