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Original poster

Are you witty?

64 replies

nervousgiggler · 17/04/2022 15:08

I wish I was one of those people who could come up with hilarious lines off the cuff, but I'm not.

I'm 7 months preg and yesterday I was introduced to someone I'd never met before, a woman in her sixties. It was a hot day and she looked me up and down and said, "Cor, I don't envy you!" And then walked off. I know that's not particularly offensive but I remembered today and wondered what I could have said in response to that. What is an actual appropriate response?! I just laughed even though I think in hindsight I found it rude af.

Im definitely better at long rambling conversations than I am banterous small talk.

Anyway, I really admire people who can come up with "banter" on the spot.

Are you one of those people?

OP posts:
Yellownightmare · 17/04/2022 15:14

No I'm not witty. Wish I were.

Out of interest why is this woman's age relevant? It it because a) you're implying people that age are often rude b) conjuring up a more negative picture of her because it's doubly offensive from some 'old hag'. If she'd been 25 would you have mentioned her age?

That said, she was rude.

JulesRimetStillGleaming · 17/04/2022 15:16

I would've said "likewise".

I am witty but you don't always think of the line until it's too late.

Original poster
nervousgiggler · 17/04/2022 15:21

@Yellownightmare

No I'm not witty. Wish I were.

Out of interest why is this woman's age relevant? It it because a) you're implying people that age are often rude b) conjuring up a more negative picture of her because it's doubly offensive from some 'old hag'. If she'd been 25 would you have mentioned her age?

That said, she was rude.

Mm that's a good question! I think perhaps I included it to show that she had already experienced pregnancy so wasn't just saying it to be a twat, she was probably speaking from experience. Which makes it more understandable.
OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 17/04/2022 15:22

No.

ASDorNO · 17/04/2022 15:25

I'm told I'm witty and people often laugh at things I say but it's not a conscious thing. I tend to just say whatever pops into my head at that moment - it's not something I try to do or even think about.

Original poster
nervousgiggler · 17/04/2022 15:25

Also @Yellownightmare I'm not sure why me mentioning someone's age instantly made you think I believe they're an old hag, that is all your assumption and nothing to do with anything I said!

OP posts:
DietrichandDiMaggio · 17/04/2022 15:28

I would consider myself quite quick and witty generally, but I don't think the situation you gave really required a witty (smart-arse) response, because it wasn't that offensive.

PurpleDaisies · 17/04/2022 15:31

I’m a witty person. I wouldn’t have responded to that comment. It’s not worth the brain power.

crackerjackbaby · 17/04/2022 15:31

@nervousgiggler

Also *@Yellownightmare* I'm not sure why me mentioning someone's age instantly made you think I believe they're an old hag, that is all your assumption and nothing to do with anything I said!
That delayed 'wish I'd said that' in action. The irony.
Original poster
nervousgiggler · 17/04/2022 15:33

@crackerjackbaby 🥴🥴🥴

OP posts:
MardyOldGoth · 17/04/2022 15:35

Occasionally, but not as often as I'd like to be. Although reading your post I immediately thought of 'And I don't envy you either,' as a comeback. Not hugely witty but certainly appropriate.

MiniHouse · 17/04/2022 15:36

Yes, I often am witty but not when someone is unexpectedly rude. It's not your fault you couldn't cone up with something funny! It reflects badly on her, not you.

BasiliskStare · 17/04/2022 15:36

I don't know if any of you are old enough to remember Humphrey Littleton - but this An interviewer had researched Lyttelton's other interests and asked him about "orthinology" (sic). Lyttelton said that he kept a straight face and answered the question but 24 hours later thought of what he should have replied: "Oh, you mean word-botching". ( instead of birdwatching ) even the wittiest won't come up with the line exactly at the time - but this still makes me laugh.

FreezyFreezy · 17/04/2022 15:37

My immediate reaction to that is, "No, me neither!" Not witty at all but it would say how I felt; I hated being pg, especially when it was hot.

I'm only witty out loud with people I know, otherwise it's just in my head.

Haggisfish3 · 17/04/2022 15:37

I am. Mostly through exposure to other witty people-survival of the fittest!

AmbushedByCake · 17/04/2022 15:38

I don't think that situation required a witty response. I don't envy women pregnant in hot weather, because I was boiling hot throughout my pregnancies and summer was hell.

Tanfastic · 17/04/2022 15:38

People often laugh at the things I say but I'm not sure if that is because I'm witty or just a half wit sometimes 😂.

I don't think she was that rude to be honest, I would probably laughed it off and maybe even nodded in agreement.

latetothefisting · 17/04/2022 15:38

@DietrichandDiMaggio

I would consider myself quite quick and witty generally, but I don't think the situation you gave really required a witty (smart-arse) response, because it wasn't that offensive.
This. Perhaps her delivery was a bit off but she was basically being empathetic. What would you have liked to say, witty or not? I think you would have looked like a twat if you had made a "witty" comment back to something minor.
Dontsayyouloveme · 17/04/2022 15:40

Yes, very, when in a two way+ conversation. Very quick witted and a dry sense of humour! Which are qualities that I am attracted to in a partner. I’ve met so many dull blokes online recently.. I think I need to ramp up my ‘witty’ radar because it’s happening too often 🥱

JetTail · 17/04/2022 15:42

My wit is measured by the time it takes for doctors assessing me to conclude that I am sane and attempting to make a joke after me making such jokes. Sometimes, they do not reach that conclusion. I am very often diagnosed as insane when really I'm supremely witty.

JetTail · 17/04/2022 15:43

I identify as witty though.

latetothefisting · 17/04/2022 15:52

But for those suggesting you should have said something like "same to you" or "I don't envy you either" - if she'd said " what do you mean?" You'd have had to explain "well because you're old/ugly/fat" which is clearly offensive.
Whereas if you asked her "why?" She'd say "because it can't be comfortable to be pregnant in the heat" which is true and not offensive at all. So you'd look like the rude one who'd completely overreacted to an innocuous comment.

If someone says something genuinely offensive then often I think the best reaction is to pretend you don't get it and keep asking "why?" Or "what do you mean?" They eventually realize they will have to spell out their passive aggressive comment so that everyone hears them being really rude and end up getting embarrassed themselves.

stripeyflowers · 17/04/2022 15:52

Could have replied 'Now there's a coincidence.'

PurpleDaisies · 17/04/2022 15:54

@stripeyflowers

Could have replied 'Now there's a coincidence.'
Is that what passes for witty now?
stripeyflowers · 17/04/2022 15:55

Is that was passes for bitchy now?