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Original poster

Does your partner compliment you?

36 replies

Ellena646 · 09/05/2022 12:16

Hi, I am just curious to know how you all feel about compliments? My partner hasn't paid me one in the six months that we've been together. Now, I consider myself to be an independent person who is happy with myself overall, but it does feel a little bit "off"... Am I reading too much into this, or not?

OP posts:
OnTheBenchOfDoom · 09/05/2022 14:57

Dh compliments me on my physical appearance which after 2 children , several surgery scars and 25 years together my body is now past my personal prime. He also compliments me on my skills, from cooking his favourite foods to painting and decorating as he is rubbish at that but can profile a skirting board which I have never attempted. He leaves me hand drawn hearts stuck inside the fridge, draws hearts on my coffee with cream also on my car door window when the car is icy after first de-icing my windscreen.

I am not particularly arsed about the personal comments on what I am wearing or how I look but I do appreciate him noticing the things I do and the effort of the little things that show me he cares about me. I also do similar things back to him.

In your case it does sound like he cares but possibly doesn't know how to express it or wants to express it.

Original poster
Ellena646 · 09/05/2022 21:14

Thank you all for sharing your stories... it's really revealing how different we all are with our partners, and how "love language" is important and something that I had not considered... I will share that the other night I couldn't get warm after a long, cold walk... I was just so cold and while I was in the bath trying to warm up, he moved to my side of the bed to "warm it up for me"... I think his love language is "caring and doing"... 😊

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ValBiro · 09/05/2022 22:23

That's so sweet OP! It's things like that that mean something to me now too. I think it's positive that you are able to reflect on it without feeling hurt. It took me a long while into my relationship with DH to understand that, but it's been worth it!

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Neverreturntoathread · 09/05/2022 23:50

Very rarely tbh.

Sunnytwobridges · 10/05/2022 00:02

My ex NEVER complimented me. Even when I complimented him.

well he would compliment me sexually but I never cared about those types of compliments altho he expected me to be overly thrilled about them🙄

Dundonian · 10/05/2022 00:15

15 years together and my husband compliments me and tells me how much he loves me every day. I find it odd and quite sad that you partner has never paid you a compliment. Is he affectionate, tactile etc otherwise? Does the lack of compliments upset you?

FantaLover · 10/05/2022 00:25

We're together 23 years & married 19 years this year. My dh compliments me a lot still both on my appearance & accomplishments.. He's always done so. And I compliment him too. I tell him very often that he's handsome. And sexy. .
He'll always notice if I'm wearing sone thing new or even if its not new but if ed made an effort (for work meetings or lunch out or meeting friends etc) he'll always tell me i look great.

He also shows me with actions that he loves me. He brings me breakfast in bed every day. He makes me hot water bottle every night. Often brings home flowers or wine. He puts a lot of thought into my Christmas/ birthday presents & has never forgotten them or our anniversary.

He does lots of really nice things & I love him so much

quietnightmare · 10/05/2022 00:29

Do you compliment him ?

Original poster
Ellena646 · 10/05/2022 00:52

I have found it upsetting if I've made an effort on a night out e.g. wearing a dress etc. (I usually wear jeans) and he just says, "You're wearing a dress"... silence... or "Are we dressing up?" It feels like the lack of compliment at the end is almost an insult? But he is otherwise very kind, so I might be getting that interpretation wrong?

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Original poster
Ellena646 · 10/05/2022 00:55

Yes! Just last night we went out to a gig and I told him he looked very handsome, which I have done before... I met him outside another gig and told him that a while ago and his response was, "You scrub up pretty well yourself"... That's been the closest to a compliment I've ever got, and yet he held my hand all night and although he was very tired from a super long drive, went out of his way to find a late night restaurant because I was hungry, before making a long drive home.... he's good like that...

OP posts:
Original poster
Ellena646 · 10/05/2022 01:08

My ex used to compliment me quite a lot, but before that I was married for a long time to a man who didn't compliment me and wasn't affectionate at all, the latter being why I struggled in the relationship. My current partner is affectionate, just not very vocal about it.. perhaps we do have a different "love language"... I am very vocal.. chatty I suppose....tend to use my words if I think something

OP posts:
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