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Original poster

Cat has been killed

32 replies

LittleEsme · 03/05/2022 09:11

Sorry for this sad post. I'm posting for advice. I've collected her and she's wrapped here in a blanket. Her twin cat is pacing around looking for her.

What do I do? Do I allow her twin near her? DC are in school and they'll be crushed when they get home. Sad

OP posts:
Cubangal · 03/05/2022 09:16

LittleEsme · 03/05/2022 09:11

Sorry for this sad post. I'm posting for advice. I've collected her and she's wrapped here in a blanket. Her twin cat is pacing around looking for her.

What do I do? Do I allow her twin near her? DC are in school and they'll be crushed when they get home. Sad

So sorry about your Dcat.
Yes, let her twin near her. It helps them to realise what has happened.

Newfluff · 03/05/2022 09:16

I am so sorry, I have always let the remaining animals have a sniff and stay with the one that has passed. Animals do understand death in their own way and I'm sure that they grieve and have a healthier grieving process when they know there mate has died rather than disappeared.
As for the children have a funeral it is a horrible experience to go through but it is such an important learning experience and a chance to discuss their emotions. Please don't be afraid to show your sadness.

Maydaysoonenough · 03/05/2022 09:17

So sorry op. One of mine (2 brothers) was pts so he didn't see him. We did end up getting a dkitten as dcat was depressed. Waited 6 months but should have got one sooner..

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Cats
Mumtobe0204 · 03/05/2022 09:20

Really sorry for your loss. Whatever you do it will be a difficult day :(

I would probably let her twin near her, so that at least the other cat knows what happened and is no longer looking for her.

I would not show her to the kids, i would probably take her to the vet to get cremated and then bury the ashes with kids somewhere.

WaltzingToWalsingham · 03/05/2022 09:23

Sorry about your poor cat 💐I would allow your other cat to see and smell the dead cat. Then, she will know that the other cat has died and will hopefully stop searching. If she doesn't want to approach the dead cat, that's ok - don't force it.

Sometimes the surviving cat from a pair changes personality when they become an "only cat". For example, a previously timid cat may become more confident.

I hope your children won't be too upset. You don't say how old they are, but for younger children, the book Goodbye Mog byJudith Kerr, explains things quite nicely.

Lacedwithgrace · 03/05/2022 09:24

I'm so sorry OP.

Do let the twin near her, they'll know what's happened and won't go out searching for her as they would if they thought she'd disappeared.

If you're burying rather than cremating do it now, but have a funeral with the children later, share memories etc. It'll help them come to terms with it

Squiff70 · 03/05/2022 09:27

So sorry for your loss. I'd definitely let the cat's sibling have a little supervised time with its twin. Animals understand death, in whatever capacity that is, and its almost certainly kinder for them to know rather than to not understand, search and pine for their companion.

Original poster
LittleEsme · 03/05/2022 09:39

Thank you.
She's wrapped in a blanket and I've laid her on our garden and sat with her. Twin cat is skittish and has approached her and taken time to 'realise' it's her. She's now in the deepest recesses of the airing cupboard and won't come out. I'll leave her there for now Sad

We're moving house very soon. I think we'll have the opportunity to bury her in our 'new' garden. It's a family home so I think my teens would prefer that.

God Sad

OP posts:
growinggreyer · 03/05/2022 09:42

Be aware that the body will begin to smell very shortly. I think the vet's for cremation is your best option if you are not moving today.

Lonelycrab · 03/05/2022 09:43

Nothing to add but Flowers for you and your dc. Know how it feels and it’s horrible Sad

CrunchyCarrot · 03/05/2022 09:45

I'm so, so sorry for your loss, OP. Have been through a number of cat deaths myself over the past year, although none via an accident. I'm glad you let her twin see her, it's important. It might be better to go for cremation, though. You can scatter the ashes in your new garden.

cushioncovers · 03/05/2022 09:57

So sorry for your loss op. You've done the right thing letting your other cat see and smell their sibling that's passed. They need to grieve as well.

Irishfarmer · 03/05/2022 10:12

So sorry about your cat 😢you done the right thing though in letting the other cat see her. Twin cat will be very distressed for a few days, I'm sure you will but plenty of tlc is needed.

CutesyUserName · 03/05/2022 10:19

This happened to one of our lovely cats on Mother's Day last month. We buried him in the garden with stones to mark the spot.

You say you'd like to bury him in the garden of the house you are moving to. If that's not within the next few days, I'd consider an alternative. Sorry about your lovely cat :(

DidILetHerDown · 03/05/2022 15:19

We are going through the same thing right now - Dcat was killed yesterday. I'm very sorry you are going through the same thing.

As an alternative, there are some private woodlands near us which offer 'eco burials' for pets as well as humans. Because it's woodland, you dont have to pay the same upkeep as cemeteries etc, but you can choose to have a plant planted there, or a plaque if you'd prefer. Its not as expensive as you might think.

Alternatively, if you are moving soon but not today etc, they're are pet chapels of rest, which may be able to keep your kitty in appropriate conditions until you get the keys to your new home.

Greatoutdoors · 03/05/2022 15:23

I’m so sorry. This happened to us too. We let his brother see him but he was very spooked, much like yours. Sending you lots of love. It’s a horrible sadness that you feel.
🌺

Maytodecember · 03/05/2022 15:50

Yes, definitely let the other cat near. My dog grieved terribly after my cat was pts. I was told I should have let her near him.
I’m really sorry to hear about your cat.

Original poster
LittleEsme · 03/05/2022 20:35

Thank you, everyone - truly lovely posts and they've brought me some comfort.

We have a very quiet house here tonight. TwinCat has emerged from her airing cupboard and has been pacing the garden with her ears rotating, looking for signs of her sister. Heartbreaking.

DD's are heartbroken and decided swiftly to get her cremated with our lovely local vets. We'll scatter her ashes when we move and plant something lovely. DH who claimed to dislike them intensely, has sobbed and sobbed. Somehow that's worse. I cannot cry -
I don't know why.

@DidILetHerDown I'm sorry you have lost your cat too. They're such a huge part of us all.

OP posts:
NamechangeFML · 03/05/2022 20:39

awww OP sorry to hear youve had to go through that
keep an eye on your twin cat for signs of stress UTIs ok? You can buy plug ins that help with stress too.

Antarcticant · 03/05/2022 20:45

So sorry to hear this, OP. Try a Feliway plug in for her sister - it has a calming effect - but she will probably continue to look for her twin for some time, which is always heartbreaking to see. Flowers

Original poster
LittleEsme · 03/05/2022 21:10

Thanks both @NamechangeFML and @Antarcticant - I'll have a look at that now.

Just want to say farewell to my little shadow. Here she is in all her cheeky-chubby glory Star

Cat has been killed
OP posts:
Rupertpenrysmistress · 03/05/2022 21:28

Beautiful dcat🥺. I am so sorry, these furry little friends are so hard to lose. It sounds like she was very much loved. Hope her twin (and you) are ok.

Absentmindedwoman · 03/05/2022 21:42

She's lovely Flowers

I am sorry for your loss.

3kidsaremorethanenough · 03/05/2022 21:44

Flowersso sorry op it's completely heartbreaking, they become another member of the family don't they. I hope your DC & you are ok. I did smile when I read that your DH was sobbing, not
because he is upset but because my DH is exactly the same with our DCat, is all over him when he thinks we don't see and would be devastated if anything happened him. They win you over though that's the thing and you don't even realize it 💕

What a beautiful girl Flowers her poor sister lots of head rubs for her now

Mumto7moboy · 03/05/2022 21:49

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