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Original poster

What's been your biggest regret in life?

94 replies

cluckyduckyfeelinglucky · 15/04/2022 20:54

I wish I could go back and redo my school years. I would study much harder to get a better job and I'd relish those carefree days when all that matters is your social life. I have a good life, great hubby and I am lucky that I have a wonderful supporting family on both sides.

I also wish a could go back and undo some mistakes I made, can't be done now but I do wish there was a time travel button.

I also wish I had traveled more before having a family. America mainly

OP posts:
ToastedCrumpetwithCheese · 15/04/2022 21:04

Yes to travelling more when we had a disposable income! Or even just doing more things like going to the theatre.

Yes to a time travelling machine to change a decision I made many years ago. Maybe there's a parallel universe somewhere where I'm living that life??

Oizys · 15/04/2022 21:07

No leaving my deadbeat boyfriend when we went off to different universities. I spent my uni years constantly going to visit him,
Putting in all the effort (and paying for everything) because I believed him that at 16/17/18 no one else would ever want me if I left him. Came to my senses by 22 but I can’t help but think I’d have done better at uni and made more of the friendships I’d made if I hunt been constantly trying to make him happy

Lovelymonkeyninetynine · 15/04/2022 21:41

Not given up my career when I had children. I don't regret those years as such as it was lovely being with them but also stressful at times and definitely difficult now for me.
I'm sure too it kind of throws the whole family system out of kilter sometimes as mum and dad struggle to understand each other's lives, ie the pressure of being at home and the pressure of a career.

HerRoyalHappiness · 15/04/2022 21:48

I regret telling the nun I was raped. She didn't tell anyone else, she didn't help me tell my parents. She just said boys will be boys and I must have wasted it to happen. I was fucking 11.
I regret never telling my parents because that bitch of a nun made me believe no one would ever believe me and now I'm older I just can't bring myself to break my mums heart.
I regret going back to my ex when I thought no one else would ever love me and putting up with more years of abuse from him.
I regret working myself to the point I was too unwell to even take my children on a day out.

PermanentTemporary · 15/04/2022 21:54

Hard to genuinely regret anything as I know why I made the decisions I did. I shouldn't have married my first husband but my regret is shallow because in fact breaking up with him was the making of me. A bit hard on the poor sod though.

I do kind of regret going to see my Mum on Saturday not Sunday. If I'd got there on Sunday she would almost certainly have been beyond help and would have died at home or in the ambulance. As I got there on Saturday, her life was saved and she is now severely disabled with no hope of improvement or independence.

CheerioBeerio · 15/04/2022 21:57

Not getting proper help with my weight as a teen. I'm now a very obese / morbid obese adult. It's prevented me doing so so much and hugely impacted my confidence, ability to progress and self esteem. I'm a shadow person in permanent apology and mortification.

Gaspingandleaping · 15/04/2022 21:57

Cheated. Absolutely despicable thing to do. 3 rounds of counselling and being near suicide was not worth it.

bellaiceberg · 15/04/2022 22:03

hah!

i chose art over money, although I was indeed lucky to manage a decent living painting. I can't imagine many on MN would tolerate that. However, I didn't have children, so my choices are and were in tandem with that. It could have been very different had I wanted kids...

What I do regret is my youth and lack of confidence, the power and privilege i had to do anything....yet didn't. But i am the result of the choices i DID make. You learn from them.

There are a few issues with men - how much I forgave asshole behaviour. I would def go b ack and undo that!

bellaiceberg · 15/04/2022 22:08

something i possibly wont get much sympathy for but i gave up my beloved cat in 2021 to do my degree in another county. she was re-homed but christ...I fucking loathe myself for that.

thankfully I got another a year later who became my dearest little love (not a mum so humour me!) who lived for 17 yrs as my best friend.

CrowAndArrow · 15/04/2022 22:18

Nothing. I am who I am today because of the mistakes I made yesterday.

JustBkind · 15/04/2022 22:23

No regrets. If you turned back the clock, you would know no different to what you did then and therefore you would do it all again. All life’s lessons sent to teach us something. That’s my opinion.

Lampzade · 15/04/2022 22:31

Je ne regrette rien

Wincarnis · 15/04/2022 22:35

Staying in an unhappy marriage hoping it would get better. The wasted years…..aaargh!

StopStartStop · 15/04/2022 22:37

Not having a mentor who could guide me into fulfilling my potential.

burstcouch · 15/04/2022 22:45

Moving to where I live now, I feel trapped and can't see a move in the near future

Staying with my children's father for too long

Not having another baby. I'm 39 now and the clock is ticking

Not learning to drive

JellyNo15 · 15/04/2022 22:45

Have confidence in myself regarding education. Now I am in my fifties I realise I am as, if not more, intelligent than most of my friends. That said my closest friend is the nicest person ever even through she is not the brightest. Kindness is the highest quality.
Also I wish I had realised how attractive I was, no self confidence, but now I have a more couldn't care less attitude I have lost my looks.

Stillfunny · 15/04/2022 22:51

Not doing better at education and developing a career
Not having more children
Not being more financially aware
Not spending quality time with my mother
Marrying my husband

WalrusSubmarine · 15/04/2022 23:14

I wish I’d had more confidence in myself (my looks, my abilities, my intellect etc) and hadn’t got caught up in the ‘what other people think’ trap. I had a horrible few years where people kept telling me to be more assertive and then almost instantly told me off for being more assertive or that I was doing it wrong/couldn’t do that/was making things difficult. It was so confusing and disillusioning. I wish I’d told them to fottfsof - I’d have saved myself a fortune in therapy and had a much better time!

chipsnmayo · 15/04/2022 23:19

I wish I didnt give up on my first marriage too easily. Not sure if it was fixable but being young we basically ended it when the going got tough after a very short marriage. Now being older and wiser, and having more failed relationships with worse men I wish I tried to save it, at least then I could make my peace with the divorce.

Studying a vocational degree, wish I gave myself more choices, I am bored of being stuck in the same job for nearly 40 years.

mistermagpie · 15/04/2022 23:29

It's quite superficial compared to some, but I used sunbeds quite often in my early 20s and I really really regret it now. I'm in my 40s now with prematurely aged skin and I'm terrified I'm going to get skin cancer.

I've had some quite bad things happen to me in life (I was divorced, am long-term NC with my whole family etc), but those things kind of shaped who I am and I'm not sure I would have the wonderful things I have without them, so no regrets there. But the sunbeds - there is nothing positive about it and so much damage and risk for nothing.

fridaRose · 15/04/2022 23:33

@Lampzade

Je ne regrette rien
Most of us don't speak French. What is the point of this?
Calafsidentity · 15/04/2022 23:33

@WalrusSubmarine

I wish I’d had more confidence in myself (my looks, my abilities, my intellect etc) and hadn’t got caught up in the ‘what other people think’ trap. I had a horrible few years where people kept telling me to be more assertive and then almost instantly told me off for being more assertive or that I was doing it wrong/couldn’t do that/was making things difficult. It was so confusing and disillusioning. I wish I’d told them to fottfsof - I’d have saved myself a fortune in therapy and had a much better time!
Me too WalrusSubmarine I could have written this post!
HailAdrian · 15/04/2022 23:33

Being chubby in my 20s and not saying bye to my mum properly.

HailAdrian · 15/04/2022 23:34

And smoking.

Calafsidentity · 15/04/2022 23:38

Um. It's the entire point surely?

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