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Original poster

Does your partner compliment you?

36 replies

Ellena646 · 09/05/2022 12:16

Hi, I am just curious to know how you all feel about compliments? My partner hasn't paid me one in the six months that we've been together. Now, I consider myself to be an independent person who is happy with myself overall, but it does feel a little bit "off"... Am I reading too much into this, or not?

OP posts:

Summerholidayorcovidagain · 09/05/2022 12:18

Nearly 10 years in and he still compliments me.

itsmellslikepopcarn · 09/05/2022 12:21

You’ve only been together 6 months and he hasn’t paid you one yet? That’s very odd to me; DP and I have been together years and he was complimented me a lot for the first 6 months. I mean I’d be wary of lovebombing if it was overboard, but none at all?
Even now DP will notice and compliment a new outfit, hair cut or whatever.

maybe his love language means he shows affection in other ways but absolutely zero compliments when you’ve just started dating seems strange.

Orgasmagorical · 09/05/2022 12:22

How else does he make you feel, Ellena, despite the lack of compliments?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 09/05/2022 12:24

Every single day. 25 years on and he still genuinely thinks I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever met. I think he needs his eyes checking as I'm short and fat and look like one of the trolls in Frozen.

Original poster

Ellena646 · 09/05/2022 13:13

That's so lovely x

OP posts:

Original poster

Ellena646 · 09/05/2022 13:15

It's so lovely to hear how you all have partners making the effort to do this... He is practical... he helps me with mending stuff, and when I was poorly with Covid he checked brought stuff over, and checked in on me several times a day via messaging... He's thoughtful in a practical way... I just feel a bit "unattractive" around him.. does that make sense?!

OP posts:

BigFatLiar · 09/05/2022 13:18

Always. Tells me I'm gorgeous, that he loves me, I'm a great mum and gran, when I cook its a lovely meal (I'm not a great cook). Isn't that what part of being in a relationship is about supporting your partner, helping them feel good.

I do compliment him as well of course. We both still say please and thank you and try to take an interest in each others pastimes.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/05/2022 13:19

Every day. As I do him.

It absolutely makes sense the set up is making you feel shit, you don’t have to carry on seeing him if it’s not making you happy.

Have you heard of the languages of love thing? Some people are into words while others show affection in different ways. You may just not be compatible.

SirenSays · 09/05/2022 13:19

How did the relationship start? The idea of no compliments at least on the first few dates is really kind of shocking to me.

courtrai · 09/05/2022 13:20

My ExH - never until after the nisi came through. Current DP most days.

LimeSegment · 09/05/2022 13:22

My DH has never really complimented me, maybe 10 times in our whole relationship (7 years). I suppose it depends how important it is to you. I'd love it occasionally but you can't have everything I suppose.

ValBiro · 09/05/2022 13:22

Not vocally really, no. 11 years in! It used to really bother me but now not so much as I know how much he loves me and he shows me in other ways, much like it sounds your new partner does too.

If I wear something different or do something with my hair he will tell me I look nice but he doesn't shower me with compliments, no.

I would like more, for sure, who wouldn't? But I've seen it go the other way... Like really too far with loads of slushy compliments all the time and the receiver look a bit cringed out! There's a balance I guess, but it depends on how much of a deal breaker it is for you.

timestheyarechanging · 09/05/2022 13:25

Yes, every time I see him - 3/4 times a week. And on the phone in between then.

timestheyarechanging · 09/05/2022 13:31

He tells me I'm beautiful, I'm loving and caring, have a great body, intelligent, I'm everything he ever wanted and need to build my self confidence which he'll help me to do (51 and two adult kids). He's lovely and I'm grateful.

Iwanttenofthose · 09/05/2022 13:35

Mine does but they're always sexual in nature so I struggle to really see them as compliments. So maybe he doesn't, in that sense.

Crazyeyes8 · 09/05/2022 13:39

Yes he does. 3years together and 2 kids. At the start yes did pay compliments but sometimes only after prodding🤔…maybe he isn’t a compliment guy.
Ask yourself how he makes you feel🙂

timestheyarechanging · 09/05/2022 13:41

Sorry, been together just over a year and planning to move in together later in the year - currently selling our properties. Everyone needs to be complimented for self esteem, I do often compliment him too of course. He's lovely.

We are in our early 50s so second time around for us.

MrsGHarrison87 · 09/05/2022 13:48

Yes, all the time. Can't keep his hands off me, I love it.

Orgasmagorical · 09/05/2022 13:51

I just feel a bit "unattractive" around him.. does that make sense?!

I can understand that. Have you felt like that with previous relationships or is it just this one?

You could try asking him what he thinks of your new top/jeans/hairdo in a casual way, see how his answer makes you feel.

JofraArchersFastestBall · 09/05/2022 13:58

Almost never. To be fair, I'm not beautiful so don't expect him to tell me so. I know he loves and appreciates me and finds me attractive though. We show each other in different ways.

TimeForGouter · 09/05/2022 14:01

We ate the opposite. 15 years together, 3 kids, and DH compliments me multiple times daily. Honestly I find it a bit annoying! I probably hardly ever compliment him. I show my love in different ways.

AnotherTroyforHertoBurn · 09/05/2022 14:06

He is not massively into compliments but his actions cancel this out.

When covid started I was CEV, he brought me a cup of coffee and a square of chocolate every morning.

We sleep in separate rooms due to his snoring, but every morning when I am finished my coffee I go in and make his bed.

We put towels on the heated rail for each other if we can preempt shower time.

Little things but nice things.

SneezesHaveStarted · 09/05/2022 14:20

i genuinely can’t remember the last compliment DH gave me. He is also very practical, and puts more stock in actions than words - he will do things for me rather than say something nice. If I ever fish for a compliment and say “do you like this dress/haircut” etc, he will say “it’s alright” with a bit of a grin, he sort of prides himself on not being demonstrative?

I would rather hear it in words sometimes to be honest. And I do feel unattractive, but that’s because I’m very overweight after last baby, and I genuinely know I don’t look good at the moment. I know he doesn’t find me particularly attractive at this size either, and if he complimented my looks I’d actually know he didn’t mean it so I’d rather he didn’t. That’s a bit sad actually, reading that back.

YorkshireDude · 09/05/2022 14:46

Ellena646 · 09/05/2022 13:15

We are all different. And the way that we express love and feel love is one such difference. He is doing these things for you because that is his unique way of expressing his love for you, and how much he values and cherishes you.

This is commonly known as someone's 'Love Language'. For example, I would feel loved if I was with someone who liked holding hands, cuddles and hugs. I also like spending time doing fun and enjoyable things together. Therefore, my 'Love languages' can be described as Physical Touch' and 'Quality Time'. If I was searching for a girlfriend I would specifically seek someone who would express love to me in those ways, because I know that without that I would feel unloved.

Maybe you could study the theory of 'Love Language', and then try to introduce the concept to him. At some point hopefully you will be able to talk about what makes the other feel loved, and then he will be able to understand that compliments are important in making you feel loved.

hotchocandtwosmokybacon · 09/05/2022 14:52

Not very often. Maybe once every few months but he does show appreciation of things I do for the family and also loves spending time with family and is always with us. I feel the love with or without the compliments

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