I find a lot of charity's to be nothing under the surface

[Jobseeker19]

I have contacted Shetler as a last resort about an issue I'm having and was just sent generic links to stuff I have already done that haven't worked. There was no actual help just information that is already out there.

Last year I had a mental health crisis and spoke to Mind online chat and was told about their Elefriends website which was a place to vent. But no actual help given.

If you look on the websites of many charities you will see they talk about how your donation will help someone desperately in need. But when you apply because you are that person in need there seems to be a barrier and are as helpful as uk.gov websites.

[Typo in title edited by MNHQ]

I'm sleepy meant to say nothing under the surface 😴

Sorry to hear about your experiences, but did you actually tell them that you had already read and tried the suggestions on their websites? Did you make it clear that you needed hands-on help and they refused?

I can imagine that they are overwhelmed with people contacting them, so referring to their website would be the logical initial response.

They reply to messages like a spam-bot .

Maybe I should have been more persistent but I have poured my heart out and said how desperate I am and everything I have tried and I feel like they just want to be an information service.

Which doesn't require much input from the charity itself. I also feel misled by what they say they do to help on their websites and social media as I havent felt like I received any help when I have applied to major charities like these two.

Sure enough though I get on the mailing list though and get asked to donate money and help people.

Gosh, I'm just ranting now I must sound pathetic. But it is something to think about. How many charities offer hands on help and how many reply with generic googlable information whilst apologising that there is nothing they can do?

Where do the fundraising funds go?

Absolutely! Certainly big charities seem to exist to keep themselves in business rather than do anything useful. The NSPCC are awful - their services are adult not child focused, time wasting and often useless. RSPCA don’t do much at all for animals. So many charities have huge offices in Central London too. Why?

I used to work for a very small charity. Funds were the main problem and funding was always project based and short term eg one or two years only. This means that the services offered are specific projects and if your need or local area falls outside of that, there is no funding to help you.

Is it anything that mumsnet reds might be able to point you to right places for help and/or information?

Big charities exist to people at the top can earn a lot of money and have somewhere to move to after a scandal

I agree. DD has had mental health issues and every single organisation my family support worker has told me to contact has been a waste of time. Its all info I've already googled and come to a dead end on. There's no actual help, just apps etc

I think they should be called out or at least have case studies that show how they have helped.

Same here, I felt like every corner I turned, I hit a brick wall! I agree in that on the surface there are a choice of services, but when you want to access a service (ie need counselling or a discussion with someone), either that part of the website doesn't exist or (like I found) the phone number is no longer valid or it doesn't actually offer anything but online discussion. It feels like a facade.

I think it depends. I’ve had brilliant support from some cancer support charities, (national and smaller regional) although I appreciate that’s a different area. I’m sorry your experience has been so disappointing, and it’s something I’ve heard many times before in my line of work. The websites talk about amazing support that’s available, but then just signpost you somewhere else.

Yes! I agree with you Mooloolabababy.
Its all surface level for people who want to check its a legit charity and see if they want to donate.
But the help is not there if you want to apply.
Luckily I got furloughed during my crisis but I was suicidal at one point and Prince William and Kate had just spoken about mental health awareness so I sought out help with Mind. But no help was given.

It fells like go away, shoo I have fundraising to do.

I tried to call a fee domestic abuse charities in lockdown- not once did i manage to speak to a human. As you said- endless links to pages id already looked at

MacMillan will never receive another penny from me, they were useless from DH's diagnosis until his death. Our local, small charity were brilliant as were Marie Curie and our local small cancer charity. Support is much harder to come by than all the hype tells you, I am sorry you are finding this too.

As others have said too many of the bigger charities just serve as a vehicle for six figure salaries, job perks, expensive offices and C.V. Clout. The real life help they give is minimal but the opportunities for a handful completely disproportionate.
It irritated me before but some of the sex scandals in recent years have repulsed me so much I don't give money now, ever only my time.
I can't abide the thought of the bit I can spare paying for someone to abuse on tour.
It's always bandied around that a comparable private sector job gets £250.000 etc but how come there aren't any CEOs earning that in the private sector who Volunteer two days a week for free?
Pauline who volunteers at BHF and the cat shelter manages to do a full time job as well but those with that kind of salary never seem to.
Hope you are o.k. Jobseeker and find some help.
(Not Pauline s real name)

I totally agree. My biggest bugbear is Macmillan. They do absolutely sod all. They don't provide actual nursing care or run hospices - unlike Marie Curie - and they don't employ the Macmillan Nurses long term. Palliative care training isn't rocket science or difficult to come by - I was a palliative care nurse for 30 years. What exactly do they do? I have both personal and professional experience of them. Do not donate to them. Give to Marie Curie instead is my advice.

I've worked in the charity sector for many years. I have found some charities like you describe, especially post Covid. In one case, I found people really needed services but can't actually access what a charity provides unless they can pay for it. I hated that.

But there are a couple charities out there who either have enough legacy support or commissions from local government that allow them to provide services for free. It's such a relief to be able to answer the phone and say, "yes, we can help with that."

Large charities like Mind and Shelter are really lobbying organisations to try to get the government to improve their area of focus: mental health or homelessness/housing issues. And that’s actually a good thing - real lasting change in these areas is made by better legislation, more central government funding at a national level so things aren’t a postcode lottery.

Providing a website with well updated current information and helplines is also costly. You might not see it as such, and it might not be the personalised support you want and need, but it’s not something that’s a scam or cheap.

The hands-on personalised support is area dependent and project-funding dependent as a PP has said. You will usually find smaller local charities with a laser focus on only one issue or one way of helping are more practically helpful in the way you want.

I’m sorry for your troubles.

I really don't mean to have a go but if they point you to some online resources and you've already tried them, you do need to say so. If you don't, they will assume those resources have helped solve your issue. They aren't mind readers and they don't have the resources to follow up with everyone. They also can't work miracles - sometimes a landlord can be a dick, for example, and it can be entirely within the bounds of the law.

DH has cancer and we have found both Macmillan and Maggie's incredibly helpful when he has approached them. Incidentally he also works for another big charity (though very much not a big salary) and does volunteer his time there too.

I find the bad faith assumed here to be quite upsetting. No one works for a charity to make money - they would all make far more in the private sector. Instead of assuming conspiracy and laziness has it really not occurred to people that when a charity doesn't answer the phone instantly or their website hasn't been updated with the right phone numbers, this is because they are busy and understaffed?

Large charities like Mind and Shelter are really lobbying organisations to try to get the government to improve their area of focus: mental health or homelessness/housing issues

This^
Many of these large charities are there to raise the profile of issues and to affect legislation at a government and societal level. The help they provide to individuals is really just information based and signposting.
Others its easier to see where your donation goes eg. Running cat rescue shelter or donkey sanctuary

McMillan near me runs a day centre and provides outreach nurse, physiotherapy and occupational therapy

Also agree about those based in central London. Many years ago I temped at the NSPCC in London and I was shocked at the location - the cost of running that building plus London salaries must have been astronomical. I’ve just checked their address and I think it’s still in the same location. Guess the running costs are where a large chunk of donations go to but to be located in central London? Any charity will of course argue that they wouldn’t be able to attract the expertise anywhere else..

It is an awful moment when you realise that all you're going to get is sign-posting, most likely to services you've already accessed.
A family member had a psychotic break and the MH charities I reached out to were underwhelming at best. A very lonely feeling.
Much better to reach out to small, local charities who seem better placed to get people the help they need.
Women's Aid are dynamic and make things happen. I've contacted RSPCA to help with trapped, sick or injured wildlife, and they've been really responsive.

For me its the fact that they are saying they are helping people and if you look on social media and the press they say what they are doing. But they are not doing it.

If you only serve as an information desk then say so, we are only able to give information currently but we do not provide a service.

My issue is that they say they help (get help NOW click here) but when you keep digging or requesting help there is none.

If I would have taken my life there would have been people saying why didn't she seek help or contact a charity, just speak up... not knowing that I did.
Its not a conspiracy this is real life occurances that I've experienced.

In my opening dialog with them I have told them what I have done and the previous routes I have taken so they are aware that I'm seeking the charities help as my desperate plea for help.

I would also prefer if they said that they have reached their quota for this funding round at least that means other people are receiving help.

I'm not beholding them to help me. Its just an observation that I have made when I have finally sought help.

There are loads of people who need help but wouldn't think they are in need enough so don't seek help from charities. This was me until I have reached this desperate state and uncovered that there is no help.

Did you ring Shelter or email them? You need to persevere with the helpline.

@NoSquirrels is 100% spot on.

Charity-bashing has become very fashionable but its largely based on a complete misunderstanding of the authority/responsiblity charities actually have (very little), how restrictive funding is and how many functions charities actually serve.

I'm sorry you've had a poor experience OP but it's not unreasonable for them to direct you to resources in the first instance. Try again and be clear about what you now need. They will most likely direct you to a local partner with funding available to deliver in person support. If they dont it's because funding doesnt exist - And that is why they continue to have to capaign nationally!!