What's been your biggest regret in life?

[cluckyduckyfeelinglucky]

I wish I could go back and redo my school years. I would study much harder to get a better job and I'd relish those carefree days when all that matters is your social life. I have a good life, great hubby and I am lucky that I have a wonderful supporting family on both sides.

I also wish a could go back and undo some mistakes I made, can't be done now but I do wish there was a time travel button.

I also wish I had traveled more before having a family. America mainly

Moving into this house
But that is only hindsight
No one told me beforehand what I needed to know

Moving across the country to be with DH. Life isn't terrible, but it makes things difficult. I have to miss out on so much with family and friends because it's just not possible to go back for the weekend sometimes.

I try not to dwell on regrets. 'Future me' would have done things differently but that doesn't mean the choices I made weren't right at the time. The mistakes I've made were made through love more than anything else, so they weren't completely bad!

Not leaving home at 17 when I had the chance - it would have meant living my own life and making my own choices…

Instead, I was a ‘good girl’ and stayed on the path chosen for me by my parents…

I regret being influenced by my mum regarding relationships she believed couldn’t work because of different religious beliefs.

The self doubt instilled in me about leaving my town of birth and my family, and not pursuing career opportunities in London or Romania.

Giving up on my first marriage and not listening to my husbands pleas for forgiveness.

Not finishing my MA when i was so close to completion.

I do have a lovely life now though and wouldn’t really change it for the world!

@HerRoyalHappiness I'm sorry to hear what happened to you and upset that the nun made it worse by her comments

Walking away from a wealthy,decent man is my biggest regret.

That the adoption placement of a 7 year old with me three years ago broke down.

I regret even starting down that road.

Is the only thing I have failed at.

Not wrecking my life, but no longer carefree and happy every day.

Crikey where do I start.

I wish I'd worked harder as a kid. I mean I did work bard but I also felt held back. I was prevented without serious begging from accessing a stage higher in the maths books. And because I was doing OK I was allowed to just coast. Maybe if I'd been pushed a bit harder or given sone 1 on 1 mainly just to cement and increase my confidence I'd have been able to pass the 11 plus and not gone to a school where I felt like an alien most of the time. Til I found my fellow rejects. When you pass your tests amd are in top sets no one really encourages much more . I could have done alot better than I did. Maybe I'd have more job prospects now

I regret not using a phone book. Sounds tivial I know but if I'd have used one and not relied on strorage on a mobile maybe I'd be some where else today. When I was at college I met a guy. He was sweet, kind, we talked fir hours the first night I met him mainly cos we had no where to go fir anything else but still it was so nice. He also helped me see what the fuss was about. I saw him a few times for some amazing nights. All lost because of a stupid phone mishap that meant I no longer had his number. Maybe if I'd kept it in a phone book, instead of a string of men amd one might stands who never got me and on top of other things left me feeling really crap about myself. Not that it tok much. But I have never had it all. I've never had a guy who likes me, can talk with me fir hours, who didn't come with baggage, who actually seemed to enjoy my company outside of the bedroom , ever since. I've had to pick and choose what I can amd cant live with and I've never chosen right. I still think about him occasionally and how he was probably the one guy who ever really made me.feel good about myself amd that there wasn't anything wring with me and maybe just maybe he actually liked me. I love my girls and wouldn't change them for the world. But I do wonder what if I hadn't lost that number.

I regret the pub. Working in it was fun don't get me wrong but there's something a little soul destroying about low wages and
living off tips you only got because of a low cut top amd a push up bra, working late so all there is to do after is go to another pub.
Its a whole lifestyle that prevents you being healthy and making good choices amd not getting drunk on a night off and hooking up with some random guy after all who else wants someone who works in a pub and can't do something normal like cook dinner and watch a move because all you have is a room.with a bathroom and a bed. You live off crap because u have no means to make anything else. Knocking at the door they were

I regret being ok with it all for so long. I'm.fat 40 and single. I've spent what should have been the best years of my life picking the wrong guys and the wrong jobs because I always figured there was time to turn it around.

I still can I know but I'm.carrying 20 years of mistakes with me this time.

This sounds quite bad and shallow, but I wish I could go back to when I was a child and not get fat. There was always far too much food served up in our house, and puddings and snacks galore etc. Therefore I was fat all through school up until I was 22 stone at the age of 20, and then I had a huge task doing something about it (I lost 12 stone which was great).

But being fat affected my life and self esteem very badly. Bullied at school, ended up in a 6 year unfulfilling relationship because I was just happy someone wanted to be in a relationship with me.

I would love to do things again, and experience proper teenage life, enjoying boys, clothes and makeup without being too fat for all of it. Enjoy school without worrying about what people are going to shout at me. And (this sounds the worst) enjoy my first year at uni better, where all the other girls were having a great time with boys and I wasn't, because nobody wanted to sleep with me.

I know it sounds bad but I was so much happier when I lost the weight, I just wish I'd never been fat in the first place.

@CheerioBeerio

Not getting proper help with my weight as a teen. I'm now a very obese / morbid obese adult. It's prevented me doing so so much and hugely impacted my confidence, ability to progress and self esteem. I'm a shadow person in permanent apology and mortification.

@CheerioBeerio

I’m really sorry to hear this. You might find Overeaters Anonymous helpful, they have lots of online groups. You aren’t alone.

I regret being so lazy, eating so much rubbish and gaining so much weight.
I regret not moving out of my flat to a bigger place in a cheaper area.
I regret thinking rushing into marriage and motherhood. I thought it would make me happy. I should have waited, I should have travelled more, got more life experience.
I should have done the journalism degree, not the nursing degree. I listened to Mum too much back then.

Je ne regrette rien is one of the most famous songs globally by Edith Piaf. It's unanimous with the phrase - I regret nothing. It makes complete sense in the context of this thread. It's all about a person who regrets nothing - not the good or bad or anything that has come to pass in their life.

Probably were I am - and it's possibly easier to be that as I'm fairly happy where I am now.

I do wish some thing had been possible or easier - I wish we'd had more help when kids were small - but we seem close now kids are teens.

I do wish my A-level had been happier - but I wasn't allowed to go elsewhere and my choice of subjects was influenced by parents - and that gave me confidence to stick to where I wanted for university.

Wishe I'd fallen in love with subject I choose at university but if I hadn't gone there wouldn't have met DH.

Had house and location were DC spent a fair bit of their childhood - but we couldnlt have stayed in previous location and it again help us make a better choice to land here and we made most of the place and a large part of their childhood was there.

Do sometimes wish we'd picked different secondary - but we had no clue it would go downhill so fast and other choices weren't better and we love location and house.

I did wish I'd done more before children - but if I'd traveled we wouldn't have had money for house and our situation would have been more precarious.

Sometimes wish could have kept my career going but would have had less time with chidlren and suspect strain would have damaged marriage with even less tiem and even more demands.

There have been some bad times and choices and many compromises - but led me where I am currently.

@CheerioBeerio
‘ I'm a shadow person in permanent apology and mortification’
I’m really moved by this sentence. I’m so sorry you are living in such a painful way.
And I don’t quite know how to say this as I know that sentence Carries a lot of pain so I don’t want to come
Across as flippant but i couldn’t be struck by the concise, moving language you used. You have a talent with words. Do you write?

Had house and location were DC spent a fair bit of their childhood -

Hated should read - neigbour from hell difficult place to move to if hadn't grown up there very unwelcoming- but still had many good things groups facilities etc that we made sure to use. I did happily move away - which took longer than we ever thought it would but we got there.

@HerRoyalHappiness
It was very hard to read your post and feel the anger rising up at the injustice and fucking outrage. I’m sorry you went through that.

Joining mumsnet (lighthearted)

Waiting too long to try for a second child. Too late now.

Not finishing my degree. I’m happy with my job and lifestyle now, but being a dropout knocked my confidence for a long time, and I didn’t really recover until my thirties.

Making too many compromises for the sake of shit relationships with men who weren’t good enough when I was young. I learned from it, but I would have learned just as much and been happier if I’d had the experiences I missed out on.

@Thinking2041 @Luredbyapomegranate and the poster who has kindly PMd me: thank you.
I think I will get in touch with OEA (although I've never felt that I overeat it seems INSANE to imagine that with a BMI of 40+ that I don't).
I enjoy language but am not a writer as such. I've tried, but I suppose the shame is too much!
Frankly I just want to warn other people who may be on the cusp of becoming overweight, not to, to seek help before it becomes too difficult.
And also for people who have never been overweight or significantly overweight to understand that us fat people get it. We really do. We really know exactly how people feel about us, and we wear our problem like a big red flashing signpost everyday (despite huge amounts of headspace taken up by ways we can try and appear even slightly smaller).

It might be interesting for some posters to read The Midnight Library.

@Lampzade

Je ne regrette rien

Had to laugh. (I don't speak French either but I am cultured enough to have heard that song before, it's pretty famous after all).

I wish I could be one of those 'I regret nothing' kind of people but I'm not. I think we should regret when we've been an arse, when we've hurt someone etc., which we all invariably have at some point even if it wasn't deliberate. That's how I've grown to be a more caring person I think.

@TitaniasAss I think you're completely right. I used to be someone who said 'I don't regret anything' but my mind is starting to change now

I think I've gone through life not being an arse - probably too nice TBH but from that learnt to be firm and have boundaries.

However it's easier to have no regrets when you're happy with your current life.

I did feel some in last place as did feel trapped and less happy and felt our attemps to better our lives were getting us no where and everything kept going wrong again as soon as we got on our feet.

@gwanwyn well I've never done it deliberately. 😂 But I do look back now and feel that I could have dealt with some situations better and the fact that I didn't bothers me.