How late is too late to knock for your balls?

[beddingwedding]

Next door keep on landing their balls, obviously accidentally, into my garden.

Their dad knocks each time, with one of them with him.

Last night I was in the bath and heard a knock. Silence. Then bang bang! I went down a bit concerned at it was then again asking for their balls

They looked apologetic but still. I sent H to throw them over

The night before it was 10pm, I could easily be seen through the kitchen window sorting washing. They knocked and asked again

How late is too late as ideally I don't want to interact with anyone when I'm 'getting ready for bed'

If you throw them back, they don't need to knock! You are the one being unreasonable.

@RosesAndHellebores How do I know they've landed? I don't think I've ever known unless I was in the garden at the time

7.31 is too late. They need a better supply of balls if they send them over so often.

I’d ask them to buy more balls and tell them that you’ll throw them back each morning but in the evenings it’s inconvenient for them to be knocking. If they’re a bit more careful then they won’t have a problem!

10pm is obviously far too late.
Personally I'd say for them not to knock but that you will throw balls back when you are in your garden.
Or if you have a side gate tell them they can collect them between say 5pm and 6pm each evening without disturbing you.
When I was little we used to just climb through to get them.

Tell them you will throw back their balls once per day at, say, tea time.

Let them know that knocking is disrupting you sometimes (could you blame wfh / shifts etc?) and that they shouldn't knock.

Clag a note to the door. Don't ask for fucking balls past 6pm, you won't get an answer.

8:00 or earlier when it gets dark.

Ask the dad to put up a some long fence posts and net

I would say 9pm.

i do love mumsnet 🙄

I would ask them not to call after 6pm and then not answer the door.

If you throw them back, they don't need to knock! You are the one being unreasonable.

So OP has to spend all her time looking out for balls coming over her fence, and rush out immediately to throw them back? She isn't allowed to take a bath, in case a ball comes over?

OP, I think after dark is definitely unreasonable. After dinner, when people have settled down for the evening, is pushing it. I think you could say you or DH will try to go out once a day, when you get home from work for example, and throw back any balls you see, otherwise they'll have to wait. (Obviously there will be days when you can't do that, and they'll have to wait a bit longer.)

There comes a point when children are too big to play ball games in the garden and they should go somewhere else.

Also how awful would it be if the balls keep landing on your new spiky plant… and go back over with a nice slow puncture

This must be a joke surely? 🙄

The thing is that I have a baby girl here and my DS who's 4. DS is profoundly autistic and has been taken by surprise a few times when a ball comes in

I've often heard them shout 'don't touch it!' And he doesn't because he has 0 interest in playing any ball games but I do think they're getting quite rude

Other times I've heard them say 'well throw it over then ' when DS is out there playing with water or stones

I have to shout back 'sorry, he can't talk. Here you go'

I’d ask them not to knock at all for balls and tell them that you’ll throw them back once a day when you’re in your garden.

Whatever time they knock, it’s rude of them to continue being disruptive.

Until it gets dark is ok I think in terms of time.
But it sounds to me like it is the frequency that is the problem, not the time. Weekly max.

After 9pm as I'm usually reading in bed. I've never minded throwing balls back and I appreciated it when neighbors did it for my DS. But if it was reasonably late he would have to wait until the following day.

And they discontinue right now to speak to your child like that.

From your update, I'd go a little more hardline.
Explain it upsets your DS a lot when things come flying over. Suggest they put up some high netting or something to prevent the missiles.

Then as you do use your garden throw back every few days when convenient to you.

My DC send footballs over next door sometimes. We never knock for them as I think that's really disruptive for our neighbours. Instead we have quite a few balls, but if they've all gone over the kids have to stop playing. This seems to work best for us. Neighbours are happy to throw them back, but at a time that suits them.

If you have a baby, tell them they can't knock on the door past whenever her bedtime is - as it will wake her up.

As for the way they speak to your son, I'd be having a chat to their parent about that, too.

I know it’s just the British way to say sorry for everything, but OP, please stop saying sorry that your son can’t talk.

If anyone spoke to my four year old in that way when they were playing in their own garden, there’s no way they’d be getting their balls back without a knife being put through them first.

What cut off time is good for you? If you want to unwind and conduct the bedtime routine undisturbed (as would I) next time they come round (or whenever the opportunity presents itself) tell them something along the lines of "sorry, if the ball comes over past 7pm I'll have to chuck it back the next day. We're tied up settling the little ones in the evening"

I'd keep it pleasant for the sake of neighbourly harmony but put it out there that it's disturbing your evenings.

I would say 9 p.m. is a reasonable cut off time. But I'd be less concerned about the time and more concerned about the frequency. I wouldn't want to be answering the door and going hunting for lost balls five times a day, for example. Even if you're not in the bath, you could be in the middle of dishing up dinner or watching your favourite TV programme or something. If it's happening a lot during the day, then I'd make an arrangement that once a day you'll have a walk around the garden and throw back any lost balls. If they're hassling your DS then I'd explain to your neigbour (assuming they don't already know) that he can't/won't throw the balls back.

If you were out at work all day, they'd have no option but to wait for you to come home.

Knocking for balls is annoying full stop. Say you will put them back over at your convenience