Things your child needs to know as an adult

[herecomesyour19thnervousbreakdown]

Off the back of the cultural capital thread and reading and learning more myself about extra and super curricular
What do we all expect our 18 year olds to be able to do as they go out into the wider world?

I will pay for mine to learn to swim and drive for example:

They were able to cook. They could manage money. I rarely gave lifts so if they were going somewhere they had to work out how to get there and back. They knew how to be good reliable employees. They were independent and resilient.

Things I taught my son over many years in preparation for adulthood:

Swimming
Cooking
Cleaning a bathroom
Ironing
Driving
Handling his bank account/savings
Be assertive during interviews (we do mock ones before)

The formatting got destroyed

1.Swimming
2.Cooking 3.Cleaning a bathroom
4.Ironing
5.Driving
6.Handling his bank account/savings

1. Be assertive during interviews (we do mock ones before)

Life skills like managing money, cooking etc

Confidence and resilience.

I'm finding the 'learning to swim' rather odd in this list . This is something like learning to read and write you would hope your children were able to do in Primary school . Yes - you would of course want them to be able to swim but there are many more things that are also taught to young children you wouldn't even think to put in a list for them leaving home !

How to hold a knife and fork properly, order from a menu, treat restaurant staff nicely…

I have 3 year old twin girls, so obviously we have a way to go to adulthood these are the main things

Eat Healthily and be able to cook well enough not to rely on ready meals/processed food

Be active and have lots of interests

Budget and manage their money

Independent, both emotionally & financially

If they want to go to university absolutely brilliant, but to choose a degree where they have a clear career path - but also understand that they can have a wonderful happy career without going to university

Both to drive - 2 of my BIL's cannot drive and it baffles me - one of them is 50 this year and still lives at home with his parents.

My dad is a joiner and I have considerably better DIY skills than my DH - so a basic knowledge of how things work/are fixed would be amazing.

From a totally selfish point I want a different relationship with my daughters than what I have with my mum. I do want to be their mum (as opposed to friend) but I also want to do fun things with them even as adults. My mum has never ever wanted to do anything social or fun, it's all about functionality - such as let me come and clean your windows rather than lets go out and have some lovely lunch.

Money management
Cooking
Keeping a house clean
Time management
Personal drive and goal visualization
Personal worth

We live on a small tropical island full of millionaires so my kids are ridiculously privileged and sheltered about the real, adult world.
Everyone they know lives a wealthy life, they get driven everywhere (too hot to walk, there aren't any sidewalks, roads are full of twat drivers), we have a family helper who runs the household and looks after them, they have little concept or exposure.

They're not spoiled with material things at all, but the reality of their surroundings means that unless we make sure they're taught the realities of the world, they won't see it until it's too late.

We make sure they tidy up after themselves, they stack the dishwasher, they can prepare basic things like soup and sandwiches/toast etc (they're 10 & 8), they help with laundry (when I do it), and I get them to hoover and mop the floor, they help the helper to put away clothes etc.

As they get older, money management and budgeting is vital, saving for what they want and the value of striving for something.

DH and I are bringing them up with the same values we had instilled in us, that nothing will get handed on a platter and they must work hard for what they want.

Read a map and have a decent grasp of direction.

Money, understand that getting a £1500 overdraft and spunking it up the wall isn't a good thing

How to cook basics, wash clothes, food shop on a budget.

Live within your means.

Change a fuse, flip a trip switch, change a washer, change a plug - all stuff I was taught in brownies years ago but I don't think they are anymore.

This is a good one

My 24 year old son is a bit flakey at times, however I'm proud of the following

1 passed his test at 17 first time
2 started an apprenticeship in IT at 16 and has worked ever since with a couple of small between job gaps
3 was in a shared house at 17 yrs 9 months and paying rent and bills
4 has been doing his washing and cooking for years now
5 has a strong understanding that it's not always the most amazing people who get promoted- turning up every day and being reliable goes a long way

What I've taught my kids since day one is to never believe all you read/see in the media or from Governments. Find the original source and analyse it yourself. One is 10 and the other is 22 both are good at critical thinking.

To not judge people based on looks, accents, their name etc. The quicker this kind of classist attitude is wiped out the better.

How to cook, budget, use a washing machine and keep a clean and tidy house.

Understand that they don't have to please me. As an adult they will make choices I wouldn't have made and that is OK.

Good time keeping skills.

First aid skills would be great too.

Managing debt. That not all debt is created equal. Intentional use of credit cards to build a credit score. Its not budgeting, its financial literacy.

That many, many, men (can't say men else someone points out not all) will tell you absolutely anything they think you want to hear to get you to sleep with them.

The ability to learn stuff for themselves & know where & how to look for assistance

for example using YouTube to change an inner tube on a bike wheel

giving children the ability to find knowledge rather than teaching them everything

All the above plus how to honour and protect your self with high self esteem, good boundaries and self care.

Another poster here saying how to manage money: budgeting by "making do" or even mending! My young adult sons just seem to buy new, rather than either of those, even if it means they're going to be short of money by the end of the month 🤷🏽‍♀️

How to spot a scam.

My DD (22) nearly got taken in yesterday and would have lost 1500€. Fortunately she asked me what I thought first and as soon as I said it looks fishy she started to spot the signs.

Same goes for fake news.

to know how to receive a compliment (thank you)
How to apologise when they are wrong
to be able to make small talk with people who may not fascinate them (ie at a wedding funeral or some such)

And that its actually ok to realise they are spinning you a line and sleep with them anyway if you fancy the pants off them. But don't ever get in to a relationship with that type of man!

And on that note, that they don't have to be in a relationship with someone to have sex, as that leads to people having relationships with totally inappropriate people simply because they fancy them when a quick shag would have ended it!

In life that it's ok to have bad days, but without those bad days you wont see the good days. Also how to sew.

Managing money - only using debt for 'needs', never for 'wants'; never lend a friend or family money that you can't afford to lose

How to spot and get out of a bad relationship

How to complain in a restaurant or shop etc - not being all British about it and just putting up with bad products/services

Using public transport

Cooking at least some basics (oldest is 13 and can already cook and bake pretty well - all self taught!)