I've realised I actually hate driving.

[GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal]

I thought it was certain journeys I disliked, but no, I've recently had the realisation that I just actually hate driving, and it doesn't matter where I'm going or how long the drive is.

It manages to be both stressful and boring and I'm going out of my way to avoid it. Currently sat on a bus that will take 45 minutes to get to where I'm going instead of the 20 I could do it in the car, but at least I can relax, Mumsnet, read my book or just zone out whilst someone else does the hard work of driving!

Anyone else?

I can't drive (failed test at 17, now in my 40s). I have no desire to drive but feel that I'm a bit of a weirdo to be like that. Despite many other accomplishments in life, I know my parents see it as a failure that I can't drive. I have two other friends same age as me who can't drive. Everyone else makes it look so easy but for me it's impossibly difficult.

I've never relied on others to ferry me around, but when I have been a passenger I used to be happy to be a car passenger and could never understand why my mum hates being a passenger (even on long journeys, she will do all the driving, never shares it with my dad). But I'm now a really nervous passenger - especially on motorways. Maybe stems from being knocked off my bike a couple times by cars in my 30s, not sure. I don't cycle now either, and that's directly as a result of the bike accidents (but wasn't a big cyclist before that anyway).

Just feel a bit down about it all and wish I was more 'normal'!

I've been driving for 40 years but after having a panic attack on a motorway 8 years ago I no longer drive on motorways or busy dual carriageways. I live in a rural area so it's not a huge problem day to day but it does mean that DH does all the long distance driving.
Living rurally also means that giving up driving is also not an option as public transport is neither frequent or reliable. In fact it is virtually impossible to get to some of the neighbouring towns as there are no connecting buses without a 1 hour journey to the county town and another 1 hour journey out in another direction. So a 2 hour bus journey (plus waiting between the 2 buses) to get somewhere 8 miles away which takes 15/20 mins in the car.

Wow really? How on earth can anyone hate driving??? I adore it! Especially long drives on motorways/dual carriageways. The only place I'm truly happy is behind the wheel!

Really ? You lack the understanding that we are all different ?
I mean, I don't hate driving, but it is pretty easy to grasp the concept that there are other people who do.

I am with you! Instead of owning a car we bought a house in a central place with public transport. Saves a lot of time otherwise wasted in traffic…

I have a similar background to you op. Only got my car when I was 35 and had baby dd. I drive as it makes my life easier and we can do things that would otherwise be difficult. But I don't enjoy it and wouldn't mind never driving again!

I am with you all the way!
I grew up in Southern California… sunshine state yet you spend your life in a car. It’s so unhealthy. I moved back briefly to California from the UK in 2001 and I was on a truck route (they’re mental in California. They should just call them 6 Feet Undertakers) then had to cross about five million lanes on a freeway at night with baby DC in the back when I had my ‘fuck.this.shit’ epiphany. Moved back here a few months later and never drove again.
I love being able to get places without grinding my teeth and feeling all strung out. I don’t feel limited in the least. And I really loved not having to strap kids into car seats and deal with tantrums mid-drive.
Nowadays I get, “Yeah but wouldn’t it be great to drive your dog to the seaside, change of scene?! He’s missing out!” No he’s not. The grass here smells of fox poo and other dogs’ wee. Bliss! He’s fine!

I hate it too. In the aftermath of a traumatic event I was driving along a country road when I suddenly had this urge to crash at high speed. Obviously I didn't, I parked on the verge and cried instead. Was diagnosed with ptsd not long afterwards and have had loads of therapy since. However, I'm terrified it might happen again and I can remember it so clearly.

I feel awful about it. We live rurally and we need to travel long distances regularly so if would be so much easier for dh if we shared the driving. He thinks I'm an excellent driver and doesn't see the problem. I think I'm a disaster waiting to happen.

I hate driving too. I am terrified of making a mistake that will cause someone harm or cost me hundreds of pounds. I also find it so bloody inconvenient sometimes. If I park somewhere and go walking or to the shops, I have to go all the way back to get the wretched thing to go home instead of jumping on the bus or train wherever I've ended up. I have to find parking places, and change to pay for parking, then remember what time to come back.

I can't do without a car completely where I live, so I do drive but as little as I possibly can. I hate the noise and smell of cars, and the ugly way they clutter up the street, and all the ugly carparks and petrol stations they need to have built, not to mention roads and driveways. I hate the way they turn everyone into twats - moaning about ten minutes of congestion, apoplectic with rage about having to pay £1.50 to park, and whining bitterly about having to park 5 minutes walk away as though this was an unbearable hardship for them (no disabilities etc)

I love driving. Spent silly money and time on fuel on aimless journeys. Put some loud music on, and drove about for hours. Used to go up and down several junctions of the M4 for no reason whatsoever.
What I hated was being used as a free taxi by friends, or driving in the rain at night.

Hate it. Learned at 17, passed my test first time, been driving for 25 years with no points and only accident was somebody driving into me (ie their fault). Still hate it.

Given the option I’d take a train every time. Chance to read a book, drink a coffee, look out of the window, answer some emails. The only positive to driving was that I could keep up with The Archers and the Today program (while sitting in a traffic jam to and from work).

I sold my car a couple of years ago and just use a Zipcar now, and it is great. Use it far less than I did the car, literally only when I have no choice.

Incidentally one of the main things I use the car for is a mobile storage locker - ie if DH and I go for a run and want warm dry clothes and a flask of coffee afterwards, or if DS is doing a club and we want to dump his sports things somewhere while we go for lunch afterwards.

If only normal train stations had lockers like they do in eg Austria and Switzerland, I could just dump a bag of stuff and come back for it later.

I have a love hate relationship with driving. I love my car, I can carry round everything I need and pick up furniture to renovate etc. I'm not a fan of driving at night, but otherwise quite enjoy the me time.
But every time we visit the Netherlands, I come home thinking it would be great to use public transport and cycle, then I have a few near misses cycling on the horrendous local roads and I remember the sixty minute drive to my Mum's takes 3 trains or an assortment of trains and buses and she's not even remote. Everytime we plan to go anywhere there's never a direct train.
I'll stick with driving.

I would absolutely love driving (me and my little car happy together!) if there were no-one else on the roads.

I loathe driving. I do it as i have to get to work and go shopping etc. i do local, prefer narrow country roads. I hate dual carriageways and only do that if i really have to. Since lockdown, I’ve noticed how poor the standard of driving is.

Ive never driven on a motorway. Nearest is 2 hours away so…. DH likes driving and isnt at all comfortable in the passenger seat.

so it suits us.

DD 1 prefers local, DD2 will drive anywhere.

I don’t hate it, but I certainly don’t love it, either. And certain journeys would have taken a lot longer and been a major PITA without a car - the 60 miles to my elderly mother once a week - an hour and a half in the car - would have taken 3 hours plus by train and bus.
Ditto the journey now to a dd and Gdcs - same sort of distance, same sort of timings.
Having said that, we have very good public transport locally (SW London) so I hardly ever use my car for short journeys. Dh does, though- he uses it far more than I do.

Public transport can be really useful.
I love driving, but I also detest bad drivers. And what is it now with people seemingly avoiding Lane 1 (‘slow’ lane) on the motorway? Sometimes you look ahead and think that we’re all driving on the continent because there’s only the occasional car or lorry in that lane and everyone else piled into the other two lanes! Aaargh! Get thee over!
And middle lane drivers!
This has turned into a bit of a rant. Oops. 😁

You've totally twisted what I said there, well done.

I don't love driving but I especially loathe it in my city which is so congested. I hate traffic and feel very full of rage which is not a trait I like in myself.

I usually cycle or walk if it's under three miles (which I guess is better for the planet) but if I will be coming back after dark or it's bad weather I drive and just feel such a sense of annoyance.

I am desperate for teleportation to be invented.

I'm not keen on it at all, it serves a purpose and does make life easier but I'd love to never have to drive again.

I used to be extremely anxious about driving, to the point that I basically didn't do it. Getting an automatic cured the fear, but I am absolutely not a natural driver and I don't like cars. Nasty smelly dangerous things.

I hate driving too OP. I am prone to being anxious and driving just makes me feel extremely anxious the entire time I’m behind the wheel. I learned at 29, it took me
5 attempts to pass and then I’ve never needed to drive everyday so I haven’t built up that feeling of it being second nature.

I haven’t driven for a few years but it’s getting more necessary to do so, and I’m getting back behind the wheel today for a short journey. I am also probably going to get myself a small electric car as I think I’d be better with an automatic.

As much as I hate it, I also want to be able to drive when I need to.

@TulipsGardenI am really hoping that an automatic will do this for me too. I am also not a natural driver.

I've gone off it since lockdown ended. Before lockdown, I used to drive all over the country for work and loved it. I always did enjoy driving, to the point I did the advanced driving course and test and then tutored people. I loved nothing more then jumping in the car and driving hundreds of miles to go to the office or a client.

I did my first long distance trip in two years the beginning of this year and hated it, I couldn't understand what I originally enjoyed about being behind the wheel for hours on end.

I've got to do a longish drive tomorrow and to say I could wish it further is an understatement, I just really don't want to do it anymore. I've got no choice, as public transport where I live is shocking, so I do need to use the car.

Ive always liked driving and riding. I love going places. l like my current car and driving it. I live in a city but traffic isn't an issue as its not overpopulated. I like my motorbike more for commuting and the social/fun side to it. Parking is free for both right next to the office. It's a 20 minute drive or 10-15 minute ride as I can overtake and filter at traffic lights.

Cycling to work takes 35 to 40 minutes depending how windy it is. I've tried it once this year so far as the weather hasn't been optimal and I can't turn up to meet clients looking sweaty and/or bedraggled.

A bus commute takes 45 minutes and the stop nearest to the office is a 15 minute walk away. The bus Id have to get to work is rammed with schoolchildren, I pass it in the car and it looks like a mobile zoo, and doesn't seem to move more than 50 yards without stopping. I did that journey once and swore never to do it again. The return journey is just as bad, it goes over a (not particularly steep) hill but people will get on at the bottom and get off at the next stop at the top. It'd be a less than 1 minute walk 🤯. There's usually someone eating stinky food/ listening to music via a speaker/having loud inane phone convo also.

Train takes about 15 minutes but there's a 10 minute walk to and from both stations. It's always standing room only on the return commute.

Neither method of public transport takes me to the nearest supermarket. If I want to visit my parents 20 miles away, it's over an hour and 2 trains each direction and the service isn't the most reliable, there are frequent disruptions/delays at the junction I have to change at. My best pal lives 20 miles away rurally where there's 2 buses a day and shes 4 miles away from the nearest train station.

So for me there's 2 obvious choices even if I didn't particularly like driving. I know I'd prefer convenience. Being able to MN or shop online on a bus/train just wouldn't sway me. There's actually no signal on the train as its in a cutting for the majority of the route and there's miles of tunnels.

My DP would rather spend 120mins round trip to take DD to weekly piano lesson rather than 30mins by car then complain it takes to long. DP does drive though avoids it. Is the correct action just to leave DP to their chosen means?

Is the correct action just to leave DP to their chosen means?

I would. They can't really complain and expect to be taken seriously, if they choose to take the longer way.