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Original poster

Are you witty?

64 replies

nervousgiggler · 17/04/2022 15:08

I wish I was one of those people who could come up with hilarious lines off the cuff, but I'm not.

I'm 7 months preg and yesterday I was introduced to someone I'd never met before, a woman in her sixties. It was a hot day and she looked me up and down and said, "Cor, I don't envy you!" And then walked off. I know that's not particularly offensive but I remembered today and wondered what I could have said in response to that. What is an actual appropriate response?! I just laughed even though I think in hindsight I found it rude af.

Im definitely better at long rambling conversations than I am banterous small talk.

Anyway, I really admire people who can come up with "banter" on the spot.

Are you one of those people?

OP posts:
MiniHouse · 17/04/2022 15:57

I see. I had taken it as a rude comment, but actually yes perhaps just a joke. I probably would have said "why, what's going on with me?" or "that's what I said to my husband".

When I was pregnant my belly was huge even though I'm small. Two ladies started a conversation in the lift about whether I was having twins. I said "not that I know of, unless ones hiding". Probably not hilarious but they liked it!! 😊

PurpleDaisies · 17/04/2022 15:58

Exactly. It just descends into a slanging match.

The “right back at you” type of comments aren’t witty. They’re just pointless.

User0610134049 · 17/04/2022 16:02

I think I can be witty if bouncing off the right people, but I wouldn’t have fared well in the example you gave. I think comebacks to insults are different and I can never think on my feet in those situations as I’m still processing it

Yellownightmare · 17/04/2022 16:07

@nervousgiggler

Also *@Yellownightmare* I'm not sure why me mentioning someone's age instantly made you think I believe they're an old hag, that is all your assumption and nothing to do with anything I said!
I'm not saying you were OP. It's just that I've noticed a lot of times when there's a negative post, they mention the age when it's someone over 50, but rarely when it's someone under 50.

I'm not having a go at you specifically, but I think it's fair to call ageism out (if that's what it is) as much as any other 'ism' . It's pretty rife on MN if you look out for it.

SoupDragon · 17/04/2022 16:11

She was just sympathising with you. Why would you need a witty retort?

Sometimes I am on top form with the right comment landing in my brain at the right moment but often it doesn't arrive until much later (if at all).

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 17/04/2022 16:30

I don't think that required a witty comment either. She was just saying she didn't envy you. I went through my pregnancies in 2 hot summers and would have whole heartedly agreed with anyone who said they didn't envy me at that time!

Re witty I am (people tell me I am) and I say stuff in reaction to a situation that makes people laugh. However
Shortly before my ex H left me one of his last lines was..

I don't think you are even intelligent in any way. But then you really make people laugh and that require intelligence so I guess you must be on some way'

What a catch!

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 17/04/2022 16:32

*apologies for the typos. I'm not very intelligent so sometimes I make mistakes. Hmm

Shabtipup · 17/04/2022 16:36

To be witty you need a good sense of humour and that lady would've had me cracking up laughing I don't think she was being rude lol

Ohyay · 17/04/2022 16:44

I dont envy your husband...

nervousgiggler · 17/04/2022 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kite22 · 17/04/2022 17:20

She was just sympathising with you. Why would you need a witty retort?

This.

Original poster
nervousgiggler · 17/04/2022 17:36

I guess it was more in the delivery of it. I was introduced as granddaughter in law and this woman just stared at me up and down, said "I don't envy you" and walked off. It was pretty rude tbh but yeah maybe more in the way she just walked off afterwards after I was introduced than what she actually said!

OP posts:
Original poster
nervousgiggler · 17/04/2022 17:40

@Ohyay

I dont envy your husband...
Is this your witty retort or are you talking about my nonexistent husband? 😅
OP posts:
Kezzie200 · 17/04/2022 17:43

Yes, I am. However, I'm quite cryptic with my wit and it sometimes falls completely flat and I then think people think me very strange.

Lockdowns made it clear that I find it easier when typing it rather than it coming straight out as I can review, think if it will land as I intend, and clarify a little if not.

Poppop4 · 17/04/2022 17:44

I’m quite witty and I wouldn’t have felt the need for a witty response to that but would have laughed it off and perhaps said yeah cheers for that or something. Because let’s face it being heavily pregnant when it’s very warm weather is a bit shit and I do not envy pregnant women in heat. Very graceful here for my winter baby. Perhaps it is a bit rude to comment to someone you’ve only just met though I probably wouldn’t but I wouldn’t be offended by it either

Hummingbirdcake · 17/04/2022 17:44

Sometimes. It definitely helps to be around witty people.

Scout2016 · 17/04/2022 17:59

No. People often laugh at things I say but that's a different story as I'm not trying to be funny. It's disconcerting.

Not sure I'd have said anything to that woman even if I were as it's not worth it. I know what you mean though, I got outright insulted completely of the blue the other day by a stranger and it really threw me.

Btw, your thread title made that Peter Cook E.L.Wisty "Are you spotty?" sketch pop into my head which is a good thing as could do with a funny listen later.

Chikapu · 17/04/2022 18:14

Yes, I'm literally Oscar Wilde and Dorothy Parker rolled into one.

JaninaDuszejko · 17/04/2022 18:29

No point trying yo come out with a response to that. I'd have given an eyeroll as she walked off and made some jokey reference to the exchange to the person who had just introduced us but what exactly would depend on that person and our relationship. Jokes are just a form of small talk and don't need to be the funniest joke ever as long as you smile and are friendly.

Sunnytwobridges · 17/04/2022 19:02

I wish!! All my friends are tho so I get to experience thru them 😂

TitaniasAss · 17/04/2022 19:44

Is that all she said? It sounds like she was actually sympathising with you. Hot day, heavily pregnant.

dontgobaconmyheart · 17/04/2022 20:08

I worry that if one actually identifies as witty, they probably aren't.

I do think these days, and particularly on mumsnet, there is a need to slam someone in a 'witty reply' for just about anything and in doing so prove that its actually you that's looking down on them. I don't see a need really. Others rude comments reflect poorly on them and it isn't really worth the time.

Sorry you felt badly about what was said to you OP, it isn't a nice feeling but it's your own day you waste by ruminating on it. She won't be able to hear whatever mean comeback you think of several hours later, you won't have looked any better by having been able to come up with one at the time. Being snide isn't the same as a cultured wit IMO.

Sisteragatha · 17/04/2022 20:11

I don’t think so but people do laugh at what I say without if being intentionally funny so I often wonder if I am really quite dumb and am forever in fear of being discovered.

florianfortescue · 17/04/2022 20:14

The French have an expression "l'esprit d'escalier" for the feeling you have when you come up with the perfect retort while walking down the stairs afterwards Grin

She's a cow. Someone told me the best thing to say if you can't come up with anything quickly is "I beg your pardon?!" in icy incredulous tones. Not sure how well it works if the person is already walking off though!

Patienceisntvirtous · 17/04/2022 21:13

I am pretty quick, and dry

But that situation in the OP,I'd have thought would probably have warranted nothing more than a dirty look and a head tilt.