So I just cried on the floor in my kitchen like an idiot because I want my mum. When does this get better?

[LivinLaVidaLoki]

My mum died almost 6 years ago. My dad died when I was young.
Generally I do ok. I had therapy after she died and that really helped.
Life at the moment is pretty full on. Work is so busy, I'm 2/3 through a degree and now DS is being bullied.
I'm not sleeping massively well as I go through random bouts of waking in the night and not getting back to sleep.
I am at home today and just completely out of the blue while sorting laundry out I just burst out crying. I want my mum. I want her to help me, to listen to me.
I have a wonderful DH he really is but right now I just want my mum.

I miss my mum so so much she died 7 months ago, she was my everything, everyday we spent together, i still now get the urge to call her to tell her something its unfair.

My dad died 13 years ago both my parents were young when they died, so bloody u fair

My mum died in 2004 when I was 40 and I was pregnant then with my son. He is now 17 and they never ever met. I am an only child and so is my boy. It is quite crap really and never the same. Very few people understand if you ask me. One of those things. Hey ho.

I lost my mum a few months ago and my dad over a decade ago and I cry for both of them. The oddest things can jog a memory. Last week, a party political broadcast made me cry because it reminded me of my dad.
I'm still at the stage where I think 'I'll just call mum' and then realise I can't. It's rubbish OP

I miss my lovely mum beyond words, she is still alive but in the final stages of dementia. We used to talk at least once a day, she was my rock, my best friend, my confidant, advisor. She was so wise and always knew what to say.

My mother died 13 years ago.
The other week I was driving down a local road which has cherry trees either side for a long stretch. I used to come here with Mum when I was a very small child in the summer. All tress were in full bloom, it was so beautiful. I couldn't have timed it better to see the trees at their best. Mum would have loved it.

I just started crying and had tears pouring down my face for minutes with the memory of her and how much I miss her. I long to hear her voice, see her hand writing, hear the phone ring knowing it would be her. It's so sad and so painful. And I'm a grandmother of 4.

So big hugs OP, many of us can empathise and know the grief can appear at any moment.

My Mum died 8 1/2 years ago and I still think of her every few days. I dream about her and she is there with me, then I wake up and feel disappointed she is gone. When I feel under stress, feel unwell, miserable or have some lovely exciting news I desperately want to tell her. I go to her grave to tell her special news like birth of her great grand daughter or son passing lorry driving test. I don't think I will ever stop missing her. You miss her so much because she was always on your side, even when you were wrong she was there for you. I don't think anybody else loves you so completely and unconditionally. DH and my children love me but not quite like Mum did. Crying relieves stress, grief and sadness so is therapeutic.

About 30 years after my DM lost her DM (young), one day my DM suddenly cried - we were out at a cafe and she said how she would have loved to take her own DM as she died before she was an adult.

I lost my DM 20 years ago nearly - and the other day had exactly the same thought as I took DC out for lunch somewhere my DM would have loved. It came over me like a wave and I felt bereft all over again.

The waves get further apart but I don't think they ever completely disappear.

I wonder if you’re a bit a down in the dumps OP. A GP told me many years ago that waking in the night and not being able to go back to sleep is a big sign of anxiety/depression. Maybe a bit more support or counselling or a course of anti-depressants might help you get back on track. Not that it will ease you missing your mum but perhaps if not so tired it won’t be so overwhelming? Big hug x

I hear you. My mum died 29 years ago when I was 16. I burst into tears today because I wanted her after a shit day at work. I walked in from work, stood in the kitchen and sobbed. I don’t do it every day, every week or even every month. But sometimes I get so overcome - I think it’s when I think ‘I will call mum’ and as soon as the thought is there I remember. Doesn’t happen often but when it does it breaks my heart.
Tomorrow I will remember her nicely. Today I am fucked off with her that she died 😂

I'm so sorry. My lovely Mum has been dead for 15 years now and it's still absolutely outrageous to me, and I want her every day. To be fair, she'd be 83 now and not quite the youthful 67 she was when she upped and left us (surprise early death from a side effect of her cancer that we didn't know could finish her off in under a week), so maybe I'd be less sentimental about her if she was still with us! 😜

But seriously, it doesn't get better. I don't mean that in a bad way. We love our Mums, ideally, and they represent a lot more than just "Mum" - they represent the entity that protected us, loved us, took care of us, and those of us who have lost our Mums mourn for her as a concept as much as for the actual living, breathing human being she was.

Today I pulled my DH up on a trait that he always hated in his father, who died a couple of months ago, and said "I'm here to stop you from turning into your Dad, and you stop ME from turning into MY Dad" and he replied "What's stopping you from turning into your Mum instead???" because my Dad's a bit mad, and my Mum was just lovely. Poor Mum.

My mum died in an accident when I was just at uni. It's coming up 25 years. I still feel an ache. Occasionally I still can't believe it. It wasn't supposed to happen, we never said goodbye.

Listening to my MIL wittering on about her neighbours and complaining about everything pisses me off, because she's just such a whinger and doesn't seem to appreciate life.

There are so many experiences and places I'd love to go with my lovely mum. I don't think anyone ever loves you as much as a mother does. I can't really remember what it feels like to have a mum. The pain and ache flares up less frequently, but when it does, it is still as raw as ever.

Sending hugs OP.

My mum died in an accident when I was just at uni. It's coming up 25 years. I still feel an ache. Occasionally I still can't believe it. It wasn't supposed to happen, we never said goodbye.

Listening to my MIL wittering on about her neighbours and complaining about everything pisses me off, because she's just such a whinger and doesn't seem to appreciate life.

There are so many experiences and places I'd love to go with my lovely mum. I don't think anyone ever loves you as much as a mother does. I can't really remember what it feels like to have a mum. The pain and ache flares up less frequently, but when it does, it is still as raw as ever.

Sending hugs OP.

I'm super pissed of at my Mum for dying. Like what the actual hell? She was supposed to meet her grandchildren! CHAT to me. Take care of me. I can't believe she left.

I know it''s awful, but sometimes I hate other people who still have their Mums when I don't get to have mine. I love her so much.

I'm so sorry you lost yours so young, BeeBeeBea.

No matter our ages there are times we just want our mum isn’t there. The support, just a chat or moan.

I am so sorry you feel like that @LivinLaVidaLoki I hope you are feeling a bit better 💐xxx

I am so sorry to hear you are all upset.

apologies if this is inappropriate, but I think it’s lovely that you were all so close to your mothers. Unfortunately I am not close to my parents so can’t imagine feeling like this when they die. I feel so bad for saying this, but I think I’ll just feel some sorrow but also regret, guilt, worry and even relief.

so some rubbish armchair psychology here - you may (not those who lost your mothers unnaturally early 😰) be able to take some comfort from how close you were with them when they were around. You sound so lovely. I do hope I can feel some of what you feel when my parents go.

sorry that you are hurting xx 🌺

I'm so sorry OP. It's ever so hard, isn't it? Only two years for me but while I generally feel OK I do get those overwhelming moments and in some ways it's worse than it was at the beginning, when I felt awful all the time! Now things are more 'normal' so I think the contrast makes it harder.

I think about this picture quite a bit and find it comforting. I hope you do too.

My mum passed away 15 years ago and I grieve still. I cry because I want me mum on occasion too.

I’m so sorry for your loss, OP 💐

My Mum died was I was 29, nearly 19 years ago. I got together with DH later that year - she never got to meet him or my DC. She would have been the most amazing grandma.

A colleague of mine is going on bereavement leave this week, because her grandmother died.

I feel awful, because my initial reaction to that didn’t, I admit, reflect well on me. She’s a couple of years younger than me, so mid-40s.

Both my grandmothers (and one of my grandfathers) had died before I was even born. I lost my Mum at 29 and my Dad at 41 (I am lucky to have had them as long as I did, more than some people).

I can’t even begin to imagine getting to mid-40s and still have a mother, let alone a grandmother.

I have to stop myself from (internally) being so uncharitable. I would never say any of these things out loud (except, maybe, to DH), and I will only focus on her loss.

But it just strikes me as so unfair. That’s life, I guess.

Sorry again for your loss.

I feel awful, because my initial reaction to that didn’t, I admit, reflect well on me.

I completely relate to this. All my grandparents died before I was born. Both my parents were dead by the time I was 25. I once had a bit of an argument with MIL because she was hand wringing about how she would cope when her Mum dies. She is in her 60s. Her Mum is in her 90s. You're a better person than I am because I told her she was being bloody insensitive considering who she was talking to.

My mum never met either of my kids either, DS was born 3 weeks after she died. It's heartbreaking.

So sorry. I understand. My dad died three years ago today. Feels like yesterday. I think about him everyday. At the beginning thoughts of him dominated my every waking hour. Now it's less dominant but it is still there. Grief is the price we pay for love. 💐💐