The watered down rhetoric from Kremlin is thought to be due to the fact that Putin actually wants to avoid an escalation, or what would be seen as escalation from Russia. This is according to Arestovych and the like.
Last week the Russian installed administration in Kherson declared they are happy to be annexed by Russia. What did Kremlin do? Peskov very quickly backpedalled, and said it has to be people's decision, and done "properly", via a referendum.
Why? Because that would be seen as escalation, which means more sanctions and more weapons for Ukraine. They can't afford that (well, they couldn't from the start but the penny finally dropped).
They are now instead doing a referendum in South Ossetia in July. This will let them gauge whether it actually works (and then they would repeat it in Kherson), and what the reaction from the West is going to be. I guess they are also hoping that with focus being on Ukraine, no one will give it much notice or care.
Also their most recent statement released by Russian MID about Finland joining NATO last week - it is almost word for word what they've put out on their news, except over there they were talking about it being "an existential threat" (aka nukes), but in official statement they didn't. The reasons are obvious - the pro war Russians are still buying the willy waving rhetoric, but the West doesn't, so they need to be careful what they're actually saying.
(I feel like my posts are a bit out of sync from what is being discussed right now, so I do apologise, but the thread is moving very fast sometimes!)