Well I just emptied the bin, which is usually DHs job,

[IvyLeagueUnderTheSea]

but it needed doing and I had my shoes on so it made sense.
I must be doing it wrong though as at no time did I feel the need to moan or complain. Neither did I need to announce to the entire house that I was about to do it or had done it. I didn’t need to huff and puff so everyone knew I was doing it. I also didn’t need a 20 minute shit in preparation.

What did I get wrong?

(This is a lighthearted thread and DH is not a twat)

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 instead of Dressing Gown of Doom, DH favours the Hooded Sweatshirt With The Hood Firmly Up when the going gets tough.

Today he waxed lyrical about his favoured technique for hanging out washing. I've checked my records and I'm pretty sure he hasn't hung washing out since 2020. Probably due to Covid. 🤷🏻

@LyndaSnellsSniff do you call him ‘Robin the hooded one’ in a sing song voice? 🤣

I’m now going to be singing when the going gets tough, the tough get hooded ….all week.

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 😆 😂

Technique for laundry.

1. drop laundry on floor and prod with toe.
2. step over laundry and prod with toe. Sniff air, wrinkle nose.
3. ask if the washing machine is going to be switched on anytime soon.
4. repeat step 2
5. make coffee and toast, spread crumbs and butter over all available surfaces and door handles. Bonus points if one or more cats get buttered in the process.
6. repeat step 2
7. sigh heavily, check weather app.
8. shove everything from step 1 into washing machine.
9. exclaim loudly if anyone wants anything washing.
10. declare loud enough for neighbour to hear, that the washing machine is too full, proceeds to take some laundry out of the machine.
11. pause, scratch beard, ask if the machine has any laundry liquid in it.
12. repeat step 8 and switch machine on.
13. declare afternoon snooze time.
14. wake up repeat step 5.
15. check machine has indeed finished.
16. look for laundry basket, ask where laundry basket is, fail to locate laundry basket.
17. wear laundry basket on head and pretend to be a dalek.
18. empty washing into basket and go outside.
19. wander around garden looking for something to put laundry basket on, as the ground is too far from his hands. Puts basket on the ground.
20. proceed to peg out washing. This may require multiple attempts before the male is happy with his artistic arrangement of 6 socks, 3 pants, 2 shirts and 1 pair of work trousers. - on a 40foot line.
21. retreat inside and forget about laundry now being rained upon, the laundry basket now being fought over by feral cats and repeat step 5.

mission accomplished.

My dh was very pleased when I got a washer dryer because he 'can't work it'.

He just can't. The technology is too advanced.

He is 40 and past the age where he can learn new things.

I really feel for him.

@Summerholidayorcovidagain

I think a sticker chart stuck on the middle of the fridge is the way to go

🏅DP's Special Big Boy Bin Chart🏅

Always nice to be able to show it off to friends when they come round for a beer

You didnt leave the back door wide open and start a conversation with the neighbours (also taking the bins out) about how busy you are at work and then come back and complain about why the heating is always on.

Ahh @NeverDropYourMooncup - your work here is done - unfurl your cape, take MagicCat under one arm, and fly into the morning looking for other mere Mortal Men to aid with your technical wizardry- or should that be whizzardry? The female form of wizard but less witchy....

[If you can fly here and sort out our bloody wifi I'd be most grateful ]

🤣

My DH does the bins regularly and never does any of the above! That's all me..😁except for the 20min poo. 🤣

😂😂😂I salute you and bow down in awe at your superior Freesat voodoo skills.

@NeverDropYourMooncup I salute you. Your technical feats cannot be matched.

You realise of course that all this doing of “Very Important Husband Jobs Without Having To RetireTo The Sofa For The Afternoon” is going to get you all burnt at the stake because it must be Witchcraft.
@NeverDropYourMooncup - you are definitely the first on the list.
(but if you could just pop round and link up Spotify to my wireless speakers beforehand I’d be forever grateful)

Mine too. He gave the teenagers an utter bollocking on Friday because they’d left their shoes and bags on the hall floor instead of putting them away then I went into the hall and he had FOUR of his own pairs of shoes, two hoodies and a coat, plus the bag he’d taken his lunch to work in all littering the hall and porch floor.
I quietly asked him if he was giving himself the same (completely OTT) bollocking and he said “I’ve been at work all day” 🙄

Ah the front porch, hall, clutter. Shoes, jumpers, coats, rucksack would build up into a mountain if I didn't pick up and put away. Not one item mine because I've discovered that secret hall cupboard door where coats reside, the front porch chest where shoes live. The jumpers I pile up in front of the bedroom TV he has to switch on to go to sleep.

My husband messaged me while I was at work " I put the washing machine on" I replied with a gold star.

I don't understand why he has to message me that or give a verbal to do list.

DH can’t work any technology that involves washing without asking me. And then he complains it’s too complicated. He is an IT bloke with many various hugely complex systems around the house.

I have to empty the bin, take the recycling out, empty the dishwasher, clean the bathroom, do all housework laundry and shopping actually. Have to look after the pets, mow the lawn, clean the windows, sort the car out (petrol, tyre pressure, oil, water, MOT...).

I moan like hell about it! I mutter and curse and complain. I'm just like your DH actually.

However, I live alone! 😂

Unless you 'forgot' to put a new bag in you have failed the task...

Usually find the bin absolutely full to bursting .Usually cries of "Oh Im just about to empty it ,still room for some more " umm "No there isnt!"

I love this thread! I thought mine was the only one! Taking the bins out is apparently his job but he can't possibly work out which ones go out each week.

He can't possibly look at the leaflet on the fridge, nor look at what the neighbours have put out or check the council website! He also has to put on multiple layers on plus proper shoes before leaving the front door and walking 20 paces to the edge of the drive! I would honestly take less time if I was packing for an arctic expedition!

Omg! This has brought back a memory!
DP had just emptied bin. Teen DD had just finished a packet of crisps and popped packet in bin. DP mumbled 'blinking heck I've just emptied that'
For the rest of day DD left all her rubbish on side with a note saying 'you have just emptied bin so don't want to fill it up again. X'
DP hasn't moaned since

You mean you didn’t wait until it was full to overflowing

I think you mean "didn't wait until it was full, push it down to get more in, repeat 10 times and then start an overlow bin you leave perched on the floor....."

As an accompaniment to the bin struggle, DH gets unreasonably annoyed if I put anything in the waste paper bin in the sitting room, presumably because he then has the additional task of emptying it into the larger bin.
I just look at him in amazement until he winds down.

What you have there is known round these parts as a SpoonyFucker!