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Original poster

So I just cried on the floor in my kitchen like an idiot because I want my mum. When does this get better?

48 replies

LivinLaVidaLoki · 26/04/2022 13:53

My mum died almost 6 years ago. My dad died when I was young.
Generally I do ok. I had therapy after she died and that really helped.
Life at the moment is pretty full on. Work is so busy, I'm 2/3 through a degree and now DS is being bullied.
I'm not sleeping massively well as I go through random bouts of waking in the night and not getting back to sleep.
I am at home today and just completely out of the blue while sorting laundry out I just burst out crying. I want my mum. I want her to help me, to listen to me.
I have a wonderful DH he really is but right now I just want my mum.

OP posts:
Beamur · 26/04/2022 13:57

Grief comes in unpredictable waves. If you were lucky enough (I was too) to have a good Mum, then I think you will always miss them.
Tears and sadness honour their memories. Crying is very therapeutic, it's ok to feel this way sometimes. But if you're feeling like this a lot, maybe you need a bit of real life support and help? Big hugs.

GettingStuffed · 26/04/2022 13:57

I hate to say it never goes totally . Yesterday I walked past our old house and despite mum dying 25 years ago I started crying because I remembered the last Christmas Mum was there. I'm crying now typing this. Luckily days like this get less frequent.

2ndtimemum2 · 26/04/2022 13:57

I'm so sorry op I have no words to make you feel better I lost my dad in March so I know how you feel. Just be kind to yourself. Hopefully someone will be along soon with words of wisdom

MedusasBadHairDay · 26/04/2022 14:01

It's been 10 years since my mum died, it still hits me like a tonne of bricks though. It does happen less often than it initially did, but it still floors me.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 26/04/2022 14:03

Another big hug from me - mum died an excellent death at 97, I'm well into my 60s, and I still have moments where I Want My Mum. Flowers

Powerplant · 26/04/2022 14:04

I want my mum she died 12 years ago. I cry at the most unusual times but I find it releases
pent up frustrations and really helps. I hope things start to settle for you and even when life gets easier you’ll always want your mum🌸

PragmaticWench · 26/04/2022 14:06

Almost two years for me, it hits you unexpectedly sometimes and with as much force as in the early days. I agree with a pp, if we were lucky enough to have a good mum then we're bound to want that closeness and support back.

Hope your peessures ease off soon OP.

NavaniKholinRocks · 26/04/2022 14:07

My mum died about 15 years ago. And even though we weren’t super close, there are still days when the grief hits me particularly hard. Be kind to yourself. Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate. Might help to talk to someone in real life? A good friend, maybe, or even a professional, if that’s something you think would help?

Whatsmyname100 · 26/04/2022 14:08

Oh gosh yanbu at all. Sending you a massive hug. X

antidisestablishmentarianism · 26/04/2022 14:08

Mum died about 5 years ago. I used to call her every day at 8pm, and I still look at the clock around then ready to call her. If something happens I want to tell her, and at the moment I am doing some tricky sewing and I need her help...

So it hasnt gone for me, suspect it wont.

Sending a hug.

ChazzaGirl · 26/04/2022 14:08

I’ve not really got anything to say that hasn’t been said by others, but I just wanted you to know you’re not alone in how you feel. My lovely mum died over 10 years ago and I still have the occasional weep. Mostly though, the happy memories far outweigh the sadness.

Hugs and flowers for you, OP. 💐

JoeGoldberg · 26/04/2022 14:09

I still have my mum, but my dad died 6 years ago almost to the day, and I woke up this morning with such a heavy feeling of missing him it was unbearable. We were very close, and life has never been the same without him.

I don't suppose that feeling will ever go away, and it's always harder when things are happening in life that I know my dad would've had some wise words for, a hug, a coffee.. and he's not there.

I have no quick fixes, I just wanted to offer some solidarity Flowers

SunshiningBoo · 26/04/2022 14:10

Sending you a big hug Flowers

Ponderingwindow · 26/04/2022 14:11

It still hits me from time to time. The worst was in the middle of a supermarket. No idea what started it. Just the most profound sense of missing her.

CMOTDibbler · 26/04/2022 14:13

Big hugs to you. 2 years today since my mum died, and a lot longer since she was really a mum due to her dementia, but there are still times that I just yearn to call her and tell her things.

FatFucker · 26/04/2022 14:15

My mum died over 25 years ago, I'm missing her loads at the moment as I have a horrendous teenager!

I want my mum to laugh and say "Well you were just as bad, if not worse and you turned out ok".

I'm crying now actually, as I type this.

I cry for her at leat once a month. I'm a single parent with no one watching my back. I just want my mum!

ItsDifferentFor · 26/04/2022 14:50

That sometimes happens to me even to this day (after 10 years). I have fantastic memories, but I miss her so much, at random times. What you experience is fairly normal I think, and it shows how great a mum she was, and how much you loved and cared for her. You cry because she meant so much!

spiderlight · 26/04/2022 15:21

I lost my mum over 16 years ago and it still catches me sometimes, seemingly out of nowhere. I miss her so much :(

ehb102 · 26/04/2022 15:34

Grief lessens, if you process it and go through it. This year I missed my mum badly for the first time in several years. It's like riding a wave. Healthiest thing IMO is to go with it, feel your feelings, then when spent climb out again. Giving my feelings space works better for me than trying to cut them off. YMMV.

TimeForGouter · 26/04/2022 15:57

Oh OP I know this feeling well. I was a young child when my Mum died so I don’t have any conception of what an adult relationship with her would be like, but I miss it somehow nonetheless. So yes I don’t really suppose it ever goes away. It’s been 30 odd years for me.
I know this sounds silly but I get so jealous when DH mentions offhand chatting something through with his Mum. There have been so many times when there hasn’t been anyone I’ve felt I could talk to.

Lem0nDrizzle · 26/04/2022 15:59

9 years for my dad and I still cry.
When something reminds me of him or like you, an overwhelming feeling.
I always feel better after a good try so I would just advise to go with it, let it out.

I don't think fried ever goes you just learn to sadly live without them 💔

JustSmallFry · 26/04/2022 16:01

I'm sorry. Grief never goes away fully, does it?

Would it help you to imagine what she might say and do you if she was with you right now?

dontcallmelen · 26/04/2022 16:04

💐for everyone, my mum died seventeen years ago still get days now then when I cry & want to hear her voice big hugs.

WTF475878237NC · 26/04/2022 16:06

I would say it comes and goes throughout life. I was with someone (in her 70s) very poorly recently and she desperately wanted her mum to hold her hand. I'm sorry for your loss OP.

Blossomtoes · 26/04/2022 16:11

You’ve started me off now @LivinLaVidaLoki. It’s more than six years since I lost my mum and there are no words to describe how much I miss her. We were so lucky to have such close and loving relationships with our mums and, sadly, this is the price of that love. 💐

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