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Original poster

‘It’s like trying to choose your favourite child’

100 replies

PriamFarrl · 29/04/2022 21:45

I heard this phrase again today but I’ve never really thought about it.

I’m not in the position to be able to choose a favourite child, but, if you have more than one child, and you know that no one will ever know, do you have a favourite?

OP posts:
JennyForeigner · 30/04/2022 18:55

I have three kids from one NHS funded IVF cycle. They look and are as different from each other as they could possibly be!

Sometimes I look at my blonde engineer, my blue eyed shouty firecracker girl and hazel eyed gentle boy and marvel that that's the variation you can get in one try. Love them all with absolute equality and always will.

Kite22 · 30/04/2022 19:43

tuliplover · 30/04/2022 14:59

While people may love their kids equally, I bet there's one they like more. I was my mother's favourite. She didn't treat me any different, but I knew it. We just got on in a certain way. My older sister was my dad's favourite- again I couldn't say why I know this but I think they just could relate to each other more. He was a doctor and she is one now (different field though). We have another sibling...
My daughter and I get on really well. We have similar personalities and energy levels and tolerance of people. We are both quite self contained. My son is the opposite. We've always slightly rubbed against each other and I've always found him exhausting. He's very high energy and gregarious snd needs to be kept busy and gets his energy from being with other people. I love them both equally, but I get on with her more.

Nope.
I think my dc are all different from one another.
Obviously I love them all the same. But I do actually like them all too.

No, I genuinely don't, which surprised me. Prior to my second I thought maybe everyone secretly had a favourite. I wonder if parents do once their kids are adults and you see the person they really are?

No. My 3 are adults and I definitely don't have a favourite.

Autienotnaughtie · 30/04/2022 19:49

Yes I have a young ds and two teen dd. I love my little boy in a different way to the older ones as he's still adorable. But even the two dd there is one I connect to better than the other.

ClinkeyMonkey · 30/04/2022 21:08

I have 2 boys of 13 and 9 and love them both equally. I didn't think it would be possible to love another child as much as my first. I would say I'm closer to the youngest as he is more clingy, but I get along better with my eldest. I hope I'll get along just as well with the youngest in 4 years' time when he's 13 though.

My mum always said she didn't have a favourite. There were three of us - two girls and a boy (the youngest) and she definitely favoured my brother. He was always more affectionate towards her, while my sister and I would rather have boiled our own heads than do hugs. In saying that, my mum always waited for hugs to come to her. I don't know why my sister and I were so averse to affection. I still am, except with my children. There's probably hours of therapy in there!

trevthecat · 30/04/2022 21:18

I have 3. All very different personalities and interests. One with sen. I do have favorites, but it changes!

Oogabooga123 · 30/04/2022 21:35

I love my 3 equally but they are all very different.

DD1 is 10 which I’ve found is my favourite age, helpful and independent but still loves her mummy, very similar personality to me so we rub along very nicely and have a lot in common.

DS is disabled and I think my relationship with him is very different, there is no communication and my love for him feels more ‘fierce’ I feel as he needs a lot of care and protecting.

DD2 is 7 and is flat out hilarious, and incredibly beautiful but has a lot of her dads personality and there is a reason we are No longer together… I find her harder to manage.

bur I couldn’t pick out a favourite if you get what I mean, if they ask I tell them my favourite is Ddog who does what she’s asked the first time I tell her 😂

mu dad and I had a lot in common and spent a lot of time together because we wanted to, same sense of humour and interests, I always said I was his favourite but then my sisters all think they were his favourite so he obviously did something right.

both sisters say I am my mums favourite, and I’d agree with them now but I think that is only a recent thing. As a child and teen we didn’t get along all that well but the older I’ve got the better we’ve got along, and both my sisters have been back to live with her at some point which I think can strain relationships but I haven’t lived with her since I was 16.

gianaInfertilitySucks · 30/04/2022 21:39

I dont have children yet, but my mum always says that she could never pick a favourite, my mum in law says the same for her children, children in law and grandchildren.

My sister on the other hand says she loves the latest one more because it came out with c section and didn't hurt her 😂

FourTeaFallOut · 30/04/2022 21:41

No. It's easy to love them equally because I love each of them as much as I can.

Ringmaster27 · 30/04/2022 21:50

I have 3 DCs and have favourite aspects of each child if that makes sense?
DC1 is my favourite when it comes to how caring she can be when she knows other people are having a rough time emotionally.
DC2 is my favourite when it comes to sense of humour - his is absolutely cracking!
DC3 is my favourite when it comes to displays of affection - she’s always been way more cuddly than the other 2.
But I could never choose one as my overall favourite!

DontKeepTheFaith · 30/04/2022 22:14

No. One is easier than the other but they are both incredible and I truly believe I love them both equally.

itsmeagainlol · 01/05/2022 09:42

Yes. However I give them equal attention.

Dynamicsloth · 01/05/2022 09:50

Definitely not. Different but equal.

My Mum was good at playing a divisive game and both my sister and I believed the other was her favourite. My elder DD is very obviously my Mum’s favourite grandchild which riles everyone.

Sprogonthetyne · 01/05/2022 09:53

At any given time yes, usually whichever one isn't screeming or throwing things.

Justkeeppedaling · 01/05/2022 10:16

No favourite, but I don't

Justkeeppedaling · 01/05/2022 10:17

I don't always like them both equally, depending on what they've been up to.
I tell them I will always love them, but sometimes I temporarily don't like them as much as I could.

shrunkenhead · 01/05/2022 10:27

I grew up knowing my db was the favourite child so chose to only have one myself. I couldn't imagine loving another child as much as I love dd and wouldn't want her growing up doubting who was my favourite.
I'll never know how it all works but I'm always impressed when parents say they love them all equally.

SoupDragon · 01/05/2022 10:31

I have 3 and none of them are the favourite child. I bet if they were asked in confidence they would all say that one of the others is the favourite though.

ShouldOfWouldOfCouldHave · 01/05/2022 10:31

I have a favourite daughter and I have a favourite son.

( I have one of each Grin)

RhubarbFairy · 01/05/2022 10:32

Yes. It's whoever is being the least annoying on any particular day.

Champagneforeveryone · 01/05/2022 11:00

I do, but that's the advantage of having an only child 😉

chisanunian · 01/05/2022 12:46

PriamFarrl · 29/04/2022 22:15

I thought it might be an interesting conversation.
Nothing more than that.

Strange then, that you should start a thread initiating the conversation, and then not take part in it yourself.

One can't help wondering why anyone would do that.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 01/05/2022 13:20

🤔

SallyWD · 01/05/2022 14:15

I genuinely do love mine equally. I love different things about them. One is easier than the other but it doesn't mean I love that one more. I am just more protective of the difficult child.

pentagone · 01/05/2022 14:19

No. Sometimes one is more annoying than the other temporarily, but no. I don't have a favourite. They are each brilliant in their own unique way.

whinetime89 · 01/05/2022 14:28

I have 3 and again don't have a favourite. I sometimes like one more than the others at certain times depending on their fighting but love them all equally

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